OH now on end-of-life care.

luckygirl That was a beautiful service. I listened to the music and had a little weep for you both. I do hope that you find some comfort and consolation in music during the days ahead.

No words, just heartfelt hugs (((xxx)))

You couldn’t have done more Lucky. So much love. XX

Oh your description of the service was lovely..it gave me goosebumps...what a beautiful way to say goodbye to your beloved ?

It does sound as though you did the very last thing for your DH superbly well. A really appropriate memorial service is the final thing we can do for someone we love, and your tribute sounds perfect. Hope it helps you to know that you have always done the very best you possibly could.

Lucky the funeral is always a big hurdle to overcome. This you have done to the best of your ability. Time for you now to take it easy and be kind to yourself with the support of your loved ones.

I'm pleased to read that the service went well Lucky. It sounds as if it was perfect in every way - your dear husband would have been so pleased with all you did to give him such a lovely, personal farewell from so many family and friends.

I hope you managed to sleep last night and have woken today feeling a little less burdened than you have felt for so long. Grieving of course, but no longer desperately worried about him. He is now at peace and you can - slowly, gently - move on with your life. Sending (((hugs))) and

Luckygirl it’s so kind of you to let us know about your dear man’s funeral, when you are in the midst of all the ensuing emotions.

It sounds beautiful and a very fitting tribute.

Now be gentle with yourself and let those who love you, help you. ?

A lovely personal farewell, and Mr Lucky is free from his suffering. It’s your time now, to rest if you can. Just take things at your own pace, and don’t feel you have to put on a brave face.

Must have been a very hard day for you all Luckygirl
You gave him a lovely send off and I am sure he would be so proud of you.
Be kind to yourself, feelings are what they are and you will have so many different ones I expect but please try not to feel guilty.

Luckygirl I'm relieved that the day you were dreading went so well.
You have had a very tough time.
Sending virtual hugs.

Luckygirl I do hope you managed to have a restful night, even if you were not able to have a lot of sleep.

It is time now for just you, to rest and recover, I hope that in the not too distant future you will feel able to enjoy your choir involvement again and hopefully find new interests. It is your time now, free from all the worries you have shouldered for such a long time.

Today is the start of a new chapter in your life and I sincerely hope you will find it an exciting and nicely challenging time - you’ve had more than your fair share of the other kind.

It would be nice for all of us here to know how you are doing so please do keep in touch with us if you feel able to.

I hope today is a restful one. Your husband would be so proud of you.

I hope you have had some sleep by now lucky.

The service sounds perfect and how proud your husband would have been of your grandson.

Go easy on yourself now.

Your description sounds perfect, a wonderful farewell.

You may need time to take stock now, not rush into anything, just be, for a while. There’s time later to take up the reins of a busy life again, for now let it wash over you. Thinking of you. Xxx

The farewell was just right for the man luckygirl, a beautiful and meaningful occasion. Of course you’ll want to howl, why wouldn’t you? Please don’t pressurise yourself to be any particular way, just be as you are from minute to minute. Sending love.

It sounds like a perfect farewell Luckygirl and so lovely that your young grandson supported you so well, what a wonderful young man he must be.

You may feel very tired for some time because you have probably been running on adrenaline and with high levels of anxiety for such a while. Let others care for you and accept help if offered.
Take care.

Much love from me, too, Luckygirl.Try and sleep but don't be too surprised if it's not possible. Camomile tea and the radio can be a comfort in the small hours. Just do whatever you need to take care of yourself.?

I am so pleased it went so well Lucky.

I am crying as I write this - tears seem to be very near the surface at the moment.

Cry when you need to, howl if you must but do not feel guilty about the care you gave your DH or the sense of relief you feel. His suffering is over and you know he would want you to go on living.

I am sending you much love xx

I have also had you on my mind today, and am so glad to hear that all went well.
Sounds as though you and your family had arranged it beautifully.
You did him proud.
Now you need to try and sleep, hard to do maybe.
Look after yourself, be selfish for a while and do exactly what your body tells you.
Night, night, God bless.

I've been thinking of you today, Lucky So glad everything went as you hoped. It sounds like a moving and fitting send off.

Look after yourself now because exhaustion will catch up with you. There will be days when you don't want to do anything so take your time. xx

Sounds like you gave him a wonderful farewell Luckygirl. Just the things and people that were important to him. The big turn out was a recognition of how valued he was by so many others.
Talk about him all the time with the girls. He lives on in them and his grandchildren.
I hope you manage a restful sleep and wake refreshed to the next chapter in your life.

Thank you so much.

I am a maelstrom of conflicting feelings this evening - I am so sad that he has gone, but now and again there is a flicker of relief - which makes me feel a bit guilty. But he is out of his pain and misery, and I am no longer carrying that huge responsibility for his well-being; those difficult decisions about his care and medical treatment; the awful things that were torturing his mind and about which I could do nothing; the challenges of his paranoia and the accusations that he fired at me continuously.

It feels awful to have these feelings even for fleeting moments - but they are what they are and I will have to deal with them.

Life is tough sometimes - but today my choir sang "Love Call me Home", which is all about friends carrying you safely over, and I really felt that today from friends both real and virtual.

You have been in my thoughts today Lucky. Not only in life did you care so lovingly for your DH but it also continued through a beautiful service with so many who loved and thought to highly of him

I am sending you a shed load of strengthening vibes with thoughts of love and admiration for what must have been a heart wrenching day for you.

So many of us here will always be here for you. Whenever you need us, we are listening. ?

Luckygirl it sounds perfect - I was confident you would have beautiful music and give your dear husband a “do” to be proud of.
Don’t be surprised when the reaction kicks in.
You will want some time on your own, but friends and family should be getting you out every day perhaps just for a coffee or just keeping you company.
I have little clear recollection of those weeks but I know I was fragile. I saw one or other or all three of the girls each weekend and my friends and neighbours supported me here.
I hope the house sale can be put on the back burner even for a little while to give you a chance to breathe. I know we are all different but I did not even open Paw’s wardrobes or drawers apart for some coats for the Keep Brum outer clothes appeal for warm clothing for the homeless.
Do whatever makes you feel comfortable though, we are all different.
You have made giant steps in the last month - now rest, relax regroup and recover

Sending love and every good wish to you and your family.

xxx