I’ve been drinking too much all my adult life

Lots of people, myself included ,drink to self medicate. We use a depressive substance to help with depression....how stupid is that?

It's a complex issue that can't be solved by telling somebody to snap out of it or take up cross stitch.

Come on Maggie. You've got to pull yourself together. Only you can do it.

From the OP.

Can anyone relate?

No. Drinking that much would scare the socks off of me. I am a total wimp re all things hospitals.

No jura I don’t want to keep off this thread thanks although I said I didn’t drink hardly at all I did offer a little advice which I think is as valuable as anyone else’s and I didn’t in any way decry the author so please live and let live
Surely all these threads are chewing over ideas and thoughts we don’t have to have lived them to feel empathy
I haven’t lived through estrangement but I can imagine it and think of ideas that may or may not work

Maggie you sound exactly like me - I have always enjoyed my wine and over the years have had many happy times with friends nearly always involving a bottle or two. These days I don’t go out as much but enjoy a few glasses of wine at the weekend . I do occasionally have a break - mainly to try and cut back on calories and get my weight back on track. I think it’s a personal choice- if you are worried maybe speak to your GP but don’t beat yourself up too much about it- these days it appears almost anything that gives pleasure is bad for us

KatyK that made me smile ,my late sister was an alcoholic,she had the most beautiful skin and a stunning figure,she used to say she was "well preserved by her wee drink" sadly it wasn't a "wee" drink and she died aged just 50.

I dont know if what you say you drink is accurate,as I know my sister often told people she wasn't a heavy drinker ,but if it is ,it would be wise to try to cut back now before it does permanent damage.Get some help from family or your GP and try to replace the booze with something else that gives you thesame effect ,I wish you health and all the luck in the world in the coming months .

I agree with you ann My DH has cancer (in remission at present) but he has to be checked annually. We enjoy our lives while we can.

I know I drink too much, I am not going to say how much and bring condemnation. On myself.
I haven’t done it all my life, I didn’t drink much at all until my 50’S when we started socialising more, even then it was only occasionally.
Since my H developed his illness I took to drinking a G&T after a particularly stressful day.
I still kept at least 3 evenings free.
Since he has had died I have kept it up.
At 82 something is going to kill me, rather alcohol than boredom.
I am nearly housebound now.

We are a pair of kippers maybe Ellan Anxiety has been my enemy too. Some may say that drinking can be the cause of anxiety but I have had severe anxiety since I was a child.

KatyK, I find this with smoking too, frowning etc etc, but I have a clear chest, good pair of lungs and 98% sats. ( the amount of oxygen in the blood ) never a cold from one year to the next ( except at Christmas after the 'flu jab ! ) One mild bronchitis in my life--in the 90's, just anxiety has been my enemy.

I suppose I'm preserved too----like a kipper hahahaha.

go back to AA and get a sponsor, work the 12 Step Spiritual Programme - It works if you work it so work it you are worth it. Give it another try anyway. Good luck

With any ingrained habit there's often a subtle ritual to the whole thing. If you normally settle on the settee in front of the TV with a drink then do something else instead that you enjoy but without a drink. If that's too difficult then try low/no alcohol wine. It's much better tasting than it used to be.
The most important step has already been taken in that you have decided you want to break that habit. Good luck.

And then a dear colleague who never smoked never drank clean living died of lung cancer at 62!

Just to add, I've never had a chest infection, flu and haven't had a cold for over 30 years. Maybe I'm pickled!

I get fed up of being preached at. I have a friend who is younger than me and has almost never had a drink in her life. She frowns on it in fact. Every time I speak to her she is ill - colds, flu, chest infections, aches and pains.

We are all at risk of getting cancer.
I think it’s easy to interpret ‘increased risk’ as something greater than it really is.
It’s perhaps as well to remember that there are health benefits from drinking wine as well as risks.

This is from the Breast Cancer Now website:

“In a group of 50 women who do not drink, about six will probably develop breast cancer in their lifetime.

But in a group of 50 women who drink two units of alcohol a day (for example, a standard glass of wine), about seven will develop breast cancer in their lifetime
*So drinking two units a day causes one extra woman out of every 50 to develop breast cancer*”

breastcancernow.org/about-breast-cancer/want-to-know-about-breast-cancer/what-can-cause-breast-cancer/alcohol-and-breast-cancer-risk

I wonder if you could try buying the small bottles of wine, if you know that you are going to finish the bottle once it's opened? I am the same with chocolate, once a box is opened my willpower is gone. So maybe start with a small bottle to cut down on the overall amount and then limit to one day a week? Try to find an alternative, soda water, or something similar that will give you a drink but without the alcohol or sugar. You could also visit your GP for advice, maybe look at the NHS website too. X

Very well said jura But really- could all those who do not drink in excess keep off this thread? How is it helping to say 'not my problem'.

Good comment.

I used to drink a fair deal but in my 50s I started having horrendous headaches lasting for 3 days and no pain killers except aspirin would touch it. I was amazed that when I stopped for relationship reasons the headaches gradually became less frequent. These days I rarely drink any alcohol as I’m too afraid of those headaches.

The biggest downside is that I find going to the pub rather a trial. I’m not fond of cold, soft fizzy drinks so occasionally I have a bottle of low alcohol beer. I like the idea of wine without the alcohol. Perhaps you could try mixing alcohol free wine with your normal tipple. This could have the effect of reducing your intake. I also enjoy elderflower syrup mixed with soda as a substitute.

There is great pressure to drink socially. How many films, tv programmes use alcohol as relaxant? I’m fairly sure that until you don’t drink (much) this is not even noticed.

Good luck with your campaign and don’t stress about it. Even having non-alcohol periods in your life gives your body time to regenerate.

I'm the same Maggie I've worried about my drinking and the effect on my health for years. I'm 70 now and have no health problems that I know of. I think the worrying does me more harm than the alcohol. My mother never touched alcohol or cigarettes and was dead at 58 through worry and stress. All we can do is try to cut back which I am trying to do. I think there are many people in the same boat although some don't admit it. It's not the answer I know but my life, since the day I was born, has been incredibly stressful and I can never relax. A couple of glasses of wine helps me do so.

Thank you for the replies. I don’t so much think it’s the amount I drink, rather it’s the way I drink. Sadly if I have wine in the house I drink it, so only buy one bottle at a time. I’m very much aware of the increased cancer risk with alcohol and that’s one of the reasons I want to cut down.

Very brave of you to open up on this. And yes, it is a real problem for many of our friends and those in our DDs generation.

We drink very little, and only socially, when with friends. But really- could all those who do not drink in excess keep off this thread? How is it helping to say 'not my problem'.

Maggie, hope you get some good advice and find the strength to deal with this. x

Same amount for me as bluebelle. A waste of money, I never needed the uplift. Realitive in law, was a steady drinker, fine wines you understand and flying here there and everywhere for work, now has early alzheimers. DD a dentist says that alcohol and smoking together often leads to nasty debilitating mouth cancers. I think the universe for me never really liking alcohol. Maybe it was the psychology of living opposite a pub and seeing the sick outside there every morning

So sorry for those struggling. I do have a chocolate addiction but I keep active and it takes my mind off it

I can't relate to this personally but I have two friends who drink too much, one sadly is I think trying to drink herself to death and nothing helps.
I wonder if it's just having a drink in your hand which is a comfort? Could you switch to a non-alcoholic wine or beer, or even a soft drink? These are nicer tasting these days.

Since retiring I'd got used to enjoy my tipple of Brandy, only it got out of hand and I was sipping right through the day. It took an unrelated health scare to turn me off drink altogether and now I don't really even want one drink a day. So as you can see it's quite common especially when you are at home all day.