No longer interested in the bedroom

I’m on a low dose of HRT alternate days, plus I use Ovestin cream internally twice a week. This combats vaginal dryness and soreness besides helping my husband and me to enjoy intercourse comfortably.

I tried HRT but it did not agree with me and I put on so much weight, 11lb in 16 weeks, so I had to come off of it. My sex drive has gone down since menopause. We don't have sex as often as before as I always seem to feel so tired, but we kiss and cuddle and are still intimate.

Lucky to have got it at all lol 25 years of marriage and when I went for a smear test the nurse had to use the virgin size, she was very surprised and gave me quite an odd look lol

I would definitely recommend Maryon Stewart"Making the Midlife Switch" group.She guides you through a natural menopause,as HRT is not suitable for everyone. She has also written many books on all aspects of menopause.The group was a lifesaver for me.

I am 59. Due to fragmented discs in my spine i am unable to have intercourse. It is totally impossible. I feel sorry for my husband. He's lovely and understanding. We still kiss and cuddle. To be totally honest l have never had a high sex drive as abused from a young age to the day l got married. I cannot tell anyone. Only you lovely people. Yes I did tell my husband once... but he sort of dismissed it.

Growingolddisgracefully, I started at 64 so perfectly feasible.

You may need some HRT that contains testosterone. I think that is the hormone that increases the sex drive, but your doctor will know.

Growing0ldDisgracefully bless you! I'm certainly not swinging from the lampshades any longer. I know ladies who have started hrt in their 60s. It was the closeness I missed most and its lovely to have that again

Thank you for raising this. Someone else did recently and got some very negative responses I feel, yet isn't this forum about raising issues which affect our generation? I have also felt little or no need in this department for some while and have tried the usual gels etc but this hasn't helped. Before attempting a GP visit (almost impossible to get an appt round here - our local practice featuring in the lowest rated section of the country...), does anyone know whether starting HRT at age 63 is feasible and would it solve anything? I'm not talking about swinging from the lampshades or the scene from that film (When Harry met Sally?), but just a glimmer of enthusiasm from the relevant department would be nice!

We grow older and our hormone reduce for a reason we are too old for reproduction. Unfortunately our bodies haven't caught up with modern life styles and expectancies. HRT will probably be the answer and should be addressed before a psychological barrier sets in.

A few years ago I put a post on saying almost exactly the same thing. I went to the GP and he prescribed HRT. I decided not to take it but did use the Estradiol cream. I'm happy to say that I now have my sex drive back after 3 years. I think sometimes we gave to give nature time but it's not easy, especially when we live in such an instant world.

Thank you all so much; there's some really helpful advice and support here. She did mention that she wasn't on HRT, and I got the impression that she thought it was too late. Perhaps she will reconsider after reading these messages.

Without wishing to encroach on the OP’s post, thanks so much for that Allsaints as not able to discuss my problem with anyone and it’s great not to feel so alone.x

Assuming that this state of mind or body is solely due to the menopause, it has happened to lots of us. Some needed help from their GPs, others probably don't really know why our interest in sex came back, but fortunately it did.

During my time, where I didn't really want or enjoy it, I played stripper for DH - he enjoyed it immensely and I too found it good fun. Perhaps your friend and her husband could try something new or different too.

I assumed part of my lack of interest was due to the fact that my sister was dying at the time, and found that once the first grief over her death was past, physical desire reasserted itself, so perhaps your friend needs to consider whether there are other issues lurking in the background.

Retirement looming? Money worries? Bereavement? Empty nest? All these are common experiences at our age, and all take time to deal with.

Please don’t assume that HRT sorts out this problem for everyone! Just sayin’....

It’s definitely worth a conversation with the GP if it’s bothering her though.

I’m going through the menopause and my libido comes and goes
My husband has a high sex drive
There are other ways to be intimate and close without sex. I feel quirky at times, but husband understands and is supportive
I suggest a visit to the GP. If my situation get worse I’ll be doing just that

I do end up having fantasies about gorgeous guys on the TV ??‍♀️

My problem is the same hot mama . I’m on HRT and 61 and still want bedroom fun but my partner not interested who’s younger . I let it go as he’s great in all other areas and it causes a defensive argument if I mention it . Definitely to young to give up bedroom fun . So HRT nannyyvie is the answer for flagging libido x

As Espee says, it can probably easily be sorted with a bit of HRT. She’s far too young to give up her sex life, quite apart from her husband. I’m sure her GP will be helpful and as Wildswan says, Menopause Matters has a wealth of info. My problem is opposite inasmuch as hubby doesn’t want to continue in the bedroom and I do and he’s younger than me! So, tell your friend to get to her GP and enjoy the rest of her sex life.

No wonder GPs have too many patients.

Your friend just needs to take one day at a time.
Things will improve but I do think you can worry yourself into
certain menopausal problems.
I did and eventually came through it.

I think various problems associated with the menopause eventually right themselves after the first dramatic drop in hormones. If you want results quicker and you are suitable then may be HRT is the way to go.

If suitable, HRT could sort you out.
According to my doctor, you are still in the "good" age group, where hormone replacement can work, without the worry of too many risks.
But you MUST speak to a GP first, as you may not be suitable for HRT, or even want to take it.
They can offer advice and help with the menopause, however, sometimes the adverse nastiness just dissappears after a while.
But sometimes it doesn't.
Take action now, because time is against you, and if you would like to try HRT, you need to get cracking now!

If she can afford it then google a gynaecologist with menopause speciality and go for a private consultation - mine cost £450. with internal exam but that was a very expensive private London hospital covered by my health insurance.
If not then look for a well woman clinic in your area. However - I think the only solution will be HRT, some people just don’t like it. I love it, all symptoms fissapeared snd I feel happier and fitter and optimistic but it’s not for everyone.

HRT would reverse her menopause symptoms. Works for me (for the last 30 years).