Mums small bleed on the brain

I haven’t any experience or advice to offer but didn’t want to pass by without saying I’m so sorry and hope all will be well with Mum. She’s in the best place. Look after yourself.?

I don’t have any experience either, but it sounds as though she hasn’t broken any bones which is a plus, I’m sure you will know more when the Consultant has been around and how it will affect her if she is able to go back home.

How is she feeling? Hope she gets better soon.

The same here not familiar with this but hope your mum makes a speedy recovery. In the mean time you need to look after yourself too.

Hi Katyj,
First of all , I'm very sorry that your mother has had a fall and small bleed on the brain .

Did the Dr call it a TIA ?
A transient ischaemiac attack ?
If he did there's a big difference between a TIA and a stroke .

My grandmother had so many TIAs that we lost count . She recovered fully after each one -back to cooking and gardening plus going to church without a problem .
I had one when pregnant and recovered after a week .
Don't get too stressed until you get a full diagnosis .
I'm hoping that she's going to make a full recovery .
It's great that no bones are broken .
Take care of yourself .

Yes I’ve had experience of this Katy. My mother fell when she was 93 and sustained two small bleeds to the brain. She was on blood thinners but is no longer allowed to take them. She was discharged home (having contracted Covid in the hospital) and after that she needed help. Bear in mind that she was gradually deteriorating due to her age anyway at that stage, She had carers in four times a day for about three months, provided by the health authority. When the free care ended she didn’t want to pay, but she needed help, and she eventually agreed to have one carer a day. I did all her washing and shopping as she was unable to do it herself. She had another fall, no injuries, during this time, and then a further fall and hospital admittance six months after the first. She had broken her shoulder. She had two weeks in hospital and was then discharged into a care home at the expense of the health authority. She stayed there to recover for three months. She was then ready to be discharged but in no way was she able to go back to her home, and so we found another care home for her where she now lives and she funds herself. Unfortunately since then she has deteriorated further, and is now no longer mobile. They use a hoist to get her into and out of bed as she can’t stand up and bear her own weight. She’s starting to become quite confused now and she sleeps a lot. That is where we are.
I’m sorry that I can’t give you good news, but it doesn’t mean your mother will deteriorate like mine did following her fall. Your mother is younger than mine. My mother is 94 and a half years old now. Everyone is different and responds differently.

I am sorry to hear about your mother.
I had a subarachnoid haemorrhage in 2005 when I was 59. It was congenital, caused by a burst blood vessel. My GP diagnosed a bleed and I went to hospital where I had a lumber puncture which I was warned would be painful but wasn't, and confirmed his diagnosis. I spent eleven days in hospital but it healed naturally, plenty of rest and fluids, and touch wood I made a good recovery and was able to return to work. I had two angiograms in hospital , which proved I had a brain ,and more importantly, no damage done.
I hope your mother recovers; if she hasn't damaged her skull she shouldn't need surgery, just plenty of rest and care.

ps, I had a CT scan which showed nothing, but the lumber puncture did, so important she has one.

Hi. Thank you all so much for your good wishes. This seems the final straw, to be honest, don’t know wether I’m coming or going. She’s been hospitalised 9 times over the past 2.6 years she’s also had two heart attacks in the last 6 months. Covid and
a broken hip.
The bleed is due to the bump on her head where she fell. She’s to have a lumber puncture at some point. They have reduced her blood thinners, but with her heart being weak, I suppose she’ll still need them .
Maddyone. You seem to have had similar struggles to me, I was wondering how you were getting on with your mum. Did you find out why she was falling ? My mum just seems to fall, no notice then comes around, nobody seems to know why.
She has carers 3 times a day at the moment, but don’t think this is going to work now, she really needs a care home. She don’t agree to this though. She certainly won’t be able to go back to her 1st floor flat, it’s a death trap !
I’ll just have to take each day as it comes. She’s been in since Thursday and they haven’t attempted to get her out of bed yet. She’s very weak.
I need to try and relax a bit it’s all I can think about at the mo, an only one too ?

She is the best place, in hospital, where I expect she is made to lie flat and little movement, and she will be monitored constantly. She does need a care home, and may agree after this latest fall and its consequences.
I do sympathise, but there is little you can do at the moment, so do try and relax, knowing she is safe and cared for and not in pain.

Oh Katy I do understand. The stress of it all never goes away. I do feel for you at this very difficult time. I suggest you go and look at a few care homes (some are awful) and decide on one or even two. If you can take her to visit it would be nice, but if not, we set up a FaceTime viewing, and the lovely admittance lady took us round via her iPad and interacted with mum by chatting away all the time. Mum had been as difficult as she knew how about demanding an actual visit, but we knew this was impossible as at that point she couldn’t get into and out of cars (of course she said she could, but she couldn’t) and could barely walk. Anyway she agreed to go there, and there she is. Still being her usual difficult self, but that’s just her. If your mother can’t cope with three carer visits a day, then she does need a care home. Be proactive and go and see some to start the ball rolling.

It’s possible that the hospital may discharge her into a care home, and that would be funded for a certain recovery period. You could enquire about that whilst she’s in hospital. She won’t be able to be discharged without an adequate care package anyway. And in the meantime visit a few care homes in preparation for when she needs to self fund.
It’s such a stressful time, I do feel for you

Thank you ladies. It’s lovely having someone to talk to. It’s a difficult thing to understand unless you’ve been through something similar.
It’s a good idea to start looking at some care homes, although it fills me with dread it’ll have to be done. I really don’t think she’ll be able to manage now. I’ll be back to let you know how we get on. ?

Just an additional thought, when we moved mum to the care home where she now lives, we hired a special type of taxi that can carry a wheelchair. She only needed to get into the wheelchair ready to travel, and out of it at the other end. At that point she could still manage that but now a hoist has to be used. The wheelchair goes into the taxi and is secured for safety. You need to book a few days or a couple of weeks in advance though. Hope that’s helpful. If she can still get in a car safely she can go with you in your car.

Thank you Maddy. We may need that info. Just been to see mum, she’s still saying she can’t walk. She has a headache and confused. Have to see what tomorrow brings ?

Hi. A little update.The Dr saw mum yesterday apparently she’s making a reasonable recovery so far. The bleed on her brain is stable although she’s a bit confused still and has headache.
She’s absolutely black and blue, especially her back which seems to have taken the brunt of her fall. She can’t walk yet so their sending her to a rehabilitation ward/ hospital whenever a bed becomes available. She has been in 3 of these in the last two years and hated it every time, but there’s no other choice at the moment ?
When she’s moved she’ll be assigned a social worker, there’s currently a 3 week waiting list, so I’m thinking it’s going to be a while.
I’ve told the discharge team I think she really needs a care home now, but she’s still able to make her own decisions so that won’t happen. Anyway I’m following the care home thread at the mo just in case.

Thanks for the update Katyj - I have been reading about your mum - hope you manage to sort things out for your dear mum …

Thank you for the update Katy. You will have a little breathing space now as your mum will probably stay in the rehabilitation ward for a few weeks. Could you take this time to visit a few care homes in the area? It would give you an idea and you could possibly take your mum to see nice ones when she’s a bit more recovered. If not you could get the homes to do a FaceTime or video tour, that’s what we did for mum.
At the end of the day if your mum totally refuses to go and says she’s going home, you’re in a difficult position. I really hope it doesn’t come to that for you. This whole situation is so very stressful for the family

They will assess your mother in the rehabilitation ward to see if she is able to live independently and at present it doesn't sound as though she is physically capable, however clear her mental faculties are. But very distressing for you.

Thank you. Yes I’ll look at a few homes, it’ll give me an idea what to expect as this is all new to me. Your right in that it’s so stressful, I’m walking around in a daze, keep forgetting things and generally miserable. Poor DH.

Hi. Little update. Mum still in hospital awaiting a rehabilitation bed. They found one for her last Monday but then they realised her bp wasn’t stable enough. Yesterday she had more chest pain, they did an ECG but deemed it to be normal, although I did explain to them that her last two heart attacks didn’t show on the ECG only by the hospital blood tests.
She is walking with her frame to the toilet once a day, although she feels dizzy and unwell ! As you can imagine I’m not happy about this and will be speaking to someone ASAP.
She seemed very tired yesterday, I think she’s giving up. The physio has said she’s not engaging with them and has refused to get out of bed for 3 days now. When I asked mum about it she said she can’t be bothered.
Have to see what today brings it’s over two weeks now. It’s very waring going to the hospital, and not knowing what to expect I can’t sleep thinking the phone is going to ring. Just glad that at least she’s not in pain.

I’m so sorry Katy, it’s such a difficult time for you. I know it’s pointless to say don’t worry because you will worry. You’re absolutely right, it’s very tiring and stressful visiting an elderly parent, not knowing what to expect or how long the situation is going to go on.
I’ll just send you some and wish you some peace. Try to look after yourself as well as your mum. Keep us updated, and come back to the thread if you’re feeling stressed.

Thank you Maddy. It helps to write on here to connect with you and others. Not just me struggling I’m sure. I know of some of your problems with your mum. Hope we can all find some peace and strength to see us through