OH has fractured femur - not a good situation

Sorry it's such a struggle for you Luckygirl. I checked out some homes with a friend, just to prove to myself that I wasn't being picky.I wasn't, they weren't good. Some have good CQC ratings too. I think it must be a paper exercise. I suppose the nicest places always have long waiting lists. I do hope the hospice works out. At least you can be confident about good care there.

We were horrified at the ward MiL was transferred to for palliative care. It was gloomy and depressing looking. However, the staff were absolutely wonderful and the atmosphere and care was first class. Maybe you shouldn't be put off by the look of the place Luckygirl?

The hospice sounds like a great solution. You would not enjoy your break if you felt your DH was in a gloomy place and he would be determined not to go back.

It wasn't just the look jane - there was the smell, and a couple of rather grumpy staff too.

The hospice is in a beautiful place; light and airy with views over apple orchards and the river. There is a lovely summer house; and also access to music therapy (with a beautiful tambura), mindfulness, massage etc. - and a general sense of being pampered and cared for. I am hoping that 24 hour nursing and medical oversight might be a chance to look into some of his problems, like the incontinence, his drug regime, his sore pressure areas etc. and generally take stock after the chaos of the hospital.

I am hoping that a bed will come up for him soon.

I have had a wonderful evening as my DD treated me to a trip to the cathedral for singing from Ex Cathedra by candlelight. Sublime - and a chance to forget conveens and pads etc. Just lovely - I sat with my eyes closed all evening - it was sung through with no applause and the music just wafted over us. A real oasis of joy in the midst of this difficult time.

It is such a shame that we have to rely on charity (hospices) and private for profit companies, to care for our sick and elderly. I know the population is generally aging but surely there is a better way in a rich country such as ours if only the government would grasp the nettle. Some hospices are struggling and one children's hospice is closing near here. I do hope the hospice bed works out for your OH Lucky.

OK fair enough. There really shouldn't be a smell at all! A bad sign. I hope a hospice place becomes available soon. Glad to hear of your lovely evening.

So pleased you had a lovely evening. I too appreciate these moments of calm amongst the chaos.

That evening sounds restorative luckygirl, I’m so pleased for you and knowing the hospice management has reacted positively. There will be a way through.

Your evening out sounded lovely Lucky. I am glad you had a break and the chance to switch off, even if it was only for a short time. I am keeping my fingers crossed that the hospice bed is found, and soon, so that you can have that restorative break you so deserve. ( You described so well your reservations about 24/7 in-house care for OH. I am with you! I imagine that would not be at all restful or comfortable for you.)

Sending all good wishes your way

Glad you had such a delightful evening Luckygirl - hope the hospice works out for respite so that you can sort the carer situation.

Hospice rang at 9.15 this morning offering him a respite stay there as from this morning! He wasn't even dressed!

I have been scudding round getting everything ready and he has just gone off in the ambulance. I will pack his clothes and follow on with them.

I feel completely drunk! - it was a real shock as I assumed he would have to wait weeks for a bed. Do not know how long he will be there.

I just need to draw breath now and go on up with his things.

That's wonderful news Lucky. I do hope this will enable you to have some well deserved rest, safe in the knowledge that your husband is being well cared for. Wishing you some well deserved

Fabulous Lucky. And no time for DH to fuss beforehand.

I hope it is successful and that you get lots of rest and time to do things for yourself.

Let us know how it goes - exciting!

So pleased for you

And breathe... Luckygirl !

Excellent news and no time for DH to get anxious. Be prepared for him to be unhappy when you get there but be strong!
You can really relax this evening (although I bet you'll be waiting by the phone)

Enjoy some me time lucky and no guilty feelings! You deserve a good rest.

That’s better lucky, your husband will be fine, he’ll be well cared for, so organise as you need to, breathe a bit and sleep well tonight.

Brilliant. Have a good rest and get your knees sorted.

* Lucky* Good news
Try to enjoy your well earned rest.
No need to rush around, leave the tidying up and have a and something nice a simple to eat.

Fantastic and well done for all its taken to get there.

fantastic news , well done for sticking to your guns xxx

Lucky, great news. Rest! xx

Thanks everyone.

Just back from settling him in - he gulped down an excellent lunch and seems very impressed with his private room with wet room, TV etc.

I feel completely drained and am worrying whether he will get his meds on time! - it is so ingrained in me now. But I plan to have a sleep now and relax. The singers are coming tonight so I will be able to concentrate on that and not be running up and down to the bedroom.

How long will it take me to wind down I wonder!?

*Luckygirl*, I am happy that you will have a rest and be able to have your knee looked at. I'm sure your OH will be well cared for. You have high standards in regard to the type of care he is provided with. I respect your determination in waiting until you found a care home that you felt is trustworthy.
I hope that the health of your OH improves very soon.
My best wishes to both of you.??