BLACK DOG 8

Hi all x

I think I have a positive. I had a list of places where I wanted to
go when I beat the agoraphobia. Because my recovery plans
were stopped because of the lockdown I gave up thinking about it.

Yesterday evening I watched ‘Who Do You Think You Are? ‘

Much filming was of my beloved New Quay, Cardiganshire,
I saw the village, the road where we use to book a holiday let,
the Quay where we use to spend much time on watching the
dolphins.

I want to go there again so much and with my mini tornado so she can walk the Quay as her mother, grandparents and
great grandparents did .

I have started my recovery list again

BlueSky those appointments were for March this year then
came the lockdown, they will not make home visits, I was to
see the consultant re the arthritis, can only see him now if I
travel to the next county, think about 40 miles ! Can’t do that on my own , the three local charities who accompany those who have to go on their own for appointments only take
telephone calls, they work from home still .

Have to accept it but oh I need new specs

Nonnie Good to hear you you soundIng chirpy today.
You were busy with your extra hour. I used it for sleeping ?
Your idea do a list of things an architect would put in a house would have me up making a list ?
Bluesky glad you slept better. Once you let your mind take over when you wake up it usually means no more sleep for me. I try not to let my mind wander if I’m tired.
Enjoy your walk.
chrissy for those of us who worry, I think overthinking things or ruminating on them is one of our biggest problems. The more I worry about things, the more things I think of to worry about.
lavender nice to have a chat with your DGD. Sorry your DD is worried about COVID. Hopefully her test will be negative and she can relax a bit. Your little dog sounds lovely and just the perfect companion.
scaredycat a bottle of perfume sounds a nice present. Is it for a friend. It’s my friends birthday soon. We used to meet up every couple of months or so but I haven’t seen her since last year. Is your GD still nursing? I hope she has better protection from COVID now.
Annie not more rain ☔️ ?. Mind you if it’s going to rain I’d rather look at the Welsh mountains than a city street any day.
chrissy we would all be at a loss without Annie to help us out. Now chrissy let’s think logically they would not post all the clear results first and leave the recalls or queries till last. That wouldn’t make sense. Please try not to worry. Even if your glands are swelling up, they will go down again like last time. Mine used to do it all the time. Try and make tomorrow more positive. We are here with you.
Sleep well all x

Evening all x Chrissy I’m sorry you are worried about your mammogram, but I feel the opposite about my results, no news is good news as they say. I’m sure if they wanted to see us urgently they would have done so by now, don’t you think?
Annie shouldn’t your healthcare professionals visit you at home if you can’t go to see them?
Lavender how lovely you have a dog. Did you say he was a rescue? As much as I want one, I understand that it’s a big decision as my DH keeps reminding me.
I’m still ahead with the clocks back, seems much later than it actually is.
I wish you all a peaceful night x

Evening everyone
Annie You do make sense. As others have said, you are so good at explaining things. I just let things snowball, problems get bigger and bigger.
lavenderzen I’m glad that your hip pain isn’t as bad. No results yet and with every day that passes my fear grows. How lovely that your granddaughter phoned. Sorry to hear that 2 of your daughter’s work colleagues have tested positive, fingers crossed that your daughter will test negative. Your little dog sounds like a real character and obviously brings you joy.
Scaredycat another one with a packed diary I didn’t realise that your GD was a nurse, what a difficult job she has with things the way they are, you must be very proud of her.

I’m not doing well at all today. I was telling myself that no news is good news, that they probably deal with the abnormal mammogram results first. Then my thoughts flipped and I’ve been thinking that they might deal with the all clear ones first. I’m trying to keep my my thoughts in the present but it’s not working. Added to that I think that my glands might be swollen again. All in all a pretty rubbish day.

Have a good evening everyone and sleep well x

nonnie much more in my diary, physiotherapist, dietician,
optician, but all for March and cancelled, x

BlueSky those thoughts on waking in the morning ? Me too x

Chrissy it’s the thoughts with the first fear which kick start the second fear, you can do it x

Doodle need I say - it’s raining in Mid Wales x

lavender why oh why did it have to be your daughter, pray
her test is clear, take care x

Scaredycat yes , our thoughts with the first fear trigger the
second fear, so hard to control those thoughts . Oh those large
boxes for small items, grrrrr, x

Good afternoon everyone
Doodle - good news your DH,s hip is improving . Hope you enjoy your yoghurt. I had a delivery from Boots this morning it was only a bottle of perfume for a present and was in a box big enough to put 30 bottles in!! Thank goodness for recycling bins.
Nonnie - your diary sounds as packed as mine except my only event was podiatrist. Just been there so that’s all the excitement over for this week!!
Bluesky - have a nice walk today you can nip out between the showers. Yes I feel a bit relieved there are no foreign holidays imminent but I have so missed our holidays this year. I love being in new places and seeing beautiful scenery. Let’s hope we can go again someday.
Chrissy - the hygienist is a positive because you are going even though you are nervous. Think how nice it feels when it’s done.
Annie - you are so good at putting feelings into words. The second fear is the one that makes you tremble as you think of everything that could go wrong and off you go - is that right?
Lavender - glad your pain is diminished a little. I hope your daughter is ok and her test results come back ok. What a stressful time for her. My nurse GD had more than one Covid patient cough on her without her mask but did not catch it! The worry seems relentless doesn’t it and the lack of any spontaneity really difficult. Glad you have your furry little friend to make you laugh.
Well it,ll be dark soon so have a nice evening everyone and take care.xxxxx

Doodle glad you DH is improving.

Hi all
Annie so sorry to hear about your day last week, such a lot to cope with in one day xx
How is everyone. My hip pain is a little better today.
Scaredycat so sorry to hear about your mum.
Chrissy did you get your results, I have tried to go back and find if you did, but couldn't find anything (although knowing me I have probably missed it). And Bluesky hope your ultrasound results come soon. Flutterby hope you are feeling better.
Just had a call from my lovely granddaughter, nice to hear her voice, bless her.
Also had another worrying call from my daughter, two of the staff where she is have tested positive for Covid. Daughter is having a test this afternoon. When, oh when will this ever end.
The rain keeps coming and the skies are black.
I can recommend having a dog, my little scamp keeps me occupied, he is a King Charles Spaniel and came to me at 18 months, twelve months ago. We have our walks out, rain or shine and he makes me laugh all the time. He burrows under the rug and makes a tent, he is so funny, such a joy. Every morning he comes on my knee for a cuddle, cupboard love I think when he wants his breakfast.
Well this hour has flumoxed me and him for that matter, but never mind we just get on with it.
Please take care all of you including those I have missed, stay safe and love to all xx

Chrissy everyone has a flash of fear,

Let’s take - a loud bang, we jump, a flash of fear , but it’s what
follows , our thoughts about the loud bang , this is where us with anxiety feed the first fear and we are then in the grip of
the second fear.

Hope this makes sense x

Afternoon everyone
Annie I know you’re right about us having to do our bit and we can’t rely solely on what we are taught during treatment. I suppose that I’m not dealing with it when I have the first fear but am trying to deal with it when the second fear hits me.
Scaredycat Overthinking things is my downfall. My daughter tells me regularly that I am overthinking.
Doodle Glad you have some positives today. Good news about your DH’s hip.
Annie The sun is out today after torrential rain yesterday.
Nonnie Sounds like you were busy yesterday with very positive things. I’ve got an appointment with the hygienist tomorrow. That’s definitely not a positive for me
BlueSky Hope you get your results soon. I’m a bit like your DH in that I’m fed up with doing the same things, going to the same places. I love my holidays abroad and really look forward to them but I definitely wouldn’t consider travelling at the moment. I hope we get away in March but who knows.
Hi to everyone else, I hope that everyone has a good afternoon x

Good morning all....well just! Had lunch already my stomach is still an hour ahead! Showery day with bright sunny breaks just like life! Slept well not sure why at times I don’t, nothing in particular, I wake up uncomfortable early hours, thought it was physical but no, not stomach related, no aches anywhere. And like a lot of you my mind then takes over and goes on overdrive. I will copy some of your coping strategies, thanks. And thank you for your kind words it is really like being with ‘old’ friends on here. No ultrasound results so I’ll probably will have to phone the surgery.
Dentist for me too this week, I’ve been waiting weeks, luckily nothing major. We’ll do our usual walk, DH getting fed up with same things while I’m secretly relieved there’s no trips abroad etc, am I the only one? Have a pleasant afternoon x

Doodle that was a great distraction idea, can't copy it because my sewing is limited to mending and making curtains! Last night I tried alphabet names of things an architect would put in a house, worked quite well.

Lots of positives today. Thanks

Scardycat it must have been so hard to lose your mum like that, something you would never get over. Be kind to yourself. Sounds like our DHs have a similar sense of humour, suspect they are of a similar age and listened to the same radio programmes.

I like the idea of a mental walk round places we love, will try that one. Thanks

Of course it is alright to come on here and say whatever you like BlueSky. The one thing we can be absolutely sure of on this thread is that everyone will support us and nothing else. This is a safe place for us to pour out whatever we want to. I love that you always put a positive spin on things.

We made good use of our extra hour, very busy, lots of outdoor stuff and lots of family video time and WatsApp messages. Didn't even open the laptop!

Today will be catch up time, answering lots of emails and might even get round to doing the filing or not!

The only thing in the diary for this week is the dentist, oh how life has changed!

scaredycat glad you had a better day.
Bluesky and Flutterby hope you slept well,
Hi Annie yes the sun is shining here. The sky is blue. Waitrose are delivering today which is good as I have run out of yoghurt for our breakfast. DH’s hip which has been playing him up seems to be on the mend.
How about everyone else?

Hi all x

How is everyone coping today , any positives ?

It sure has been a long day.
We seem to be like 2,3,4 or more pease in a pod. So many similarities we share.
Night night and God Bless.

Good night all what a long day it has been! x

Evening everybody
Bluesky - you are always so kind and understanding.hope your day has been a good one after your early start.
Chrissy- I,m sure your cousin was very happy to see you.
Annie - like you I wish they,d leave the clocks alone. I found Claire Weekes book Self Help for your nerves did help when I was so scared of the physical feelings I was-experiencing due to anxiety. Hope you have had a good dayx
Doodle- I hope your husband is doing ok and feeling more rested. What a lot of things get done in our heads when we lie awake. At the moment I,m occupied with Xmas shopping !!!
I play the alphabet game and sometimes I go for a mental walk in the places I love. I can sometimes just lay and enjoy being warm and resting though. Today has been ok thank you better than yesterday when I let the sadness of all we have lost since the virus get to me. Doesn,t do any good to overthink everything does it. Hope your day has been an enjoyable one.
Hope you all have a peaceful nightxx

Evening all.
Scaredycat I am sorry about your mum. That must have been very hard for you to cope with. How have you been today?
Flutterby hope you sleep well tonight and no troubling thoughts.
Bluesky we all have times when we are brought low by events or circumstances of our lives but at other times we plod on and things are a bit easier. As long as support and understanding is offered to all, I think that is important.
Chrissy you sound just like me. What a pair ?
Annie you have had a lot to deal with recently. I hope you are ok.
You are so right about us having to do our bit. That’s what I found out when I had CBT and expected attending a course would provide a magic cure.
Take care all and sleep well x

Clair Weekes Books

I read her first book ‘Self Help For Your Nerves’ in the 70’s, and have read much about her work and her views on anxiety
depression etc.

Her last book was written in 1997, ‘Complete Help For Your
Nerves’,

I suggest the latter, she really did so much for so many with
her first book but the last book will be updated,

She always spoke of ‘two fears’, the first fear when we have that
first flash of panic , the second fear is the big problem, it feeds
the first fear and keeps us in a cycle of panic and anxiety.

She explains the physical feelings of a panic , and how to
stop the second fear. There is no miracle cure, but if we follow
her advice and try to do as she says we can recover but we have to do the work.

Rather the same as a physiotherapist showing us which exercises to do, we have to do them . As with many treatments
for mental health illnesses , EFT, EMDR, Acupressure, CBT,
we still have to do our bit.

Learned behaviour can be unlearned

Afternoon everyone
Annie That certainly is a lot to deal with in 3 days, you must feel drained. It shows what a caring person you are and that, despite your own issues, you’re always ready to offer support to the people you care about.
Nonnie We’re still thinking about getting a dog but need to be absolutely sure before we go ahead. My DH isn’t too good in the mornings and I take a while to get going. I love your DH’s suggestion for Christmas
Doodle I’m the same as you, the more I think about things the more bad thoughts come. My problem is that I’m scared not to think of worst case scenarios in case one of them does happen and I’m not prepared for it.
Scaredycat I’m so sorry to hear about what happened to your mum, that must have been very hard for you and your sister to deal with. Yes it was the same cousin. I’m not sure I was the best company. Another great idea for Christmas from your DH
Flutterby Hope you slept well last night. Panic attacks zap your energy.
BlueSky I agree with Annie You’re always giving support to others.
Hi Joce lavenderzen and anyone else I’ve missed.
Hope everyone has a good day or at least a manageable one x

Hi all x

Damn changing the clocks, it helps farmers but not me with
my rigid time table.

BlueSky. It’s not for me to say what can or not be talked about but as I have been with Black Dog from day one, in my
opinion politics , other threads and criticism of any mental
health problems.

What is valued is support, understanding and friendship and you give all three x

Morning all x
Awake at my usual time of 7o’clock which was of course 6 o’clock so tried to stay in bed a bit longer, but had enough by half past. So it’s going to be a long day. Meant to say is it OK to come on here when we are not particularly depressed or anxious? I feel I shouldn’t be chatting away about the central heating or similar.
Hope all of you in pain of any kind will manage a peaceful day x

Just a quick hello and thank you for you kind words about my panic attack (if that was what it was!). Tired tonight so will get back to all you lovely friends soon.
Night night and God Bless x

Hello everyone good to see you all back .
Hi Annie so pleased you are here - we missed you too. Oh your poor nephew as if he didn,t have enough to cope with . He is lucky to have such a wise Auntie though.
Yes your friend will be glad of your support and someone to listen when she feels lonely and sad. You know so well how that feels.
Hope your daughters dog will be ok it’s hard for her to deal with alone.
So sad for your Grandson but he has you and MT who sounds a kind soul to help him. How old is he? My Mum took her life nearly 30 yrs ago and it has been such a hard thing for my sister and I to accept- as you know only too well.
Take care and sending hugs
Bluesky- i think a dog would be wonderful company for you both. It is a big decision though and many things to consider. Watching the dogs on the beach the other day they are so full of the joy of just being alive you can’t help but smile. I love Greyhounds and there are many lovely retired rescue ones. They are very calm and spend a lot of time just chilling.
Flutter by- I hope the Whatifs have calmed down now and you don’t feel so bad. Those panicky feelings are so horrible and leave you feeling very tired. Hope you,ve had a nice relaxing day today.
Lavender I hope your pain has eased today.
Chrissy- enjoy being with your cousin tonight . Is that the one who you talked to the other day when things were getting on top of you? Have a lovely time
Nonnie- yes it’s hard finding positives at the moment but for you seeing friends and family outside again is a definite one. My DH said much the same as yours re Xmas - how about we kill the Turkey then have a funeral for him! Great minds think alike I guess.
Hope everyone has a nice evening xx