Black Dog 15

Phew. I had a horrible thought I would look and find this thread gone. Ellie Anne I feel the same way I don't want to lose anyone here I have come to care for all who post.

It shows how powerful words can be. Think it's because here we don't have to be fine. I am guilty of that. If someone asked how I am I would say fine when in fact I was screaming inside. But here I can be me . And I worry if anyone or one of your loved ones is hurt or ill.

Candy I don't even know how it's supposed to have changed as to me it's the same since I first posted . It not been that long ago.

I plan things in advance and don't like things spur of the moment. I can do spur of the moment like an emergency but it puts me on edge. It's like if I decide to do something or when I decided what worked needed doing on the bungalow . I organised it and got it done. I don't do wishy washy thinking. My life has to make sense it's how I have always been since my teens. Looking back and finding out from others with HPX it's how they cope as well.

Also here I have learn from you all coping methods for when it all gets to much. So thank you for that.

Hope everyone else will pop on today . And don't lose anyone else permanently . 🌹

I tried to message Hvdy too but it didn’t seem to go. Never done it before so I thought it might be me.
I saw my gds yesterday. I was over doing some housework etc. they’ve been playing up their mum but were fine with me.
I’m going to make myself walk today though the weather isn’t good and to be honest I don’t feel like it. I’ve been eating rubbish all week and my body feels heavy and so tense.
I’m staying in less and less but am tired.
Thursday is my empty day and I usually arrange to meet someone but haven’t done today.
I’d never have thought losing people on this thread would affect me so much. Care about you all xx

Morning all, I came on this morning to catch up and really can’t believe what’s happening. I can’t post properly now as I have to sort my GS ready for school but just wanted to leave a quick message to say Doodle I’m so glad you’re back. You have been very kind on here and it wouldn’t be the same without you. HVDY please come back. You too have been more than supportive and it won’t be the same without you. I just wish it could go back to the safe, caring community it was before. I know I’ve not been back here long, but after my break, it was the first place I thought of coming back to for comfort and support. One of my triggers is that I don’t deal well with change and confrontation, as I’m sure will be the case for many of us, so I really hope this thread can get back to what it was. I’ll be back later. Love to all xx

Whiff Lovely supportive words from you. You really are inspirational. I hope you have some luck with your own personal circumstances soon.
Doodle I hope you sleep well tonight. You deserve some peace and rest. Do hope your DH manages a much needed rest too.
Wyllow Yes, tomorrow is another day. Rest well and hope the tum behaves itself.
Scaredycat Lovely to have you back. I hope you are ok tonight.
Nadateturbe Best wishes for a peaceful night too.

Just so tired. Cant say anymore really.
Wishing all here who come looking for help and those past a peaceful night.

I'm just counting blessings after family phone calls and whatsapps. Thought I'd post something nice.

Whiff I’m glad you can talk about things here.I understand about not worrying family. Hope you have a good night.
You too Wyllow sleep well.

I’m hoping HVDY feels like posting soon too.

Doodle I'm really hoping the meds switch will help, it would make so much difference.

Tomorrow is another day, hey? Fresh start and bring our usual Stuff and Natters in xxxxx

Doodle to me I can't see when you have ever been selfish. All you have done is help people when coping with so much yourself.

All I have read I can't see where anyone has be nothing but kindness , supportive , understanding and most importantly friendship to eachother.

If people leave them who ever it is who trying to pit people against eachother wins. They should be pitied as if that's what makes their live worth living then they aren't living their live to the full.

We only have one life and it can be brilliant and down right awful. But it's life . I had to tell my husband to stop fighting as he couldn't breathe even on full oxygen . He died within minutes.

I don't believe life at any cost . My husband didn't either but quality of life is important.

And this thread makes a difference to my quality of life. And I think it does to many as well.

Here everyone can be themselves and talk about things that they can't in real life. I know I have written things I could never tell my daughter or brother or even my best friend. But here I am not frightened to say how I feel.

I think others feel the same . Perhaps I am wrong and it's just me.

Sweet dreams everyone and hope to see you all tomorrow.

nadateturbe thank you x. I hope you sleep well tonight and have a bit more energy for the day.

Doodle I don't know everyone very well. But I can't think of any reason you should apologise or feel bad in any way. So don't. x

DH is trying to move from one mec to another for his RLS Wyllow thanks for asking. The one he’s on causes augmentation which is the worsening of symptoms over time. This is what has happened to him and he’s trying to get into one that doesn’t cause it.
Ellie Anne you are a very kind person. You have certainly been supportive and nice to others. Are you seeing your grandchildren this week?

HVDY I’ve tried to PM you too. I hate to think my selfishness caused you to leave. We miss you already. Please come back even if it’s under a different name (as long as we know it’s you)

Hello all.

I see no faults nor blame, but perhaps some awful misunderstandings after a long history of BD threads. (which I'm not party to as recent) With MH stuff its so easy to think, “its me, my fault” and self blame or even self hate.

Yes I've gone through the see-saw of the was it me's, the fear of losing BD's at a bad time (on a thread where there aren't a lot of good times, other wise we wouldn't be here).

I was wondering about MrD's RLS as it was so bad before and Sweetpeasue how you are after the dust has settled from yesterday

Glad to see you back in Doodle, HVDY have tried to PM: good to hear from Allsorts and GSM, “Ellie Anne* and joanne, rafichagran and whiff* and I’m sure others reading.

Hope to see things settle and all back, when it’s right. Let love be stronger than the pain our minds let it.

Just had a daytime dream which was horrible and so real! In search of some light TV

xxx all.

HVDY If you dont come back I must seriously consider leaving myself. I cant contact you because I didnt write the email down. Please get in touch. It will be in complete confidence I assure you.

Hvdy I don’t know if you will see this but please don’t go. I love hearing about your family your son’s grandchildren and the baby on the way.
This is all so horrible and I haven’t a clue what it’s all about.

Doodle- you are the kindest most thoughtful person and never ever put yourself first . So glad you are staying but please rest when you are tired and know how much you are thought of. Xx

Thank you Allsorts and GSM I’m back now. I will keep posting I never meant to upset anyone and I am deeply sorry if we’ve lost HVDY . So many of us are hoping she’ll come back.
You’ve all been more kind than I deserve x

Doodle please look after yourself, you have so much to cope with and you need to concentrate on you and your husband. I have always found you kind. Look forward to seeing you back when you feel up to it.

Doodle, you have not been selfish and you need nobody’s forgiveness. Please just look after yourself and Mr D. Knowing you are there is enough. I’m so glad not to be losing you forever.

Doodle whatever it is supposed to be that youve done it could never be without great thought for others.
You are so NOT selfish at all. I feel sorry that you give so much to this thread, at all hours, often after full days and no one must stop you from having that rest by our own needs.
I cant believe you have done anything wrong at all.

Dear All

I owe you all a big apology. I was upset and decided the best thing was to leave Black Dog. I didn’t think for one minute it would have these repercussions nor that I would cause upset to so many on the thread. In fact that was the total opposite of what I wanted to do.

It hurts to hear Ellie Anne is sad, it hurts to hear HVDY leaving the thread. I feel very guilty and ashamed that I’ve hurt so many that I care for. I need to own up and say I thought of myself and didn’t realise the impact it might have on others in the group if I decided to leave. Please forgive me.

I don’t like people who say they are leaving a thread and flounce off because of some imagined slight. That is not what I intended. I am truly and deeply sorry to all I have upset by just thinking of myself.

I’m NOT going to have a break. I can’t just contribute to the chaos we’ve had recently and then stop posting. I am sorry from the bottom of my heart.

Dear HVDY I have tried to PM you and it’s not going through. I’m afraid you have already left and it’s too late but if by any chance you are still reading, please come back to this little group that needs you.

I will be posting today and going forward. I’m so sorry for the upset my selfishness has caused. I never meant to hurt any of you. xx

Honestly what on earth is going on here? HVDY please do NOT go. This whole thing is ridiculous. Your posts are refreshing and uplifting. I know you dont always feel 'on top' but you are an amazing support to us all.

Yes HVDY please don’t goxxx

HVDY please don’t go. x

The trouble is, HVDY, one cannot say exactly what has caused upset without fear of a ban. The rules have to be adhered to. I sincerely hope you don’t leave too.