OH has fractured femur - not a good situation

Lucky I have tried looking at it from the other side. He has been to hell over the last week and still has not returned. That will take love, care and some drugs.

Was he paranoid before this admission? If not I would give him some more time to attempt to recover and then maybe decide with your daughters. He has had little time to rest and his drugs work since he moved wards.

Luckygirl a very wise consultant took me to one side when my DM had a stroke after ten years with Alzheimer’s. She asked whether I wanted her admitted to a ward from A&E. She told me that treatment in hospital should be seen as a means to treat a condition, thus improving the quality of life of the patient.

She went on to say that in my mother’s case no treatment could improve her condition in a meaningful way and that in her view my DM would have a far kinder experience in her own surroundings, with the same outcome.

I thought she was hard for about a minute....and then I knew 100% she was right in this case. Mum had nothing to gain from medical interventions.

They would def. have admitted her if I’d insisted on treatment. I had to make the choice as Mum had no mental capacity by this time. I believe I did the right thing. It was the most loving thing I could do for her.

Take your time, make your choice with him at the centre of the decision. My heart goes out to you and your daughters. ?

I am afraid that sadly that is not the case here. The paranoia is pretty consistent whoever is there and it has not responded to drug therapy.

Thank you for the good wishes.

Oh Luckygirl so sad for you , perhaps OH will need his meds adjusted for the paranoia . I felt the same when OH went off his feet and his quality of life was dismal , but when Family and some of his friends came he was much more cheerful , keeping the good side out as they say

Thank goodness he's been moved Lucky, I hope you at least got some sleep.
My heart goes out to you too, it's a very difficult time for you and your girls.
A big but gentle hug for you

No square brackets on this computer for flowers - what a difficult time for you all. You will have to trust your instincts, with the girls' support. Certainly I would not wish to force feed him against his wishes.

Hugs and xxx

Love to you and your family. ?

Thinking about you and all your family.

Such a sad and difficult time for you all. I hope the staff are as helpful and kind as possible. Would there be a chaplain about? I mean an informed but supportive person to help you work through this awful time? Absolutely no easy answers though. Very best wishes to you and your family.

Luckygirl Which of these is the "real" OH? Is it him who is saying please just let me go now? - or is it the paranoia? Either way his future quality of life is going to be so poor, I feel we should make the decision to go with his wishes and let him go. It is agony and feels like a huge responsibility.

My heart goes out to you Lucky. There's nothing I can say, just sending you a warm hug and caring thoughts.

Please see my PM when you have a moment.

Luckygirl, please do look after yourself too. I'm glad the hospital are easy to get on with.

Best wishes for your OH's recovery.

Very difficult morning with him. He is quietly and continuously paranoid - e.g. would not let me put his earpieces in so he could listen to his iPod - he thought I was trying to strangle him.

But he is also saying he does not want to eat or drink and wants to be left in peace. He just wants pieces of chocolate every now and again.

Which of these is the "real" OH? Is it him who is saying please just let me go now? - or is it the paranoia? Either way his future quality of life is going to be so poor, I feel we should make the decision to go with his wishes and let him go. It is agony and feels like a huge responsibility.

We have indeed Lazigirl. Have a good visit and enjoy each other's company Luckygirl. Then have a relaxing evening if at all possible.

Thank you for giving updates Luckygirl and glad he is more settled. We have been worrying with you

Everything sounds so much better , gentle rehab is the way to go , not gung ho like the other ward they were going to send him to .

So glad to hear you'll all be together today - even if he is sleepy, I'm sure he will be fully aware that you are all around him. xxx

It must be so comforting to have your girls around you both and he's going to get a boost from seeing you all today.

Morning lucky. I'm glad things seem calmer now. I'm sure it will give your DH a boost to see all his girls together.

So pleased to see things are now going smoothly Lucky. I think you can be hopeful now that his recovery will be steady, going in the right direction. Thank heavens he is now under the care of someone who recognises that aftercare for a hip replacement is not 'one size fits all'.

I do hope he enjoys seeing his 'gaggle of girls' today

I will see him later this morning with all 3 DDs, as one is returning up north today and we thought it would be good for him to see his whole gaggle of girls together.

He is slightly less confused on the new medication. But he is asleep most of the time, which may of course relate to the meds. He has not been out of bed yet, which is fine. Not standard procedure for someone whose hip has been replaced, but the right thing for OH, for whom rehab would be lots of pain for very little gain, if any. It is the right decision, but hard.

How are things today Luckygirl?

Luckygirl I’m delighted to hear your husband has been moved to a better, calmer ward, and that you have faith in his PD Consultant. I do hope this will provide the much needed comfort you will both need in the weeks to come.

Today will hopefully be calmer for both of you and once he starts to get his medicines on time again he will be more lucid.

From now you will be going as a visitor, not as a full time carer in a hospital.

Same here Lucky you must be so relieved, hope things continue to get better for both of you.