DH in such pain!

You may be interested in looking up Wiltshire Farm Foods - they have a menu and you can choose as few or as many meals as you like which are home cooked then delivered frozen to your home. They are reasonably priced considering that they are home cooked with good quality ingredients. You could have a "proper" meal alternate days and something on toast or an omelette on other days.
If your DH was your carer perhaps you could get another carer until he is better? Firstly to help you but secondly, because if it is seen that you can not only manage without one but also look after DH, you could possibly lose the carer's allowance.

Synonymous, as your husbands carer, you are entitled to a carers assessment from social services. They were very helpful to me when I looked after my mum. Everybody who cares should be offered the assessment, which will take note of (and hopefully supply) what is needed to ensure you can continue in your current situation. Also, with regards to pain meds, sometimes the 'slow release' ones are good, so that pain doesn't get out of hand, as its much harder to get back under control if it gets too bad as the effects wear off.
Fingers crossed you're both having a better night.

My husband fell off a ladder and broke his back.
After he was patched up and sent home on crutches, and told to walk as much as possible, he still had a lot of pain in one of his feet. The other foot, he had a broken ankle which had been pinned.
A few months later it was discovered he had a fractured heel, which had been missed on the original xrays.
Could that have happened, synonymous?

Thank you synonymous we are on a long journey but with little likelihood of light at the end of the tunnel -unless it is an oncoming train!
I know there will be no happy ending, just perhaps another crisis, moving down to another level, never getting quite back to where he was before and so on, but I am an ostrich by nature and prefer not to look too far ahead.
I was assured that the RAIT/RAHT Service is not unique to our area, maybe you have to jump up and down and shout a bit.
Assuming you are in receipt of Attendance Allowance could you not use some of that to buy in a little of the help you need? An hour a day on weekdays or even alternate days?
(Galen would laugh at me as it took me over a year to get round to filling the bl**dy form in)

My thoughts exactly Luckygirl and also my needs didn't come into the equation at all, it was all about DH. So often I think that these things are all about interpretation and not all areas get it right. You were certainly blessed Maw hope all is well for you and your DH now.

I think it was more about "this is the procedure we follow" -rather than addiction Montanagal Something on the lines of "the computer says no"!!!

Well DH all tucked up now and so I hope we get a good night. Good night everyone, you have been a super support.

When our 6 weeks was coming to an end I looked into private agencies and found that £16 -18 an hour seemed about the average and they would do anything (within reason) in that time, dressing, washing, help with bedmaking, personal care even meal preparation. Not giving meds or lifting and I think shopping might have been out too because of money changing hands. I haven’t gone down that road (yet) although I am tempted as helping/supervising a shower is about half an hour and “helping”paw dress can take another half hour by which time I am knackered!
Internet shopping, ordering prescriptions online, a freezer full of easy cook food (chicken or steak pies, fish , fresh sauces such as parsley, fresh bolognese sauce , frozen veg, carrot batons, cauliflower florets , chopped spinach) small sliced white loaves, a dessert or two etc all mean we don’t starve even if I often don’t have the energy to cook from scratch but are better than “ready meals” and saying Yes please if a friend offers to get shopping or help in any way.
Apologies if I am teaching Grannies to suck eggs but survival (yours) is the name of the game. Oh and snatched afternoon naps whenever possible.

"supplying someone to supervise and encourage us to prepare our evening meal" - well what the hell use is that!? It sounds as though Paw and Maw got the proper help. That is what you need.

I always smile when you see on TV people who have wonderful high-tech wheelchairs and aids etc. Most people have to go to the Red Cross. When working with people with disabilities I had a right royal battle on my hands to get folk anything vaguely resembling the help and the aids that they needed.

When Paw came out of hospital he was assessed as qualifying for a 6 week program to rehabilitate/enable him to function more independently with Carers up to 4 times a day, OT (mobility aids etc) and Physio although the latter wasn’t as proactive as I might have liked.
www.cnwl.nhs.uk/service/milton-keynes-reablement-home-team-raht/
Is there nothing similar available where you live? I wasn’t at first keen on the idea of our home being invaded by “social service carer types” but how wrong I was! We settled for 2 visits a day, helping Paw with washing or showering, dressing, catheter care but most of all supporting me on a steep learning curve. Sometimes they were here for 30 minutes, sometimes an hour.
I think you sound as if you need much more support both for your own sake and your DH’s.
Do ask e.g.the District Nurse service at your surgery to direct you.

Dear Synonymous, I'm relieved that your DH and you also are getting much needed help from his Dr. As was stated, the squeaky wheel gets the grease. Please continue to post as you will be in our thoughts.
You have come to the right place to let out your frustrations,
Such good advice from the posters on this thread. I do agree with you about getting prescriptions filled. Pharmacists and Doctors seem to think that a person will become addicted to pain meds when a person is in severe pain. I don't believe that is entirely true.
Hopefully, you can both get much needed rest tonight.
Hugs from cold, snowy Montana ?

Keep talking to us synonymous. There will always be someone to listen. I’m just sorry you are having such a tough time. It sounds as if there will be some straight talking tomorrow, good for you. Hope you can both have a restorative night.

Just saw the messages on wheelchairs. We initially borrowed one from the Red Cross but when DH was allowed to use crutches he 'graduated' and clearly is not keen to go back to a wheelchair especially as he has been told by the surgeon to try and get off the crutches now. Hopefully we will find out tomorrow if there is anything intrinsically wrong or if it is just because he is not really ready for increased weight bearing. There is clearly a fine line between too much and too little weight bearing, I just wish we knew where it is.

Thank you for replies again.

I do have help from the pain clinic and use meds and a tens machine which keeps everything fairly manageable although the exhaustion side is still difficult. When energy is non existent like it is today we just have something like Alpen for meals which is ok and won't kill us even if not exactly ideal.

We did have 6 weeks of help when DH was discharged from hospital but it was only supplying someone to supervise and encourage us to prepare our evening meal. It was not to actually do anything physical. There were days when it was just not possible as I was unable and sometimes the ladies who were sent would assist even though they were not supposed to. It was such a strain that it was a relief when they no longer came. We celebrated that first night by me going to the local chippy and getting our meal! You have to laugh or else you cry and it makes you just wonder who thinks up these wonderful schemes. And yes, I do appreciate that the intentions are good!

Having had a tussle to get to speak to a doctor this morning we had a friend collect the resulting prescription and take it to Boots who had to be persuaded to dispense the meds today and not tomorrow. Our friend had to be very insistent or they would not have dispensed the Oromorph but they would not dispense the Zapain because it was on the repeat prescription even though the frequency was being increased and DH does not have enough to wait for the 4 days we are supposed to wait. Fortunately I have similar meds which I can share with DH but that is not the point and hardly ideal. What if we had no access to the drugs needed, what were we expected to do? I intend to share my feelings on the matter with them tomorrow after the appointment with the GP who will also be fully informed. If we get no apology their HO will be informed about the whole matter. You really couldn't make it up could you - and we just don't need all that on top of everything else. Whatever happened to the patient/customer being at the heart of everything? L
You shouldn't have told me to keep posting I am certainly letting it all out now!!!

And Red Cross will help with wheelchairs long term loan

We got a wheel chair last year from Age U.K.

pleased there was some respite synonymous. The pain clinic could be a good idea for you. I found them unbelievably helpful with CFS/fibro symptoms. Wishing you both a good nights sleep and an understanding GP tomorrow. If you can’t get your husband there please do ask for a home visit, a very reasonable request.

PS If he is lying about in bed again, he needs to wiggle his toes and circle his ankles to avoid DVT.

Have you had a district nurse visit? If you are dealing with his nursing and personal care, they may be able to provide help - in various forms - maybe items of equipment. And do you need folk to actually hep you with the physical stress of all this - maybe carers coming in?

This poor man was obviously seriously battered. What a terrible strain for you both.

You need to ask for all the help you can get - even if your stoical OH resists!!!

That's better news Synonymous.

It's no joke suffering from a continual nagging pain nor sleep depravation is it.

Can't be of any practical help but here are some flowers, wine and a virtual hug! ??
P.S. Don't neglect yourself and give your nearest and dearest a bit of a nudge. Somebody might be able to spare a few hours, just to give you a break. ?

How lovely you all are and I feel truly blessed by all the responses, thank you!
Dr came out eventually at 4 am but he was very good and gave DH an injection of morphine. He said to ring our GP which I have done and after a tussle with the receptionist the duty Dr rang and has arranged additional pain relief. Have texted friend to collect prescriptions and get them made up. Hope he can do it as I don't want to leave DH. GP wants to see DH tomorrow morning to check everything out so I hope I can get him there. I have decreed bed rest for today and so far he is complying! Don't know whether I should be pleased or worried but I am certainly amazed!
We are back to 'latrine duty' with bottles etc which does not do much for DH's morale but it saves a lot of washing.
DH was in three different hospitals for weeks and then in wheelchair for 3 months but I couldn't push him as I have had a stroke and also ME/CFS or Fibromyalgia - they can't decide which but the effect is the same. So it is back to cabin fever for a while as we had to return the wheelchair and I couldn't manage to get him out or back indoors anyway. DH had multiple fractures and injuries so it has been very difficult but most are fairly well healed now except the ankle/leg. DH was my carer. It is very hard at the moment but at least we still have each other!
DH is still under the care of the Orthopaedics at the local hospital but they are very short staffed so the appointments don't come as they should. I do take the point ref the squeeky wheel! DH is a stoic but I tell him that is not helping really and he is actually fighting for his future - and mine!
Providentially I am expecting my 'little sis' to come for a few days which is a real blessing. Everyone in the family is so far away but they care very much and do keep in contact. They are fully committed work-wise so I doubt they will be able to come and I will not ask for that reason.
I am glad I posted as you have all helped me - albeit made me cry! But that was good too as it popped the tension.

In 2012 my DH was in terrible pain while he was waiting for an operation on his spine. He couldn't lie down and was sleeping in an armchair. After one dreadful weekend I went to see his GP and asked for help. I walked out with a script for morphine. He didn't know I was going to see the Dr. Have a word with your husband's Dr and see what he suggests. Hope things improve soon.

Synonymous I am so glad that you did post on here. It's a great place just to be listened to and as you can see, people do want to offer support. I'm sorry for the situation you and your husband are in and hope that there is an improvement soon.

Synonymous I notice you said that he can't bear to put his foot on the floor, although he has been advised to try and come off the crutches.

As others have pointed out, this does suggest that he is getting worse rather than better, and it's really important he see someone about that.

Having been injured in an accident last year, I had followup appointments at the local trauma outpatient clinic, and was also under the care of the polytrauma team as I had a selection of injuries. It sounds as if your DH is in the same situation, so he really needs - whether he wants to or not - go down one of those 2 routes. Would he be more susceptible to the idea of an outpatient visit?

If this is a retrograde situation it definitely needs investigating whether DH likes it or not. Perhaps an x ray is needed to check nothing has gone wrong. You may also need medical help for the muscle spasms in the leg.

Once checked out, a pain clinic sounds like a good idea.

Also, to help speed up healing, magnetic therapy may help but it has a mixed press. Maybe also infra red treatment, the pain clinic might arrange that. I would think he needs to move the leg as much as possible, even while lying down, so that the blood will circulate. Perhaps a light massage with Aloe Vera would help? It must be hard for you both, keep asking questions and being a nuisance until you get some help.
How long has he been home? He must be very bored and you are unerstandably worn out. Can he sit in a chair and play cards or chess etc? Does he have friends that come and play games with him, or warch tv and have a beer? Have you got a wheelchair in which he can sit with his leg out if necessary so that he can be pushed out for a change of scene or to a pub? There are organisations that can help. Don't be afraid to ask, you need to stay well and strong in order to look after your DH and he needs to understand this.

Not self indulgent indeed. There is nothing worse than watching a loved one suffer and being powerless to do anything.

I hope that the doc has been able to sort something out. I agree that if things have gone backwards he needs seeing again; and that there will be a pain team at the hospital who should be involved. Round here the expertise of the hospice is sometimes called upon - you do not have to be terminally ill to tap into this.

I share your frustration. OH has PD and he has been sobbing his heart out this morning over various things (incontinence, inability to move in bed) and I can do nothing except hug him. I have no magic wand.

But I do think that there is something to be done for your OH's pain - relief is possible. Poor chap - being in pain is utter misery.

Keep on posting!