Should a dying person's wishes always be honoured?

Yes, hard though it may feel do respect his wishes. Would you feel better if contact was reinstated between you? If so why not send a card and write that your response was instinctive and now you have thought about it you will respect his wishes and would value contact again. If nothing else you will put his mind at rest.

Respect his wishes - no question.

I think you should respect his wishes too. He trusted you enough to tell you that is what he wanted and thought that you would respect that. I would write and tell him that you have thought further about it and will abide by his request.

My elder sister died in the the middle of changing her will. She was excluding me and two of our other siblings and adding in our place, three nieces (one of them ny daughter)
Her will was being prepared and was sent to her for signature but did not arrive until the day after she suddenly died. So the original will stood.

I decided that I should respect her wishes and I divided my bequest between the three nieces as she intended. The other two affected siblings did not. They kept their bequests.

I believe that I did the right thing and I hope that you decide that you should do that too.

However unreasonable it may seem to you I guess that you have to respect his wishes and act accordingly.
Are you in contact with his children or could you easily avoid having to be in this position?
I heard of someone who requested an impossible to arrange funeral and the executors did the best compromise they could so perhaps avoiding contact might be possible?

I am afraid you have to even if your own instinct is to do otherwise.
What a difficult position, but do put his wishes first. He has his reasons and they must count.

I cannot imagine why you consider that you are in an awful situation.
Your relative has confided in you and you have no business in interfering with their wishes.

Would he put it in a letter that you could keep for the future when it may become an issue for you?

As someone who has asked my younger daughter that my sisters and extended family are not to be informed should I be hospitalised or die I think you should honour this persons wishes

Sorry your relative, not friend

I think you should respect his wishes
Dollyjo however you may feel about this estrangement it is your friend's decision to make. Perhaps you could make contact again and say that whilst you are not comfortable with his decision you will respect it. At least then he will have you to support him. It is a very difficult situation I agree.

I would honour his wishes, as he obviously feels very strongly about it.

I think you should respect his wishes, dollyjo, and tell him so, as it seems you were the only person close to him and he may need your support.

Do as he asks. If he has had no contact with them through choice, his wishes should be acted upon.