Black DOG 13

HVDY I missed your post earlier. What exciting news. That’s wonderful. Thank you for sharing it with us. You must be so pleased.
Wyllow what a good idea to Marshall your thoughts about discharge and make a case for yourself. If they would just leave the door open for you I’m sure that would make a difference.
Take care all and sleep peacefully x

Well I wrote the stuff for me not sure how much will get out but -anyway it got my mind moving and I did the good stuff I was talking about tho one bit was on the divorce so triggers.

But anyway got in a good space then Up comes one of my self destruct party tricks - yes, feel guilty for feeling good for a start beat myself up/then the dark things lurked....yup, hard work being a BD when I'm doing the right things but got a part-working self hurt button. Which is better than the periods of full hurt button anyway the new abuse counselling starts in a timely way on Tuesday -thank goodness I sorted THAT out in a very fortunate moment (the urge, the availability, AND doing it before I had the "Care Review".

Anyone else got the "get good feelings have to spoil them stuff?"

Hello all on BD, how are you all this morning? It's grey here but I'm not going to let that spoil my buoyant mood. DH is helping Son1 fit a new stereo into his car. I've been doing the usual stuff indoors. Mr Cooper has gained 1lb. Hope everyone manages to have a decent day x

Sounds good for MrC there HVDY. We have sun!

Rubbish night but got myself to gather and...wait...got back on my bike first time alone since split up..... and after heaving myself up a modest hill/wooded trail ("Flat" doesn't exist round here) had a coffee and did a spot of treat foodie shopping. Expect visit of BD later but this time I think I won't bury that it was a good "thing".

Annie, aware that you haven't been in since the bed move. Hope you are OK xx.

HVDY- Such good news about both your sons!! A great new start for Son1 - the house sounds perfect.

A new Grandchild from Son2 - congratulations.
Even Mr C is gaining weight- I feel really really pleased for you.
Doodle- yes it was a very sad day . So hard for my DH friend as he had lost his first wife to illness too. Can’t bear to see a lovely family in such pain. Slept ok thank you despite so much going on on my head!
Hope you are both having a pleasant day- well done with the exercise bike too.
Wyllow- that bike ride sounds great. I used to love that but had to get off for hills!! Hope you got some nice treats - you,d earned them? BD might not visit you at all . Think of the lovely day you,ve had and tell him to take a hike.
SweetPeaSue- hope you had a better night . Thank you for your kind words
EllieAnne- think it’s time you just did things that make you happy. Every time you get a knock back it destroys your confidence more. Hope your family are recovering well and that soon you can get to see them.
Annie- hope you,re ok and it’s just those dratted gremlins why we haven’t heard from you. Xxxx
Love to all BDG

ScaredyCat Thank you. Things are going very well here, and it's good all round, at the moment. x

Hi ScaredyCat of the sleep despite all and HVDY a good day.
I haven't rubbished the bike ride. (or the crocus's I planted) When I came up for a rest anxiety gripped me and its the possible Discharge cut off from care that cant be reasoned with. Even with extra meds. Its like something lying in wait once I stop. But....I am a far wiser old bird than when it happened to me with no warning at all in 2017, and will find a way through.

Wyllow so glad you’ve got the counselling on Tuesday.
Hang on to the good feelings you deserve them. I can sink into a really sad place at the drop of a hat if I allow myself to dwell in bad things past.
Wow you really did a proper bike ride. Well done. Hope you can get in a positive mood and stay there. Your body and mind need a rest. ?
HVDY good news about Mr Cooper. You sound in such a happy mood no wonder with your good news. Have a good day.
Scaredycat DH and I went for a walk today. After the exercise bike it was so hard to put one foot in front of the other. Everything aches. It’s my own fault through lack of exercise. I am determined to continue. Just as small amount each day until my body gets used to it. Hope you had a good day .
Sweetpeasue hope you had a peaceful pain free night.
Annie I’m a bit worried that you are not in a good way at the moment. What with the 21st and your bed move. I know things aren’t as you’d wanted them to be. I do hope you're ok.
Sending a big cwtch your way tonight x

Well done to Doodle for going the extra kilometre.. day by day....

and love to all BD's for best nights possible

and more thoughts for you Annie

Hope you are ok Annie.,must have been very upsetting all that going on at night. Do hope your bed is sorted.
It’s strange how one minutes you can feel quite happy and then suddenly your world collapses into despair and depression has you in its grip.

Allsorts ain't that the truth, take care now.

Arthritis raging through all joints, very painful to use iPad

Love

Annie x

Doodle Hope your aches and pains are easier.
Wyllow3 You're much stronger than you think.
Anniebach Hope you're ok.

It's a dark and wet morning. I've been up since 6, making a list of what Son1 will need in his house - everything. He's got 3 sets of drawers, a TV, a bed, bunk beds, and wardrobe for his girls, some saucepans and his own laptops, a computer, and a stereo. That's it. We're going to help him a lot, by transferring him some money and also by buying all the little things like crockery, cutlery, towels, etc. We'll treat Son2 too. We'll have no savings left (ah well, it'll be worth it). Hope everyone manages to have a decent day x

Congratulations on the baby news Hvdy. Annie so sorry you are in such pain.

Anniebach only just noticed your post. I've heard some people say that rain/cold weather makes Arthritis worse. Not nice.

Annie sorry you are in such pain. You are a amazing lady and have a strong faith, I dont know how you do it, I know how strong you are, I get hateful on my bad days to my shame.
Get well soon, I cannot say you are in my prayers as I do not pray, but you are in my thoughts. Hope everyone is having the best day they can.

Oh Annie I’m so sorry. Thank you for letting us know. We are all worried about you. Your iPad is such a source of interest and contact for you I hope you are managing.
Holding you in my prayers. Much love x
HVDY lovely making plans for your sons. I’m sure they will appreciate all you have done for them.
Allsorts and rafichagran nice of you to pop in with kind words and thoughts. Hope you are both ok too.

Annie I'm so sorry you're having such a bad time with the pain in your joints. You have so much to cope with. I hope if you're taking medication it will help a little. You need your IPad to communicate-it must be so difficult.. Hope it improves soon. X

HVDY- its so good to hear the about the plans to help your sons and to feel how happy it is making you. You will enjoy chosing some nice things for the new house too. What a lovely Mum and Dad you are.
Annie- so sorry you are suffering so much at the moment. You need the contact that the iPad gives you - I do hope the pain lessens soon. Thinking of you and sending a hug.
Doodle- hope the aches have eased a bit today - as you say each day will get a little easier as your body adjusts . We had a big thunderstorm this morning and afterwards I went for a walk with my daughter. Then the rain started in earnest!!!!!! Got a bit wet?
Rafichagran and Allsorts - hello and thank you for kind thoughts.
Wyllow,EllieAnne,SweetPeaSue, VioletSky,Whiff and all BD hope you Sunday is treating you kindlyxx

Hello all. We’ve had such thunder here today. I thought it was a motorcycle gang Erving up in the car park. Torrential rain too. Nice to be snug and warm inside.
Been painting today completely unsuccessfully. I have no talent what so ever ?
Scaredycat not been walking today because of the weather. Going to ride bike later. Everything is still aching.
Annie do hope you are feeling a bit better. Hope you are in touch with your GP. Much love.
Hope all the gang are ok

It's been raining almost all day here. DH, Son1 and I went for a pub lunch, then to another pub that has lots of craft beers - some very unusual - so they enjoyed that, and I drove. DH won £210 on 2x£5 scratchcards, so that was good . I hope everyone is ok and keeping warm. x

Aw Annie I'm so dreadfully sorry, but relieved you have popped your head round the door xx

rafichagran nice to "meet" you.

HVDY of course you want to make things the very best they can be for them.

Doodle I bet your painting is really interesting, whatever you think of it. Take it from me, I've studied and taught it in the past.

Love to all BD's. Quakers was nice, I got a sleep without extra meds, and I've done 4 hours difficult admin so much better day.

How has everyone been today? I've been faffing about at home all day - sorting out the GDs clothes and getting rid of stuff that doesn't fit. My CBT counsellor last Friday mentioned *affirmation exercises" but then forgot to email them to me. Has anyone on here tried it/them? I've downloaded some worksheets I found online but don't know if I'm doing the correct thing.

Anniebach, SweetpeaSue, EllieAnne, Doodle, ScaredyCat, Whiff, anyone I've missed - hope you're all ok. Whyllow3 Best of luck with the abuse counselling tomorrow.

HVDY- I just had a look to see what affirmation exercises are. Seems like either writing down maybe positive lists about for example your physical or mental state or verbalising them or post it notes even a journal. Is that right?
It’s useful faffing you,ve done today - you are so good at finding lots to do.
I,ve helped my friend who,s just had a hip replacement . I picked her up from hospital then took her to the supermarket and then home. After tea and cake went home and posted some letters for her. So nice to be able to help as her husband isn’t allowed to drive at the moment.
Then we picked up our meds and for the first time in ages they had everything correct. I have an intolerance to a common ingredient in meds so have to be careful. So a good day.
Wyllow- hope the counselling goes well tomorrow.
Annie- thinking of you and hope you have something to help you with the pain.Will be so glad when we hear from you again. Xxxx
Doodle,SweetPeaSue,EllieAnne,Whiff,VioletSky wishing you a peaceful night