BLACK DOG 8

Hello everyone
Annie so sorry to hear about your MT and her boyfriend. Hope the tests come back negative and it is just a bad cold. What a worry.
Quiet day here today, felt tired all day. Fireworks going off every night has upset my little man, hope that's it now and there will be no more.
Seems to be dark and dismal most of the time here, doesn't help the mood.
Take care everyone, stay safe, love to all xx

Mini tornado’s partner tested positive.

Chrissy it was not your fault , try harder ? you went for coffee on your own, they let you sit alone because they didn’t
know you , how thoughtless. Do try again after the lockdown please, don’t give up after one attempt x

May I ask about your OCD ? how many times do you check the door is locked and this seems a daft question but what do
think will happen if you don’t check ?

Annie sorry to hear about your DGD and her partner. Hopefully they’ll soon be over it.
Wishing you all a good night x

Evening everyone, hope you’ve all had a good afternoon.
Doodle I don’t smile at strangers as my lack of self confidence means that I don’t make eye contact with people. I miss going to my local Mind’s drop-ins, I was going every Wednesday. I hope they open up in the not too distant future but probably going to be some time before that happens.
Scaredycat I’m glad that you managed to get your flu jab. I was a forces wife for 22 years.
lavenderzen We’re still getting fireworks going off nearby, had a lot tonight. Our last dog was terrified of fireworks.
Annie I’m so sorry to hear that your MTs partner has tested positive. Has MT had her results? Do they live together? After lockdown I will keep an eye out for groups starting up in my area. It would be a lot easier if everyone was new. My OCD is very hard to explain. Mostly I’ll keep checking doors are locked because maybe I thought they were locked but they actually weren’t so I’ll go back and check, sometimes more than once. Also things in the house have to be just so. I can’t stand it if things like ornaments aren’t straight or cushions aren’t plumped or I haven’t hoovered. My OCD can also cause me to think that something bad will happen to one of my family if I don’t make sure that everything is just so. It’s extremely tiring emotionally but I’m used to it now as it’s been this way for many years.
Hope everyone else is ok. Goodnight everyone and sleep well x

Scaredycat I hope you enjoyed your roast. I am still washing my shopping. I can’t give up on the idea yet. I don’t wash the frozen stuff but I do wash my hands after handling anything from the freezer. Hope you had a good day.
lavender yes these fireworks so upset animals don’t they. There haven’t been so many here as normal. Hope it’s over now. We have been going for our walks earlier as it gets dark so quickly now.
Oh Annie. I do hope he and your DGD and DGS are ok. They are young and no reason to think it will be bad for them. I hope the young man recovers quickly,
Chrissy I have a suggestion for you. Try making eye contact and smiling at people. The response can be amazing.
Ok many will ignore you and that’s ok, their loss but when I see someone looking glum or grim and they see me smile and smile back it’s such a nice feeling to have that sort of response. You might make their day.
Sleeps well all the BDG x?

Doodle yes they are young, mini tornado is 21, think her partner is 24, my grandson is 28, he messaged this morning and said he was feeling well, hope it avoids it, he lives alone , why oh why do we think they are still small, my husband was married at 28.

Chrissy I really understand , I have the same with time, I live alone so can please myself but no, set time to get up and go
to bed, meals, tidying up doesn’t trouble me, just time, had this for three years , had the agoraphobia the same three years.

Do you check the doors a set number of times ?

Hi all x

How is everyone ?

I can open the package containing my charger lead today, hope it’s the right one, crosswords, killer Suduko, Back and Forth, Family Trees, yippee.

BlueSky I wonder if that was the same one we went to? I learned a lot about all the different wars the Australians had fought in.

OhAnnie I will pray for MT and all who know her. Please keep us all updated. So sorry to hear about the positive test, hope they get through it quickly with no lasting effects.

We too moved around a lot and I think it might make us more resilient. Must be much harder for those who have always lived in one place to push themselves to meet people.

Chrissey it is much harder to break into groups than to talk one to one. Some years ago I went to a yoga class a few times but not even the teacher spoke to me so I left. Not so many years ago we joined a Pilates class and the teacher was very good and spoke to everyone. After a while, when the class got to know us, we were invited to join them for coffee but it took them a while to feel able to approach us. Annie is right about whose problem it is. If you can pluck up the courage to just start a conversation with someone you never know where it may lead. Nice coat, weather, anything bland will do.

Yes Doodle those of us who have good families are fortunate and mine are my best friends too. As DSs got married our families expanded to include their families and we get on really well with them despite them living a long way away. I think shared GC has something to do with it but perhaps I brought my DC up so well they made great choices

We are still sanitising frozen stuff because I read that the virus stays on things longer if they are in the fridge and more if frozen. Probably taking things too far.

Grey and damp day today but we have decided to still go out and walk. Already had conversation with one DS about him buying a car, due to have one with another DS about his future career. Yes, I know those are normal things but when there is so little going on in our lives it makes me feel useful. So glad they still come to me for advice/discussion.

We do that, just smile at everyone we pass and they nearly always smile back. I always used to talk to people at the bus stop, it might have been the only person they spoke to that day. We should remember the invisible people too, postmen, binmen, shop assistants, a smile and a kind word makes all the difference.

Scardycat hope you had a good night's sleep and feel better today.

Lavender hope today is a better day for you. Bonfire night used to be only one night and in our own gardens. We used to lock the pets in and leave them with the radio on to block out any noise. Not so easy these days when we don't know when the fireworks will be.

Afternoon everyone
Doodle I’ll give it a try if I can pluck up the courage
Annie Has your MT had her results yet? I so wish that you could get help with the agoraphobia, it must be really hard to deal with especially if you would really love to be able to go out. I hope the charger was the right one. Back to your games . I’m the same with my DC. Even though they’re 45 and 42 I still worry about them as though they are small children. I try to only check things like doors twice but sometimes I will check more, maybe up to 4 times.
Nonnie It is such a good feeling when our DC come to us for advice, makes us still feel useful. Hope you enjoyed your walk, a very grey day here as well. I’m going to work on smiling at people and even maybe start conversations.
Hi to everyone else. Have a good afternoon x

Hi everyone .
Annie -I hope you have good news about your MT and hope her partner is not too poorly.
So glad you have your charger now and you,re back in business. I would be lost without an iPad now I think.
Nonnie- I think you could be right about the fridge and the virus. When you think about it Labs keep stuff in fridges don,t they.
Grey and damp here too but very mild. We,ve just had our walk on the Woodland Trust. Yesterday when we were there we bumped into my DGD with her boyfriend. -what a lovely treat that was to have a chat with them. Having a walk is really the only way they can see each other at the moment.
I had a better night thank you so don’t feel as tired.
Chrissy- you sound much more positive about meeting other people. Some of the best conversations are with people you meet by chance. Years ago we met some American people in a wood in Cornwall and like most of their countrymen they were so friendly. On learning we were about to go to their part of US they told us of a better driving route than the one we had chosen . We would have missed the most wonderful drive if we hadn,t had that chance encounter.
It must be difficult for you to deal with OCD although I think many people do have it to a much lesser degree. I do the checking thing but not enough that it bothers me. Also years ago I could only eat even numbers of some things.but not any more.
Wishing you all a pleasant evening . Lovex

Evening all. While out for our usual walk today, I went to sit on a bench while DH got some takeaway coffee. No sooner I sat down a man came along and sat by me, well at the other end of the bench. I didn’t want to appear rude so I didn’t get up and leave straight away but he then started to cough in earnest! Got up and fled horrified manners or not!
Chrissy I too used to feel that if I didn’t do my routine harm would come to my loved ones. Now luckily I’m able to tell myself that it doesn’t work like that and not to be so stupid.
Scaredycat I too only eat things in even numbers, and everything has got to be even, but I like it that way. I’ve eased off on the checking business but myself and DH check on each other, this is for age related issues rather than OCD.
Have a nice evening everybody x

Glad to have. found you can you please tell me where I may find Annies advice on acceptance, I have a problem with this. Many thanks.

Hello everyone
Hope you are all coping the best way you can. No wobbling, or at least lets wobble together.
Annie thinking about the MT and saying prayers and hoping for the best. Glad you managed to get into your package and you can now do your puzzles etc.
Had a walk out today, no fireworks so little man was more confident. In fact so confident, that when we got to the end of our garden and turned left onto the lane he jumped on top of the wall and did his impression of "I'm the King of the Castle" gazing into the distance over to the hills. He's only little, he does make me laugh, such a little monkey!
Not had any rain which is a plus, but still dull and no sun.
Hope everyone has a peaceful evening and a good nights sleep. Love to you all Annie Nonnie Scaredycat Doodle Chrissy Bluesky Flutterby and all those I have missed out. So glad we have this little group. Take care, stay safe xx

Welcome Primrose good to see you. Annie will be along shortly.

Annie my sons are in their 40s. I still think of them as my young children. Glad your DGS is still feeling well let’s hope he and your DGD avoid catching it.
Have you opened your package yet. I hope the lead is working and you are enjoying your games again. ?
Nonnie nice your sons talk to you about their lives.
Yes smiling and talking to people is a good thing to do. We have made a number of ‘friends’ on our walks. People we see often and who stop for a little chat.
Chrissy all you have to do is smile. You don’t need to speak. And if they don’t smile back, don’t let it put you off just keep doing it, because one day someone will smile back and it will make you happy.
I am a double (or more) checker of things. I have tended to devise a way of checking important things only once i.e. the front door. I shut it then I push it had with my hand and say to myself the door is shut. Or, if I want to make sure something is unplugged, I take the plug out and tap it on my hand and say the plug is out. Tapping it on my hand reminds me that I have done it.
Scaredycat it is a known fact that freezing does not get rid of the virus. I do not wash my frozen stuff but if I take anything out of the freezer I wash my hands straight away after.
Nice to meet up with your DGD on your walk yesterday. Glad you slept better.
Bluesky I would have done the same. Don’t want to be near people coughing at the moment.
Sounds as though you have made good progress with your OCD tendencies and not troubled by them now.
Lavender hope you are ok.
Sleep well all x

Hello Primrose so sorry if I have confused you about
‘Acceptance’.

I don’t mean I think we all have to accept everything, there are
things we have to accept in life, but no way do I believe we have to accept depression, anxiety etc.

May I ask what is troubling you ? this thread is for sharing,
support , understanding, all who post here and have posted in
the past have / had depression, anxiety, OCD, agoraphobia and other problems, I promise you will supported x

Evening everyone
Scaredycat How lovely that you met up with your DGD and her partner yesterday. My daughter and her partner can only meet up by going for walks as well. Hopefully it won’t be that way for too long. My OCD does get to me sometimes especially when I’m tired but I’m used to leaving with it.
BlueSky I would have done exactly the same, never mind good manners.
lavenderzen Your little man sounds funny .
Doodle I’m going to try what you do, pushing the door and telling myself it’s shut. It’s worth a try.
Primrose I hope you feel able to talk about your problems here.
Annie Nonnie Flutterby Joce and anyone else I’ve missed, I hope you’re all ok.
Have a nice evening and sleep well everyone x

Hi all x

How is everyone coping with the England lockdown ?

How’s this for a dream ? Last night I was in Ireland looking in
archives for info on my g grandfather, waste of time really,
he was born, lived and died in Trewalchmai, a village in North
Wales !

Chrissy I have OCD tendencies too and knowing that, I try to control them. Mine are more to do with keeping the house safe than anything else. Did I turn my fan off, did I turn the tap off, did I shut the door. I am not a compulsive hand washer or anything like that but I can go back and check things more than once. I find telling myself that I have done it and repeating it a few times makes me realise I have.
Annie that’s a strange dream. Have you been reading about Ireland at all. I dreamt about trying to eat a dessert and being given an enormous flat spoon like a spatula that wouldn’t fit in the bowl. ?
Hope everyone has a good day x

Morning all x Annie any news on your MT her partner and you DGS?
Talking about dreams this morning just before I woke up I dreamt my DH was walking on the edge of a cliff, he then disappeared, obvious meaning I guess.
I’ve been trying not to worry about that man that yesterday was coughing sat on ‘my’ bench. I put my coat outside, changed clothes, washed my hair etc my OCD won’t let it rest.
Hope you’ll all have a peaceful day x

Morning everyone
Doodle I don’t have the hand washing thing either just repeatedly checking things.
Annie There’s no accounting for the strange dreams we have is there.

I need to write something here, please bear with me.
You might remember that a few weeks ago I was posting about being able to feel something under the skin on my lower leg. I made a mistake by saying it was next to a mole to the GP and they automatically thought I was concerned about the mole and I didn’t put them right. They asked me to send a photo which I did. Apparently it’s not a mole but another skin growth which is nothing to worry about). Me being me didn’t make it clear to the GP that I was concerned about what I could feel under the skin. Don’t ask me why because I don’t know. Anyway they asked me to send another photo in 6-8 weeks which I’ve done this morning and I’ve marked the area out with pen. This is the strange part - I spoke to one of my daughters last night and she said that I told her that I could feel something under the skin months ago, possibly at the beginning of the year and that’s really scared me for 2 reasons. I don’t remember talking about it that long ago and secondly what happens if it’s something bad and it’s been growing all that time. Since I sent the first photo 8 weeks ago it hasn’t changed at all so I suppose that’s a good sign. I already have a telephone consult with the GP that I feel the most comfortable with next week. Why can’t I tell GPs exactly what I’m worried about. After all, what’s the point in holding info back. I started taking statins at the end of last year and I was getting bad leg cramps. I saw 3 GPs over 3 months and they said that it sounded like a trapped sciatic nerve. I don’t know, everything is such a mess. Now I’m panicking about getting a call. That was longer than I intended, sorry everyone x

Doodle yes Ireland, I was listening to the news about the
American President Elect, he is Catholic and has Irish ancestors, and I thought ‘oh no, the same as JFK’. Sorted x

BlueSky waiting for mini tornado’s test results but I am sure
she has the virus, only sends one message a day, no chat in it,
just ‘I love you ,are you ok’. Test results expected today.

Sensible to react as you did after sitting next to that chap, not
OCD, if there was no virus you wouldn’t do it x

Good for you Chrissey with that positive thought. On our walk yesterday two sets of people passed us, one thanked us for moving so they could pass, the other said what a mild day it was. It just lifts the spirits a little for all.

Scardycat you sound a bit more positive. Good.

BlueSky & all with OCD it sounds horrible to have to keep to a routine and constantly check up on yourselves. I can't imagine the stress that puts on you. I think the only O thing I do is write lists and send myself notes in email to remind me. I think that is only about being organised, nothing more.

Primrose can't point you to annie's advice but mine is to keep on this thread and learn lots of different coping strategies.

Doodle my 'baby' son is nearly as old as yours but will always be my baby. Funny though, they are now treating us as the children except when it come to sport (DH) and financial advice (me)

Annie coping with English lockdown but not liking it. Trying not to think about not seeing family at Christmas.

Laughed about your dream, sounds as daft as some of mine

ChrisseyR I hope it turns out to be nothing to worry about. May I suggest that when you talk to the GP you only talk about this one thing? It helps to focus their mind especially when it is only on the phone.

Woke up to sunshine but gone very grey now. Been quite productive this morning so not feeling too bad. Taking a vulnerable friend to the train later, think that's allowed but as it is us or a taxi I think it safer to be us. We will both wear masks in the car.

Chrissy don’t apologise. You spoke of something under your
skin the beginning of the year then forgot it, that shows you
don’t worry about everything. x

Can you write questions out ready to speak to the GP ?

nonnie I didn’t take knitting with me to Ireland ? x

Two years ago my mini tornado said she wanted to help me and not to get a cleaner, I said ‘ I am not having my granddaughter clean for me’ her reply - ‘you have looked after
me for 19 years now I will look after you ‘ how’s that for being
treated as a child