I’ve been drinking too much all my adult life

go back to AA and get a sponsor, work the 12 Step Spiritual Programme - It works if you work it so work it you are worth it. Give it another try anyway. Good luck

KatyK, I find this with smoking too, frowning etc etc, but I have a clear chest, good pair of lungs and 98% sats. ( the amount of oxygen in the blood ) never a cold from one year to the next ( except at Christmas after the 'flu jab ! ) One mild bronchitis in my life--in the 90's, just anxiety has been my enemy.

I suppose I'm preserved too----like a kipper hahahaha.

We are a pair of kippers maybe Ellan Anxiety has been my enemy too. Some may say that drinking can be the cause of anxiety but I have had severe anxiety since I was a child.

I know I drink too much, I am not going to say how much and bring condemnation. On myself.
I haven’t done it all my life, I didn’t drink much at all until my 50’S when we started socialising more, even then it was only occasionally.
Since my H developed his illness I took to drinking a G&T after a particularly stressful day.
I still kept at least 3 evenings free.
Since he has had died I have kept it up.
At 82 something is going to kill me, rather alcohol than boredom.
I am nearly housebound now.

I agree with you ann My DH has cancer (in remission at present) but he has to be checked annually. We enjoy our lives while we can.

KatyK that made me smile ,my late sister was an alcoholic,she had the most beautiful skin and a stunning figure,she used to say she was "well preserved by her wee drink" sadly it wasn't a "wee" drink and she died aged just 50.

I dont know if what you say you drink is accurate,as I know my sister often told people she wasn't a heavy drinker ,but if it is ,it would be wise to try to cut back now before it does permanent damage.Get some help from family or your GP and try to replace the booze with something else that gives you thesame effect ,I wish you health and all the luck in the world in the coming months .

Maggie you sound exactly like me - I have always enjoyed my wine and over the years have had many happy times with friends nearly always involving a bottle or two. These days I don’t go out as much but enjoy a few glasses of wine at the weekend . I do occasionally have a break - mainly to try and cut back on calories and get my weight back on track. I think it’s a personal choice- if you are worried maybe speak to your GP but don’t beat yourself up too much about it- these days it appears almost anything that gives pleasure is bad for us

No jura I don’t want to keep off this thread thanks although I said I didn’t drink hardly at all I did offer a little advice which I think is as valuable as anyone else’s and I didn’t in any way decry the author so please live and let live
Surely all these threads are chewing over ideas and thoughts we don’t have to have lived them to feel empathy
I haven’t lived through estrangement but I can imagine it and think of ideas that may or may not work

From the OP.

Can anyone relate?

No. Drinking that much would scare the socks off of me. I am a total wimp re all things hospitals.

Come on Maggie. You've got to pull yourself together. Only you can do it.

Lots of people, myself included ,drink to self medicate. We use a depressive substance to help with depression....how stupid is that?

It's a complex issue that can't be solved by telling somebody to snap out of it or take up cross stitch.

Well said grapefruitpip

Well, if AA hasn't worked, what do you suggest?!

Alright criticising other people's advice.

If the dangers don`t scare people into stopping esp alcohol and smoking together, then not much else will and no I won`t stop coming here if I want to, we all have to know when it is good to say no and that could be to sugar as well as alcohol. My dd has seen very sad cases of avoidable mouth cancers. Hiding the head in the sand does nor help. The incentive to stop has to come from within the individual and platitudes, no matter how kindly said, are no good. It has to be hard facts ie alcohol is a poison, just look at a hardened alcoholic liver. The wonderful liver, the powerhouse of the body, it should be cherished not poisoned

Can I just state the obvious that alcohol is socially acceptable, legal, very very well marketed and also an addictive substance.
In medical terms it also temporarily fires up dopamine.

Maggie we all have our vices. I eat too much. Others smoke. If you are worried about the level of your drinking just cut back a bit. Make a bottle last 2 nights instead of one. It is not as if you are an alcoholic. You could share a bottle with a friend instead of drinking it all yourself.

Telling people to snap out of anything whether depression, addiction, comfort eating or whatever is rarely helpful, however well-meant and motivational it's supposed to be, in fact it usually has the opposite effect.
I was told to snap out of depression after I had a late miscarriage (at 20 weeks) because I already had a child and could always have more. It really made things worse and I took longer to seek help because it made me feel like being depressed was a personal failing and it made me feel shame.

Have you tried the alcohol free wines. Maybe you could have a bottle of one of those every other bottle. I used to have to drink one when it was my turn to drive when we went out with friends. I think they taste OK. Try a bottle Maggie and then come back and tell us what you think it is like.

Why not try having wine spritzers, increasing the spritzer to wine ratio a little at a time.

Although I m not much of a drinker I had two grandads who both knew how to push a pint and one liked gin and they were both heavy smokers one cigarettes the other a pipe The pipe smoker died a horrible death of throat cancer at early 70s my Dad had no time for his dad because he said his mum stayed poor all her life because granddad used to drink his wages (after giving her some) but they could have had a better quality of life if he hadn’t been in the pub each weekend
my other grandad had a heart attack at 63 he was a lovely very lovely man and I was heartbroken to lose him
My two grans outlived then by about 15 and 25 years
I wasn’t old enough to know why they drank
But I do know it s a habit alcohol is a depressive so will pull you down If you ve been to AA you will know all of this and unfortunately no one can do it for you it sounds as if you want to go for it again treat each day as it comes and get through one day at a time
I could easily be addicted to those beautiful big bags of hand cooked crisps but I allow myself one packet a week and try not to think about them at other times

newnanny has beaten me to it - if not zero alcohol, maybe try out some of the low-alcohol wines. Speaking as someone who was really overweight, I lost weight by keep ing my eating pattern essentialy the same, but using low-fat low-sugar products instead.

Yes Lowe alcohol wines may help. I used to drink 13 proof. Now I drink Lambrini which is about 6.5.

Low

Sorry Gonegirl, no idea if your comment was directed at me?

Since you ask, some things which can help are keeping a drinks diary, engaging with a local support service, seeing a therapist to consider what is going on that the alcohol is masking. Also distract yourself at key times ( wine o'clock),make sure you have early morning appointments/things to do and not vast amounts of unstructured time.
These are a few ideas.

It is an addictive substance.

I am absolutely sure there are many people using this site who drink too much. It's very common.