Black Dog 15

I just need a good old grumble really. Got out of home sludge to a cafe.

Nadateturbe it’s because the colonoscopy is for cancer I’m fretting. I don’t normally get thrown by tests. I do have to sort pain relief as had three bowel ops down the tum so loads of adhesions: the consultant warned me: and their normal pain and sedative relief are meds I am already on therefore a bit more will not do the job.

But really it’s part of a. Offer picture: 20 years with mental health, in the early days inpatient and suicide stuff: being alone after abusing marriage and learning how to do that: constant tiredness etc.

Mostly I keep a reasonably even keel relatively as I have lovely blessings in my life like family, my relationship with them is better now than for years enough to live on run a car, quiet house, but my difficulties going outside alone frustrate me on a sunny day.
End of moan, had to get it off chest x

I also find it comforting being called my love . I suppose compared to some I’m a fairly recent black dog person so I am not aware of change. All I know is that people are kind and helpful and I find listening to other people’s ups and downs interesting.
Annie I hope you’re getting everything sorted out in your room.
I haven’t seen or heard from the unpleasant lady again.

Wyllow3, sorry, I was trying to be helpful. I didn't know your history. It's difficult not to be anxious, especially when there is a chance of something serious being wrong.
I and my sister are both waiting for tests/results. And my M.E. is causing so many other problems at the minute. So I know a little of how you feel. But I know you are coping with much more.
It's very difficult and counting your blessings doesn't always help. I hope talking to your son helps. I haven't told my DD as she is coping with a MiL who is very ill with dementia.
Life is such a trial sometimes, and you just want to scream.
I can't offer help, just wanted to sympathise and let you know I will be thinking about you.

Bless you nadateturbe scream yes or have a good cry! Hope your and sis results are as positive as they can be xx if they are tough.

Is sat listening to the news in the car (we're not in Syria!..) then just drove out to a beautiful spot little walk. That is ginormas. Note to self etc.

Ellie Anne I'm glad you haven't had to encounter her.

That's fantastic Wyllow3. Well done!

Hope your colonoscopy goes well Wyllow I have had three. Take care of yourself.
Can you have a general anaesthetic?

Doodle Hope you are ok today and your DH. He's been through absolutely everything hasnt he, poor man. Hope the RLS doesnt keep him awake too much tonight.
HVDY I hope your husband gets that awful cough managed soon. The inhaler doesn't appear to be helping, would a different type help him any? When is it you see your clients this week? Sorry, sure youve already said but my memorys all over the place.
Wyllow Hope that walk was enjoyable. You did well there. Im so pleased your Quaker friend is able to take you to hospital.
Rafichagran and*Nadateturbe * Lovely of you both to help Wyllow with your reassurances. Really sorry to hear that your ME has been particularly bad Nadateturbe. Im sure the stress with everything will make that worse. You and Wyllow have the 2 conditions in common.

Been a bad day with constant bowel prob so hope its better tomorrow. Poor husband very tired today. I just wanted him to rest as he's doing. I wish things would go right for once.

Love to everyone on BD here or not posting. X

Wyllow Hope all goes well with the colonoscopy. You're bound to be a bit anxious. Have you had one before? It's been good weather for getting out.

nadateturbe I hope the results for both you and your sister come back ok. Is M.E. anything like Fibromyalgia? (My eldest son has that)

EllieAnne Glad you haven't encountered that woman again. Perhaps she won't go to that church any more. How was your weekend?

Doodle How have you and your husband been today? Did you manage to get out?

SweetpeaSue I'll be thinking of you and your husband tomorrow. Hope all goes well with his appointment.

I'm quite concerned about my husband (he didn't go to work so has been off a week) and probably won't go all week. Hope everyone on BD has a relaxing evening x

rafichagran

Hope your colonoscopy goes well Wyllow I have had three. Take care of yourself.
Can you have a general anaesthetic?

rafichagran I dont know, I would think only exceptional circs like someone too disturbed to understand my guess?

Ellie Anne I’m so please you haven’t had any more bother from that woman at church. Hope things have settled down now. Hope your DD is doing ok.
Wyllow do you think they will give you extra meds if they think there could be any pain or discomfort?
Your walk sounds good. We went out today for a walk too. It was a beautiful afternoon. Not chilly at all and we had a lovely walk by the river.
nadateturbe I didn’t know you were waiting for results. It’s always an anxious time. Shame you can’t share with your DD but we are all the same us mums trying to protect our children even when they’re grown up. Must be worrying for your sister too. Hope all is well.
Sweetpeasue thank you. We enjoyed a nice walk today.
DH is trying to come off some of his meds so it’s a bit hit and Miss whether he has a good night or not but he will persevere.
You must be worried about your DH which might be adding to your bowel problems. Good he’s resting. Hope he gets on ok tomorrow.
HVDY I’m sorry your DH isn’t any better. It is worrying isn’t it. I’ve arranged for the asthma nurse to phone DH on Wednesday about his cough.
Are you at work tomorrow?
Scaredycat hope you got through the weekend ok. x

Evening all, I haven’t been on for a few days but have finally had the time to catch up. Sorry for not replying to all personally but I keep myself very busy (almost too busy really) to distract myself from MH issues. I work full days on a monday\Tuesday, so long days. I’m sorry that some on the thread are unhappy with the way it’s evolved but hope that it can continue to be a help to all on it. It’s certainly been a great help to me and I’ve had a lot of comfort from it. Thinking of all those who have physical health issues to cope with and hope they are resolved very soon. Thinking of you all and hope you have a peaceful night. xxxx

And you, Candy. It's hard to get the balance right between distraction and "enough time to think but not over think" isn't it. Hoping that soon you'll notice a difference due to your new meds.

Will see you when you are ready to come in, Scaredycat.

Hmm, Mr HV isnt getting better is he, HVDY. Hope you see some improvement (or find out "whats up" soon.)

Early days Doodle after the change of meds but so hoping you'll both have better nights soon ( and less RLS?)

I guess its been a bad day for you Sweetpeasue with tomorrow coming up, you can do it xxxx and let us know how it goes.

Best wishes for all BD's present, and reading x

I've had a reading and music evening and haven't rung DS as wanted some no contact/make an effort time and needed to catch up on admin.

Thank you Sweetpeasue Doodle and HVDY for your kind words.
I will post properly in the morning. (and answer your query HVDY). I've used all my energy doing Octordle to distract my mind. I love puzzles.
Thinking of you all and hoping and praying that you have a peaceful night.

SweetpeaSue I think the GP is likely to give my husband a different inhaler. He really needs a proper diagnosis - he hasn't got Asthma, I know what that's like as I have it and son2 has had it since he was a baby (he's almost 39). Best of luck for your husband's appointment today.

Doodle I'm going to go with my husband to the GP appt on Fri. I'll ask for lung function tests to be done. I hope your DH gets sorted out with his Asthma. Off to "work" in a minute.

Candy6 You do well to keep so busy but you must get tired. As Wyllow says, it's about finding the balance. I've just started a (very) small job, just 5 hours, twice a week, to give me something worthwhile to do

Wyllow Reading and listening to music is a lovely way to spend the evening.

Hope all BDers manage to have a decent day. I'll be thinking especially of those with appointments/medical worries. x

nadateturbe well done on the word game, I stick to limericks!

Best wishes for todays appointment, Sweetpeasue

~~~~~~~~~~~ warm wave to all back later.

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Germanshepherdsmum

Annie often calls people ‘my love’. I always found it comforting, never patronising.

Neither do I, why get irked? Reginal differences in speech are quite common, I have a friend that will call me Hen, she was from Glasgow.
Annie come back you are missed.

Good afternon everyone.
I can't comment properly on everyone's posts as I don't know the background. Also I find it hard to read posts every day.
You have mostly been on BD thread a long time and "know" each other well. just like friends in RL. But I do care.

And I do understand that you all have problems, physical problems can affect mental health too. I have suffered from M.E. a long time and it is unbelievable how it can impact your life. There is no cure and very little that helps. And so many symptoms needing checked in case it's something serious. Not good for someone who's always been anxious about health. (A psychiatrist once told me age 25, that what I wanted was a zip down the front of my body so I could keep opening it and check everything was ok. lol.) I mostly have adjusted, but honestly sometimes I can't cope. And when you add physical problems to it, it can just become a bit much. And you wonder how long?? There. I've got it off my chest. I feel better for sharing it, it passes and I just get on with life.
Please don't comment, some of you are suffering very badly, and coping with ill partners. And my heart goes out to you.
HVDY Fibromyalgia and M.E./CFS are often linked. They are both autoimmune illnesses. I have both, but I seem to have more control over the fibro atm (fingers crossed). It can be extremely painful. I know some who are on massive doses of painkillers. I do hope your son isn't like that.
Wyllow3 a friend has regular colonoscopies and always has a general anaesthetic. He has no special circumstances except he can't take the pain. He had a bowel tumor removed a few years ago and is grand. I guess I am lucky needing nothing.

Sweetpeasue good post Monday 00.05.50

Thinking of those of you with husbands who are ill, and hoping your day is ok, and your husbands get some help.

HVDY it's great that you are happier, and it's nice to hear good news. I'm sure everyone is pleased when someone has something good to share . And it gives others hope.

nadateturbe you put that so very well. The inseparability of mental and physical health. How the dynamic between the two bounces back and forth.
My offer of a lift to the procedure has not followed up, so I spent a lot of a counselling session on anxiety about asking for help and fear of rejection (big time, long term!)....Not adjusted yet from being a "gran who's there for them" gran to the first of family parents and aunties generation (ie, mine) to be needy.
Back later, hoping to sort/pluck up courage to sort...

Just in waiting room waiting for DH. He's having MRI on head. Sorry but Im shaking. How unkind some can be. Thankyou for the kind words said.

nadateturde any physical condition can impact on mental health but I think mental health problems can impact on physical health to.

M E is misunderstood. When it first was noticed it was called yuppie flu. Which belittled what people where suffering and doctors dismissed it causing many people to suffer in silence for fear of not being believed. Thankfully doctors do diagnosis it but it it's not simple as some people think. They only think it's exhaustion they don't realise all the physical problems it's causes.

By people not being believed for years any physical condition can effect your my mental health.

I suppose my own mental health has been effected to a degree. I have had pains in my legs since a child it was dismissed as growing pains and when I kept falling I was clumsy. Even when I was 19 I was dismissed as clumsy ,growing pains,time of the month,age and because I was overweight.

My health got worse and started with limb jerks when my children were 4 and 6 months . 2 months later in hospital for 3 weeks due to pain. This was 1988 not allowed to see the children. Saw different consultants in various fields . Saw my first neurologist in 1992. He did all the tests available at the time and could tell me what wasn't wrong but not was . Next time I saw a neurologist was 2017. Lot happened in those years.

Finally last year had my diagnosis thanks to my moving and having a new neurologist. I was born with hereditary Hyperekplexia gene mutation SLC6A5. HPX is rare but if you read the definition it calls it a startle reflex but it's so much more complicated than that. It can only be diagnosed by genetic blood testing thankfully my neurologist had my whole genome done . I also found it in 2020 I was born with a hole in my heart. I am 64 .

People dismiss and belittle things they don't understand or ever heard of . DWP are very guilty of that . I have been fighting for 35 years to get benefits and was always told no diagnosis not money. I have a diagnosis and was turned for PIP,MRN and now waiting for a tribunal date. Only thanks to the Brain Charity I can go to tribunal as there is no way I could afford the solicitor they got me.

My whole life has been effected by the HPX and the list of things I can no longer physically can do only gets longer as I age. Money worries are causing me a lot of stress and upset.

No idea where I am going with this but it's my own believe physical and mental health go hand in hand. Probably wrong but it's how I see it but that's my own take on things.

As per usual never know if I make sense. 🤷

Sweetpeasue I have had many head MRI's at least they don't put a cage over your head like my first one in 1988. If there is anything to find the MRI will show it they are very clear and can look further into the brain than even 5 years ago. MRI machines I find scary but still go into them. They are the best diagnosis tool for your husband. The unknown is always worse than knowing what is wrong. You can cope if you have a diagnosis and get the help you need. 💐

Thankyou Whiff.

Sweet pea sue I hope all is well.

nadateturbe Thank you for you kind words. I don't mean to come across as bragging when I post things about my life, my day-to-day things (and I'm sorry if anyone feels I'm doing so). I suppose I'm just so glad to have made such a marvellous recovery from my stroke (5 clots in 3 areas of my brain) 18 months ago. I'm about 90% back to what I was, which I'm thankful for. Thanks for the info about M.E etc. My son is 41, manages the Fibro without any prescription painkillers, at the moment.

Wyllow3 I hope you can get a lift to your appointment. Things aren't quite as scary if someone is there. If I lived near, I'd help you any time.

Whiff Gosh, you've had (and still have) such a lot to cope with. It's true that some people and/or organisations are quick to dismiss things they don't understand. I hope you have some luck in getting financial help, re PIP etc. You make perfect sense.

SweetpeaSue The very best of luck for your husband. MRIs are very loud and can be a bit scary at first, but they're the best way of finding out things wrong with the brain (I've had 4) Hope all goes well.

Well, it's been a good day. I went to work (it's good to feel I can be useful to someone). Hope everyone's day has been alright x