The Black Dog Gang

I have shared my problem before with friends but they really don't get it. I have been told.... it's all about you! Well yes it is unfortunately, sometimes I am so preoccupied with my health anxiety that nothing else exists. I feel so selfish and mean not thinking of others but that is the nature of this thing. I really try to put others first, but invariably remember too late in a conversation so my very few friends feel like an after thought. I feel obliged to apologise before I start my ailment list! Going out is a nightmare as I dream up many illnesses I could have whilst out, ridiculous I know. Citalopram keeps me on a level and I do go out, but it's such hard work. So glad others feel as crazy as me, well not glad they are crazy but can empathise. Having a bad day today, will put it down to the weather!

Yes it makes you self obsessed unfortunately. I too think up all the things that could happen to me. This is me going out 'I might die, faint, pass out, start shaking, have a nosebleed, be sick, start crying, panic, need the toilet and not be near one'. None of the above has ever happened. It's exhausting. My poor DH has had cancer and has never once complained. It's ridiculous.

I will join too.

KatyK so very true! It’s something to do with being terrified of drawing attention to oneself .....

Just had to deal with a depressed student today. I could empathise & suggested she went to the doctor. I’ll check her tomorrow. No age barriers with this.

Please can I join too? Been back on Prozac for anxiety and depression for 7 weeks now. Feeling less depressed but still anxious and panicky at times. I can’t believe so many of us are affected by this. I realise now that I have been anxious since childhood. As others have said I am so lucky in so very many ways and feel guilty and so angry with myself for getting into this state again. Thank you to everyone who has contributed to this as it has been so helpful.

Can I join too please xxxx

Anannymous
Stop feeling guilty and angry, you'll only make yourself worse! Pointless feelings too.

Can I join too please. First diagnosed when I was 20, 43 years ago, but looking back know I had it in early childhood. Started taking medication continually in my early fifties. It has changed my life and I am now able to enjoy life. Have been told by doc. To never, ever let anyone tell me to stop taking it. If you need it antidepressant medication can be a lifesaver. However, it is always lurking. Great idea to have a group of those who really know what it means.

Old Batty, you must be psychic, thank you for opening this up. I was vaguely wondering about posting about this but then thought I would appear very ungrateful for everything I have: two lovely, helpful and successful DDs, two lovely GDs, a DH who thinks I'm a good wife, nice house, friends, good neighbours, lots of interests, always out and about but even so the Black Dog comes over me, usually out of the blue. My confidence goes (doesn't take much to put a hole in it), I don't want to go out and mix, the urge to give up all my activities almost over whelms me. All I want to do is stay in bed (but I don't). I feel I've had enough of life and just want to die. I've never been diagnosed, I did mention it to a previous GP when the DDs were small but I have a phobia about medication and I know that the cloud will pass. And it does. My mother suffered from anxiety and depression which severely limited her life and took medication. Unlike her, I've tried not to give in to it.

Nobody needs to feel alone with this. Just post your thoughts and a friend will pass by and chat.

Sign me up too. Im in a fog since i retired. That and too many difficult life events too close together have made me feel overwhelmed and very alone

Can I join, please? I've been on a maintenance level of ADs for decades, following a life saving course of ECT.

Bless you all lovely people. I'm not entirely sure what we are joining!!! A safe space, an on line community a place without judgement. A place where we are heard and understood.

Margie
Get some help. You don't have to endure this.

It's about this time of night (8.15) that I feel much ebttger, almost my old self. Then I know I'll go to sleep OK but wake up at 3.00 worrying about trivia, and perhaps be awake till 6.00, back to sleep and wake up feeling like sh*t which will last for hours and hours.

can I join your can please.

Thank you oldbatty felt so low today then read all these posts, thank you all for sharing.
I suffer with anxiety and depression, had a very good doctor helped me back from a very dark place, sadly he retired and my current one is not helpful I always feel worse for seeing her so don’t if I can help it. Had felt some improvement this year but due to a physical injury a few months back now feel in that danger zone of going back down again due to isolation, pain and hopelessness. So once again thank you all for today’s boost.

I know one size doesn't fit all..... But please folks get yourself along to your GP. If you don't like them, ask for another one. They are the experts, give it time. You may go back a bit in order to go forward.

Meta, me new buddy... you are not alone.

We have each other..

What isn’t helpful is feeling guilt. Would you feel guilt if you were diabetic, had MS, broke a leg ?

Depression, anxiety, phobias strike , no one chooses these. For so long people have kept silent , felt embarrassed, guilt, even shame, all these do is make one feel worse.

Try.... Depression the Curse of the Strong by Tim Cantofar.

How do I join? I have a long history (can’t even say/write the word let alone speak about it) and do not talk to anyone about it. Outwardly normal, cheerful, carefree etc but inner me totally opposite. Going through bad period, can talk to my lovely doctor but contact infrequent as think my problems are unimportant in the grand scheme of things. Wish I had a faith,

Let it out here. You are amongst friends.

It's that hideous discount, the mask we wear.