Hiding health problems

I have no children so perhaps it is different for me but when I was taken into hospital last year I didn't tell anyone in the extended family until I was back home. If anyone ever asks me how I am I always say I'm fine, even if I am not. I find it hard asking for help and am an intensely private person so wouldn't discuss any health problems - until they were over

This is a timely thread for me as my husband is due to go as he puts it 'play with cameras' at the local hospital next weekend. He has decided that its a fuss over nothing- I am due to go and visit my elderly mother the next day, 300 miles away and wondered if I should postpone - she has Alzheimers so wouldnt really know if Id been or not- but would need to explain to family there why I hadn't gone . Hubby says go and I know he doesn't want any of this mentioned to family. Results will be due back in approx 3 weeks when we are due to go to Spain on holiday, I being the fretful type over stuff like this, am already fretting over what if's- eg if its cancer and we're away when results come so treatment will be delayed etc. He says I'm Mrs Negative, whereas I think I'm being practical and a realist!
Sorry for length of this but its been of benefit for me to share how I feel even though not so good for you all!

I told my family when I was going for test on my bladder as they knew I was having bladder problems.turned out to be cancer. But they helped me through it. Thankfully all clear now for 10 years. Also I would like to know if any of my family was ill must so I could support them. Same with close friends.
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I always used to tell my mother she had to tell me everything about her ill health so that I only worried about the facts and not even worse things that I might be imagining, this seemed to hit the spot and worked well. In the same way I tell DS everything about DH's health but have to admit not mentioning my own health - not exactly consistent I know.

Ten years ago I found a lump in my breast. Told my husband that night and he promptly forgot about it. Went to the docs, got a referral, went for a mammogram and got a cancer diagnosis within a month of finding the lump. Immediately after the diagnosis I told my family. An almighty row broke out between me and my husband - he was screaming because I hadn't told him what was going on. I was screaming because I'd told him about the lump and he didn't give a sh** about it.

Ten years on and I've just found another lump and am waiting for a referral. Haven't mentioned it yet because I don't want a repeat performance of him forgetting about it all over again. Will see what comes of it first.

And the moral of the story is? I've no idea - you just have to go with how you feel at the time - it's your body.

My MIL doesn't tell us anything - ended up falling and fracturing her hip recently. Boy was I judged by the health professionals dealing with her because I didn't know about her health problems and medications.

My late Mum kept the fact that she had breast cancer for as long as she could.This impacted on me for the rest of her life18 years, as If she sneezed I panicked,please don’t keep things secret, they deserve to know.

I agree with Coconut. I too tell my daughter everything but then she is a doctor. She insisted I went to my GP when I started to become breathless; after six months I did and ended up with a stent in my artery.

I share everything with mine, I feel that’s what families are for, supporting each other.

Ruby. it is a pity men aren’t more forthcoming because after a friend was diagnosed with pc I suggested my dh went fir a check, and to our surprise he too was diagnosed despite no symptoms. He had his surgery last summer.
Had our friend kept quiet my husband woukd not have got checked and as his cancer was about to go through the prostate, things coukd have been very different.
We lose no opportunity to talk about it to others, there is nothing to be ashamed or embarrassed about and you could help save someone else’s life.

DH has been treated for prostate cancer and insisted none of our friends or neighbours knew. We did tell our sons and family who live far away. He said it's nobody's business but his. He had the prostate removed and has just finished radio therapy. I have found it quite hard not being able to tell anyone as I would have appreciated sharing worries with friends but I did as he asked. Hopefully we are at the end of it all but it has been stressful. I can understand his attitude as it is such an intimate subject.

I had ovarian cancer and didn't tell my family. I'd just lost Dad a few months earlier, and didn't want Mum or my adult children to be stressing about possibly losing me as well. I told them I was having a cyst removed. I only told them the truth after I'd been given the all clear. I've never felt the need to unload my own concerns on other people anyway - the family doesn't need to know every aspect of my health.

I don't tell my family either, why worry them unnecessarily?
I have multiple health problems and my family don't realise how unwell I am at times, I just carry on as if I'm fine. I'm very independent and hate asking for help.
My mother was the opposite of me and I had no life at all, as she was so demanding. If possible, I hope to spare my own children all that.
I did get found out once, when I went for a biopsy after a mammogram, no-one knew where I was and my children were all phoning each other, asking where I was. They were so upset, that I hadn't told them.

Much the same as pamelaj, we wait until there is something definite to tell them. Having said that if asked a direct question we answer truthfully, seems to work for us.

I didn’t share the news that I had been recalled after a mammogram or that I had to have a colonoscopy after a poo test. That is until I’d had the all clear.
I would have let the family know if anything nasty had been found.

Yep, count me into the 25%
I've had hearing aids for 3 years and never told my husband! (and no, he's never noticed! To be fair, I only wear them occasionally when I go somewhere where lots of people will be talking).
I don't tell the family if I have any health problems (especially if of a 'personal' nature).
A couple of years ago I tripped over in the garden and banged my head. Not wanting to make a fuss, I didn't say anything to anyone, only to wake up the next day with a black eye! So then I had to explain...
I don't know why I'm like this - I've always been the same, I remember as a young child equating illness with weakness and not telling anyone if I was ill.

I only tell my children any health issues on a need-to-know basis! Why worry them otherwise? Mind you, I'd be annoyed if I found out THEY were hiding something! I'm also one of those who won't admit to severe hearing loss, even though it has been 38 years following an operation. And I never wear the hearing aid - on the odd occasions when I have, people start shouting at me! I wish the NHS could afford sonething more discreet, or at least private firms didn't charge such exhorbitant prices.

I've always shared, because that's what my daughter insisted I do.
Just as I insisted she shared.

I don’t tell anyone anything either, unless it’s trivial. Actually I don’t particularly want to know myself!

I don't say anything until I have test results and I have something to work with. No point in all of us worrying. I feel the same way as paddyann.

Knowing I 've been unwell, my family have been asking questions! I have told them the minimum.
Don't mind saying things like ' no anaemia, no thyroid problems.'
Still awaiting last test results so will tell them a version that suits me.

I dont tell ,why would I .It just means more folk worrying when I can do all the worrying needed.My family have enough health issues of their own without me adding to them

I tell them the minimum!

I'm in that 25% (tho if kept a secret how is it known? ).
I dislike talking about my health and would never tell my children (or anyone else) anything that can be kept to myself.

I tell them everything having been in deep water from not doing so - my family made it very clear where they stand on this!