Black Dog 18

HVDY I don't believe it. Another fall. Goodness, I hope she's OK. Yes, leather settees aren't great in hot weather.
Is the day centre staying open after all??
Doodle good to know there's a doctor you can call on.
I'm a bit tired thank you, but not as much as I expected.
EllieAnne I hate having to chat. I used to make excuses, sore throat, etc. luckily my hairdresser is happy not to chat, she said she talks all day and finds it tiring. So we just talk a little. Just don't chat. And think of how good you'll feel with your hair done.

EllieAnne This heat and humidity is making me feel tired. I could go to sleep now, but I won't. I know what you mean about the hairdresser's. Sit and look at soe magazines, then you'll avoid the chat and mirrors. SIL has now had 3 falls in the 2 1/2 weeks she's been in this home. She's still in casualty .

Went for a walk today but didn’t feel up to going far. Just felt weary. It clouded over in the afternoon so I managed a bit of weeding. .
My mood is not great, got hair appointment tomorrow which I always find stressful. Mirrors and chat 😢😢😢
Thinking of wyllow.
Glad you are enjoying your cruise doodle.
So sorry about your centre closing hvdy and your poor s in l again.

Whiff A long but caring post.
Wyllow Hope you've been able to get into your lovely garden.
Doodle I take Ibuprofen now and again (anti-inflammatory) but they don't really help. Hope you and your DH are having a nice time. Do you go home this weekend?
SweetpeaSue, Candy6, nadateturbe and others - hope you've been ok today.

The day centre is apparently going to be open next Thursday, at a £3 increase in cost, so that will be the last day now. SIL fell over again so was taken to hospital at 11am, still there, waiting for the results of x-rays. DH and I have been sitting on a towel each, as we're sticking to our leather settees . x

Hello all. Smooth sailing here.
Sweetpeasue glad your GP is nice. Hopefully he know s what he’s doing. Hopefully the blood test will give some clues to what’s causing your DHs problems.
To be honest he blood blister has remained covered so I’m not sure how it is but hoping it’s ok.
Glad you saw the MH person. Good you and your DH are supporting each other.
nadateturbe so glad you enjoyed your trip it seems to have done you good. Hope your energy levels improve today.
Candy glad you found walking helps your mental health.
Shame you haven’t got a park near you. We have two, one with play area for children but the other is mainly nicely planting and little streams and fountains. Really nice place to walk.
At the moment I’m looking after DHs leg myself but will have to call in the Doctor if I get worried about it. We are having a good time thanks back Tuesday.
Another lovely post from you Whiff. You have spent so much of your life caring for others. I Hope now is a time of you being able to to put yourself first. It’s nice to thing Black Dogs helps some people. We can’t mend anything or come up with miraculous cures but if a listening ear and comforting word can help then I hope that is what we all provide to each other.
HVDY is there any chance of the day centre getting their money? Be such a shame for it to close. So sorry about your poor legs. Are there any better pain killers available?
Whiff that was a nice gesture to go and thank the people from the Brain Charity and the solicitor. So pleased you got your result.
Wyllow do hope you are making some improvement. We miss your company but realise it’s hard for you at the moment,
Thinking and praying for you.

I think you should consider it Whiff. But only if you want to. You're very caring and genuine and can speak from experience. I once gave talk about living as a family with a glad injured person to medical professionals. They found it very helpful and I was able to answer questions. I doubt that no one would turn up. But if it happens it doesn't matter. But as I said only if you want to.

Nadateturbe I know I ramble 😁on but I meant every word. My brother says I have verbal diarrhoea it's past to my typing finger.🤣🤣🤣

Because of winning my PIP went to the Brain Charity who helped on Tuesday with a thank card and a nice mug for R and E with their names on as a little thank you and sent one to the solicitor S who has worked pro bono for me since July last year. Had a lovely email back from S saying she was delighted for my gift . The way she wrote made me think people don't say thank you for her help. But I always say thank you as it's only polite and even if I have to complain about anything I am never nasty to call handlers it's not their fault but unfortunately they get abuse and that's not fair or right. People who cause the problem never deal with the general public.

R asked me if I would give a talk as I am so positive about my disability. I laughed and said people would say this woman never stops talking. E said I should. R has asked before. So will think about it. It's not the fact of giving a talk that phases me it's the thought of no one turning up. Any way that's something to think about.

Take care of yourselves 🌹

Sad day for your centre HVDY. Shame the money can't be found to keep them going.
Your poor legs will be glad when the weather cools down.
Good morning everyone, I hope your day is pleasant. Good morning Wyllow3. Thinking about you.

Whiff a very long thoughtful post to everyone. x

It's another warm start to what's going to be a hot day. Last day at the day centre - the 3 branches need £40,000 by the end of this month, to keep going. My legs have been extremely painful all this week (Vasculitis is inflammation of the blood vessels, and obviously, heat makes it worse), but there's nothing I can do about it. Hope ALL BDers manage to enjoy a bit of sunshine today x

This will be a general post as so much is happening in your lives would be hard to name everyone. Glad new people have found this helpful,supportive, friendly and caring thread. Like a lot of health issues mental health has been taboo for to long and it's is being talked about more. Think Covid lockdowns made it possible for people to talk especially online as we couldn't go out like we used to. So in a way while Covid cost so many families death of a loved one or having long Covid it helped people admit that they had mental health problems and it also highlighted other problems people had. Yes Covid was and still is with us but the ability to talk about issues that effect us hasn't stopped because online was the only place some people got to talk to others. A place that you could talk about things you didn't or couldn't talk to family about. This thread is a safe place for many and it's longevity is testament to how much it is needed and will always be.

But it's only thanks to the bravery of so many posting . Reading your posts daily many of you put yourself down . You don't realise how much strength you show by writing if you are struggling with mental or physical health or both .

Some have written about not wanting to carry on but by writing that shows you do you just don't realise it. Also it takes courage to admit to feeling that way. It's all to easy to put a brave face on when inside you are screaming .

I know for myself I wish I had found GN before 2019 as it would have saved me from being like that and being able to talk about what I was going through would have helped me so much instead I struggle on my own and it cost me healthwise. But it's only looking back did I realise it.

Like many here I had people depandant on me when I was ill myself but put them first .

The worry about your own health is bad enough but many here are worrying about the health of loved ones. And it has a knock on effect which ends up with being caught in a vicious cycle of worry.

People don't realise being worried all the time about your own health and that of loved ones makes your own health worse. Take me for example. I have be carer since I was 11. When my nan was ill 2 aunts looked after during the week and because I was the oldest and only granddaughter for 19 years my dad took me to Nan's on a Friday and picked me up on Sunday. But I loved my nan so it never seemed strange it's just what we did. Even though all my life I have had pains in my legs and fell a lot my extended family never treated me as odd it was just me. And was surrounded with love and attention. It was my normal .

That's another thing people think there is a normal but there isn't such thing as normal as everyone has their own normal. Only time abnormal should be used is to describe say a lump on your body that wasn't there before. Bad example but can't think of anything else at the moment.

Anyway normal would be boring. I love the fact everyone is different. I try and help where I can it's my way to pay back help I have had. And I have had help from here. Because I don't post often doesn't mean you here don't help me daily but you do .
And I am positive you help many more who don't feel they can post but read and then they don't feel alone.

Like I said you don't realise how strong and inspiring you all are. You face whatever life throws at you yes some struggle but you don't give up fighting and that's the main thing to carry on fighting one day at a time. Some have mentioned not wanting to be here anymore but you fight on because you know it would devastated those that love and care for you. Even at your lowest ebb you fight on but once at rock bottom you slowly crawl back up. It's very hard for many but you do it . And before you look around you have gotten through another day and before you look around a week has past and then another and slowly you start to feel better.

Keep fighting and posting to just say hello if that's all you can manage . As on this thread people care about eachother and worry if they don't hear from someone having a really bad time.

To quote Galaxy Quest never give up never surrender. 💐👥

Evening
Hairspray welcome to our little supportive group. Sorry you are feeling so low. We all have different experiences/causes for depression but I think that AD’s do mostly help. It’s early days for you and Given perseverance, you’ll get there. The feelings can be scary and horrible but they do pass. Finding a coping mechanism is important, mine was walking. There’s no quick fix unfortunately but it hopefully won’t take too long for the meds to work. Mine took about 3 weeks so focus on the fact that you’ll feel better very soon. I took the view that I’d felt so awful for such a long time then a few more weeks wouldn’t make much difference. Good luck.
HVDY your day at the park sounded idyllic. The park sounds lovely, I wish there was one around here. Bet you’re tired now though. Nice you saw your SiL and it’s a shame your brother is so difficult.
Doodle your DH’s leg sounds nasty but it’s good he’s not in any pain. If you’re on a cruise, then can you get to see the onboard dr? They may be able to prescribe something? Im a very negative person too and an awful worrier. I was also very lonely when I had my children. DH worked long hours, my Mum was ill with Dad looking after her and my friends had either not had children yet or they had and gone back to work which may be the cause of why I hate being alone now. Anyway I hope you are still enjoying yourselves. When do you get back?
Wyllow I’m glad you are being referred on. I hope the new team are able to help you more. Hope you are managing to look after yourself. Thinking about you and sending lots of love.
Sweetpeasue I hope the mix up is sorted for you and the pain management clinic are clear on what they need to deal with. Your AD’s will hopefully start to work very soon and you’ll feel able to cope with things better and help your DH too hopefully. It’s a shame he’s had to stop his AD’s. Stress does make fibro worse as I have a friend with it and she gets flares when stressed. Strange GP didn’t do a blood test though. I hope you have both had the best day possible.
Nadaterturbe yes, we had a lovely time at the caravan. Hoping to go again this weekend. I’m the same as you if I don’t hear from my children. My son rings me every day and I often guilty about this in case he feels he has to, which he does really as I begin to imagine all sorts of things if I don’t hear from him. I catastrophise, always think the worst. Can’t help it. I hope you’ve had a good day.
Scaredycat Ellie Anne hope you have both been ok and have managed to enjoy the sunshine today.
I’m so tired (again). Very busy few days in work, one day I may just pluck up the courage and pack it all in. In the meantime, I’ll just crack on. Wishing you all a restful night and sending lots of love xx

Nadateturbe Thankyou so much for your caring, especially with so much to cope with yourself. I think many of these type of autoimmune illnesses are still so misunderstood and there's so much that Drs and medical science dont know. Hope you sleep well.

Sweetpeasue, just read your last post. I too am pretty sure stress makes Fibro worsen quickly. Stress gives me pain very quickly . I was diagnosed many years ago. But whatever is causing it, your husband needs help. I hope the week goes in quicly, and that painkillers are helping. I wonder would a warm bath help, maybe with Epsom salts.. Or a gel to rub on his joints like pernaton.
I'm sorry feeling better didn't last long for you. It's depressing when you feel things are improving and then the pain comes back. you feel like screaming. It's good you're able to support each other.

Wyllow I hope you are eating something today and maybe getting some fresh air in the garden.

Good evening Scaredycat My DD on the south coast has just told me the exact same thing, can’t make dinner because she’s melting! We’ve had salad again. I hope you’ve survived the heat. It must be difficult for you. A walk in the cool evening is better, if the heat hasn’t drained one’s energy. What one used to be able to do is better not thought about too much. We love looking at the Mourne Mountains but often think We used to climb them. But at least we got to do the things. Some folk never have the chance or the good health to do them.
You understood my post, yes I was so pleased. The ferry trip back was enjoyable. And I feel I’ve regained some confidence. I might post a photo.
I’m glad ADs have worked well for you too. Hope blood test is ok tomorrow. Enjoy your lunch with GD. It’s lovely spending time with the children, but you don’t get much chance for a proper chat. You have GGC! Gosh!

Doodle I hope it hasn’t been too warm where you are. And that your husband’s leg is a little better.
Isn’t it amazing how we can worry so much? Sometimes I look back and think how many years I have wasted worrying about things that never happened. I’m very slightly better, but it takes a lot of effort – and prayer.
You do forget what normal feels like when you have something long term, you also lose motivation as well. But it’s important not to give in to it, although that’s easier said than done. I think it would be very difficult when the illness is more physical iykwim. I think your husband copes really well, with all his health issues.
I think we would all like the opportunity to speak for Sweetpeasue. No one seems to listen properly to what she is saying.

EllieAnne I hope you got through the weekend all right, and are able to enjoy the garden in this lovely weather. What book are you reading? I’m reading (very slowly) Still Life, Sarah Winman.

Apologies to anyone I haven’t said hello too recently. Thinking of you all, hope you have a peaceful night.

Doodle Such thoughtful posts to all. Your comments about some consultants summed up my frustration too. I did tell GP my concern DH had Fibromyalgia and he said Fibro comes on slowly. He's a compassionate and caring Dr but I googled it and think it can come on more quickly after stress or trauma. I do think it's Fibro but understand GP thinking could be AD connection. I'm with DH and have seen his extreme fatigue and headaches for a while before the joint pains started. Will just have to go with Drs advice and wait the week without them before the promised blood tests. How is your husbands blood blister? Hope it is less angry and has reduced.
Nadateturbe Must have been nice to have family around when your children were small. Sounds as if you had a close family and that is so helpful. Seemed to give valium out quite freely then didn't they. I found it scary becoming a mum and I remember buying a 'handbook' to try and follow. It was soon abandoned.
HVDY Its such a sad situation for your SIL. It must be hard for you to see her like that when you knew her before the Dementia developed. Hoping your legs are not causing you too much pain lately.
Candy Thankyou for your thoughtful words to me.My DH is the only one who truly knows what its all been like these last yrs. When you care about each other you feel each other's pain don't you. Hoping you are not to exhausted now you're back at work.
Hairspray100 Hoping you are coping ok today. Thinking of you.
Scaredycat hoping you are ok and EllieAnne WhiffAllsorts

DH is no better. He looks completely exhausted the whole time and walks v slowly after the morning stiffness has worn off a bit. When he sits for a while it all happens again and his pain is everywhere. Antidepressants are recommended for Fibro but hes had to stop them which isnt going to help. Calling Dr on Monday if hes no better.
Saw MH nurse and it went ok though had to take Oramorph and co codomol to get there so not quite with it. Thought felt better mentally this morning but spirits sank when pain came back.
One good thing is we feel closer at the moment.

Take care all.

A couple of new people have PMd me to ask about Black Dog so we may get others joining us soon.
nadatetube I’m the same. If I text my son and he doesn’t reply on the same day then my mind goes into overdrive. This is despite the fact that I know he often forgets to reply or doesn’t respond for a few days but I still worry.
HVDY isn’t that sinking feeling in the stomach the worst thing. I find if I have something on my mind there’s little I can do to distract myself but my thoughts keep coming back to my problems. I hate that feeling. Nice of you to visit your SIL. She sounds more settled unlike your brother who seems to be missing her company. Not much you can do if he won’t listen to what you say.

Doodle I was like you when my boys were little - alone for most of the time. DH worked 12 hours a day then, as well as Saturday mornings. It meant that I didn't need to, but I had the children on my own, and then he was too tired to help in the evenings. I used to go to Mum & Toddler groups, then when they went to school, I helped there most afternoons. No mobile 'phones, Facebook or lunch in the pub in those days . Hope you're both enjoying your holiday.

nadateturbe I'm not "cured", I still have days when I wish I wasn't here, or I have that horrible sinking feeling in my stomach - but I remind myself that I'm luck you have a loving family, and am lucky to be here anyway, after Covid, pneumonia, an induced coma, and a stroke.

I went to see SIL today, at the care home. Sat in the garden with her (she was wheeled out) for 2 hours. She's relaxed but very confused. Visited brother for an hour and a half - he's still feeling sorry for himself, but is depressed and lonely -
and is impossible to help, as he doesn't accept advice.

The hottest day of the year, I think - my husband made a curry . I still ate it. Hope ALL BDers have managed to see a bit of sunshine today x

Back later, must go out.....

HVDY your two days out sound very enjoyable, I’m sure the GC really loved them. I can just picture the eldest GD pushing the little baby, happy little group. . But I’m knackered just reading about it lol.
You sound like a good advert for ADs. I’m so glad they have worked so well for you. I wonder will you take it easy today.

Hello Candy Sounds like a very nice time at the caravan. The fresh air probably made you sleepy but you must have needed the rest too. And no dinner to make. Lovely. I hope it refreshed you, ready for work.
A very good post to Sweetpeasue. Probably how we all feel, but I find it difficult to express. I think we all dislike feeling like a burden, but as you say, we would do the same if positions were reversed.
I’m sure we never stop being concerned mothers. If I don’t hear from mine for a while, I always think something bad has happened. Silly.
We worried so about our son being left alone, but his in laws are all wonderful with him.
I hope you’re not too tired at work today after travelling late last night.

Scaredycat hope you have a good time with your DGD. Nice to meet up for coffee. Hope the blood test goes well.
We have lovely weather again today. The world looks so much better in the sunshine,
Sweetpeasue so sorry you are struggling so much. How these consultants can get things so wrong amazes me. You tell them one thing and they wrote something different, I hope you get the mix up with the hysterectomy sorted. The Pain Managment team will hopefully take more note of what you tell them face to face. Sorry your DH has had to stop the ADs for now. Good thing the GP saw you both. Did you mention fibromyalgia to the Doc? Hope the MH consult is a help tomorrow. Sometimes I feel like banging several heads together in the NHS about your issues.
Please don’t worry about offloading here. This is the one place you can say how bad things are. I wish we could help more but if it helps just writing about it, please do.
Take care,
Hairspray the Black Dog thread has been going on GN for some time. All on it have issues with depression, anxiety, mental or physical health issues. You can say how you’re feeling on here. No need to put on brave front.
I have had ADs in the past and have experienced the same issues as you with the trembling and such an awful feeling when waking in the morning. We all have things that trigger this sort of feeling. The ADs should help also others might suggest some books or something that has helped them
It took me a long time to realise that some of the people I envied with what looked like perfect lives actually had their own issues and troubles, as you say, all is not always as it seems.
HVDY the new little one sounds amazing. So lovely for you to get to spend time with her and the girls to see her too.
nadateturb I am a very negative person. No sooner do I have one problem solved in my mind the I find something else to worry about. I have always been the same and have spent most of my life worrying about this or that. What you said about being ill so long struck a chord with me. I can remember DH saying the same thing. He used to say he’d been ill so long he couldn’t remember what normal was anymore. Being ill like that with fatigue is so debilitating and bound to bring you down. If we can’t function as we feel we want to, everything becomes so much of an effort,
Yes I was lonely a lot when young although didn’t really feel that way. It was hard when the boys were young but ok before they went to school. I did have friends to meet up with ince a week but DH worked long hours and I did miss having family around.
Hello Wyllow stick with us please. Even if life has no joy at the moment we all care and want to know you’re around. Thinking of you 💕

Doodle good morning. Im glad your husband’s leg is not troubling him, apart from how it looks. So unfortunate for that to happen. Hope you’re still enjoying the cruise. It’s lovely just to have meals made for you and no housework to do. I was so lucky when I was young, having so much family. I didn’t cope very well having three children so young, I was on Valium for a while, so the support and company was good. I remember asking the shop assistant how to cook cauliflower. Unbelievable, I know. It must have been a bit lonely for you with no one your age living close. I can’t imagine that.
Hope today is a good one for you. (and that there's some custard. I didn’t know you were partial to custard. I still buy Birds custard.)

Thoughtful and caring sharing today, I haven't had any news, but wanted to say hello to Hairspray. xx

Nadateturbe V kind of you to post as I know how hard it is for you, energywise, especially after your full day. Thankyou, yes if things not better in a week he will have blood tests. Hoping you have a restful night. X