Down, down, Down......

Thank you so much for putting trust in us. Depression is very often associated with body chemicals and under stress (like isolating) the chemical issues worsen. They are very treatable and you might find yourself feeling better very soon. Talk to your CPN immediately. Your husband may be able to help too. I have been through this years ago. Churchill called it his Black Dog". Be willing to let those around you help. We are here if you just need a listening ear.

wondering how you are coping now,Sally? You are in my thoughts and I hope you are feeling better than you were?

Sally ?

Keep telling yourself that this feeling will pass,because as you know it will.

Hard to get motivated I know but do something that occupies your mind, even just watching tv or a crossword.

Break the day up so you just think an hour ahead just plan to fill the hour or 15 mins if an hour is too much.

Sally. Good advice so far. Big hugs and

You are ill. You are suffering from depression, which is a very real and debilitating illness. It is not your fault. You can get better, but will probably need antidepressants.

Please speak to your doctor. You need to sort it out.

I speak from personal experience, having been on antidepressants for many years - and I promise you, with the correct treatment, you can and will feel better in a relatively short time. x

today I found a Journal /Diary that I had written daily accounts in when I was recovering from a very difficult time in my life and remember how much it helped in my recovery.
Each day I made a note of 3 things to be thankful for that day.It could be really small things like sunshine.
I also made a list of any achievements I'd had in the day eg getting out of bed,and praising myself for doing so.
At the end of each day I made a list of things to do the following day and ticked them off as I did them.
Sometimes I didn't achieve those things but it was very important give self praise when I did and avoid self blame when I didn't.
Reading back through that Journal brought so many things back to me and made me remember what a help it had been
.It might help to try something like this for yourself?
I've decided to start writing again to help get myself through
these difficult times .

Sally speak to your CPN.As soon as you can. That will help you to ease the pain.

I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said anything, I have Bipolar and have been in a depressed state for a long time. I try not to burden my husband, he isn't really one of life's 'copers', if I told him how I feel he would go into panic mode, and he's already struggling with his fear of coronavirus.

I do try to remain upbeat, and will try to find positives, but today it's just not happening, not helped by my not feeling well (not coronavirus, just a long term condition that regularly hits me), I'm going to try to sleep, and maybe the suicidal ideation will have eased a bit, but thank you all, knowing that I can let it out does make it easier.

Yes
Greymar I agree entirely. This lady really needs to seek her professional helpers (CPN)

Moods can easily swing about quite rapidly.

Oh no ~Sally. Please talk to someone. There is always light at the end of the tunnel, no matter how far away. Please get help
as soon as you can. Life is a gift, don't throw it away. You are needed, talk to your husband, please.

That was a quick descent from coping fine to despair, Sally Definitely get advice.

Sally please talk to your husband , I know that i would be so upset if I thought that my OH was suffering in silence. Talking to us is a first step, if you can’t speak to him then write down all that you are feeling, but please give him the letter, don’t hide it for him to find.

Sally I've noticed you started a thread yesterday about making the most of things it was quite a positive thread but only a couple of people replied
Has something upset you overnight for you to feel so low this morning?
It maybe that not many people could think of positives yesterday ?
Theres always silver linings somewhere but just now I think we have to dig deep to find them.
I implore you to Contact your CPN

Have you looked at the Black Dog Gang thread? You will find other like yourself, it may or may not help but you are not alone.

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Sallyas Granny has posted "Hold on" for those that love you.

Sorry sally, that doesn’t make much sense, it was supposed to be one of those sunshine icons. Do speak to someone you trust. Wishing you peace today.

Sally sunshine it is there underneath the pain.

I think you have also posted on another thread about losing contact with your daughter. This is obviously one of the reasons you feel as you do.

Good advice given by other posters, I do hope you get some resolution to your worries.

Feel free to message me Sally.

Well you have told us and that's a start. I have suffered from depression off and on all my life. I am finding that my learned coping strategies are standing me in good stead during this dreadful time. Working in the garden until I am exhausted, having a book that I must finish, ditto a piece of knitting. If thoughts of a quick end as a way out of misery impinge I tell myself that that would be incredibly selfish, especially at this time, when family, friends and carers already have enough to cope with.

You have a valuable part to play during this crisis - looking after your DH and any other family and ensuring that you do not put any extra strain on medical services, undertakers, etc. I have seen the aftermath of suicide via my work too often, to inflict that on any of my friends, neighbours and family.

Hold on, this too shall pass, and do phone your CPN

Sally you are sharing it really arent you ? you're sharing it with us and we will be listening.
Sometimes just writing it down relieves the pressure. You may feel guilty as you say but that's just the depression talking in your head. You really should contact your CPN they are trained to help