The Black Dog Gang

Luckygirl were your beta-blockers prescribed primarily for your depression/anxiety or the A-fib ?

We must not let such judgements stop us speaking out , what we struggle with is what generations before us struggled with as will generations to come , we can help those to come by speaking out so they will not be afraid to say ‘ I have depression / anxiety / OCD / phobias etc.

Yes oldbatty it does sometimes seem as though it happens to the best people. I used to be one of the 'pull yourself together' brigade and couldn't in a million years imagine having anxiety/depression issues. My poor brother (for whom unfortunately there was not a happy outcome) used to test my patience. I now realise some of what he was going through. I remember a conversation somewhere once with a person saying that people who suffered with this are weak. The reply from a sufferer was 'if you had any idea of what people go through you would realise that those who come through this are very strong indeed'.

A wise psychiatrist indeed annie - so rare. I am glad you found him.

Elliepops -I would never allow myself to have that! So much ignorance still! I had a friend who has herself suffered with depression and she came and simply knelt in front of me, held my hands and kept repeating "You will get better." This meant such a lot to me.

My struggle at the moment is that the beta-blockers I now have to take for my heart arrhythmia bring my mood down very markedly after a few days - one of them turned me into a weeping heap. I reduced the dose and had a bad bout of AF during the night a week ago. I am trying to deal with a bit of a balancing act here, but as I said to the doc, I think I am safer with the occasional bout of AF than I am allowing myself to become so depressed again - without the family by my side I would not have survived that.

Nanny, that is so stupid is laughable.

Good morning gang, that's a whole thread isn't it? Things people say if you mention depression. My theory is those who say silly things like " oh I would never allow myself to have that" are probably unwell in some way themselves.

Depression seems to happen to the best people somehow!

When I plucked up courage to be open to a friend (!) that I suffered with depression/anxiety she answered by saying.... "What have you got to be depressed about, you don't know your born" .........needless to say that comment took some getting over.

Elliepops...people who have never had real depression haven't got a clue. Someone I know said "Oh, I've had depression, but I just had to get on with things and didn't take tablets". Those kinds of people talk out of their arses, and I hope they never get true depression.

GrandMareS.... I take my antidepressant at night, so about an hour after that I feel quite drowsy. MY selfish, snoring OH sleeps in the other room! On the occasions when I have had palpitations/stress/intrusive thoughts, I get up, have a milky drink, read a chapter of a book, look at old photos, anything to take my mind off it.

I owned up to a mate that I had a bout of depression.she answered,oh I would never allow myself to have that.i didn't know whether to laugh or cry.
Another woman I know said."it will pass" comforted me so much

How do others cope with panic attics, usually in the night? It’s easier to cope with during the day but at night with a snoring, selfish OH, what does one do?

Ihear you annie and hope , as it continues, the therapy helps - although I know it will be very hard. Good luck!

I am feeling a lot better - the medication really seems to help with the depression but not so much with anxiety.

Annie - it maybe that the “score” that you gave your husbands death will indicate to the therapist that you didn’t fully deal with things at the time. I am not a therapist so only guessing and hope I don’t cause any offence.

I really hope we can all leave our black dogs in their kennels for Christmas and I wish everyone a happy Christmas and thank you all for sharing your experiences which has helped me so much.

Thank you, I am trying to say we cannot always be strong, and we can cause problems for ourselves by trying to be.

When my husband died there was no counselling only tranquillisers which just stifled emotions , the emotions are still there under the deadening of the medication. It’s alright to grieve, to be angry, to feel fear . I don’t mean clinical depression but emotions from what life throws at you.

A year after my husbands death I was in a mental hospital, the wise psychiatrist stopped the tranquilizers and told me to cry, eat, walk in the countryside, that was all the treatment I had and it certaintly helped me.

Of course Annie.
The fact that you got on with what life dealt you doesn't mean that it wasn't absolutely devastating.
I suppose time heals over wounds which aren't healed, given enough time.
You're now picking at the scabs, even though that sounds awful, I can't think of a better way to put it.

MissAdventure... thanks. I hope that I can manage to feel well for longer than 2 weeks (but you never know, mental health is never predictable)

Anniebach... you had a hell of a lot to cope with, and it sounds as though you must be a very strong woman.

I think that is remarkable that you " did OK"

eilann, if I may give an example ? My husbands death, I entered the year, then thought ‘ I coped ok , comforted our little ones, had to move house,had become a one parent family, so I thought ‘yes give it 7, wrong, it was hell , I was frightened, distraught, use to go to the cemetry and if no one there lay flat on his grave, I scored not my feelings or how his death devasted me but how looking back I did ok.

Know what you mean Annie -sometimes feel like telling therapist what i think she wants to hear! Tell her/him next time - or e mail revised version.

Breast stroke here, powering through the water because they are quite large but rear end dragging a little.

I hope so MissAdventure, i had to write a time line and email it to the therapist marking happenings 0 to 10, no problem , now it is a problem , realised I scored happenings as I taught myself to think of them so I could cope .

Oh that sounds very positive, Lynne.
Long may it last. (At least 2 weeks!)

How is everyone? I feel brighter today. I'd been in a terrible state of anxiety all week, about a health & safety issue at work. It's all sorted now, and it was a great day at work yesterday - I say work, it's more of a social club! I am off now for 2 weeks, so time with the family will be lovely. The sun is shining today too.....and I'm getting the Christmas tree up at last.

Can you see that it might benefit you, down the line, Annie?
Or is it too early to tell?

Started EMDR treatment, difficult