Anxiety and the famous

Very interesting post. I lose confidence very quickly and feel inferior to other people. Went to a friends party at the weekend and feel that that she manages everything much better than I do. Am overweight lazy,hoarder etc. Trying to fight it but it's difficult. And it makes me anxious.
I do believe in small steps. And writing lists to plan solving the problems.
Small things make a difference. Asked about an eyeliner at a store the other day and it gives me a boost each time I use it.
Remember when I was working, handing over a patient to another ward if you sounded unsure they would ask lots of questions. Took a patient to ITU and made an effort to confidently rattle through the information. Lo and behold they accepted all the handover and I went quickly back to my ward.

OP- radicalnan mentions several things I would have suggested. Perhaps start by sitting quietly and breathing slowly and deeply for a few minutes. This morning I almost didn't bother to go to tai chi. I did go and, as ever, found an hour's gentle exercise with a calm but humorous leader left me happier in mind and more confident in body. Looking at autumn leaves and sunsets also helps.
If you feel like it spend 5 minutes writing, writing anything which comes into your head. No need to show anyone unless you want to share, this is yours, for you.
Many people I know personally have benefitted from reading 'Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway' - one gradually emerged from years of crippling social anxiety and OCD. He also had help from a local hospital and contact with a Buddhist group.
I hope life improves for you.

I know that it's a terrible cliché, but that saying "feel the fear & do it anyway" seems to work. The buzz one feels after tackling something scary, helps when the next scary situation arises. I also find the advice to fake it helps (even if you are having difficulty controlling shaking hands & legs) I live alone, so have very little choice, as I have no one to do these things for me. Oh to be one of these people brimming with self-confidence!

Hi Daisydoo2. Have you heard of Charles Linden? He was a sufferer and has devised a method which has really helped, in fact cured, many, many people. I’m in no way connected so not gaining anything from this by the way. You can buy hard copy or a download. It isn’t cheap but I urge you to go online and have a look, just google......The Linden Method or Charles Linden.
I also recommend Dr Claire Weekes books....’Self help for your nerves’ or ‘ Peace from nervous suffering’.
Anxiety is dreadful and can ruin lives but it can be made manageable and even cured. Good luck

Some good advice here, which I will attempt to take! Anxiety has made me very self centred. It's 'what if I die, faint, pass out, collapse, shake, have a turn, can't speak. What if my ache or pain is fatal? .'... me me me.
Never mind that my poor husband has cancer (in remission). It's all about me and I hate myself for it.

I have had panic attacks and depression and anxiety for years, tried all sorts of things. Honestly, I think most people have this going on at sometime in their lives and just get on with it somehow because they have to.

We are not very in touch with our feelings, people often tell me they are anxious when they mean excited, depressed when they mean sad. Nothing wrong with any of it and we do get to make some choices.

The market is flooded with self help books and the NHS provides Mindfulnes and CBT, so it is something that millions are coping with and they are all walking about, going to work, getting the shopping etc.

I find not watching or listening to news of any kind, no documentaries that might be upsetting, even soaps which are all doom and gloom, can help, we are burdened now but non stop anxiety making media reports and dark programmes.

Try to do something physical everyday, something intellectual, something emotional, something social......

You need to keep your own inner energies flowing.

All the celebs claim to have things which they feel will keep them in the limelight, especially since the royals have started their angst fest, you need to ask yourself if it benefits you in some way and if it doesn't, take some time off.

Give yourself 2 hours a day when you are completely distracted by a good book, hot bath or film whatever takes you mind off it, and then extend those 2 hous to a morning, when you go out or have a mate round sometimes these modern conditions of anxiety etc are just routines we set ourselves.

Take control of it, you might not be able to get rid of it (I can't) but you can manage it better.

There is a general increase in anxiety amongst most of us simply because life is not as settled as it used to be in our pasts. Rush, rush is all around us and the frenetic ways in which some people have to work goes into our subconscious.

However, there are things we can do to help. Getting out into the countryside and just enjoying a walk is one of them. Getting back to nature is calming. Get away from traffic and noise. Take time to rest out there and just contemplate the sky and scenery. Do that as often as possible.

Exercise is also good. Using a good gym at times when it is quiet and you can proceed at a pace that suits you rather than feeling you must 'improve'. If there is 'music' see if you can get it turned off or down. Close your mind to what is around you and simply enjoy the exercises.

Meet some like minded friends occasionally with no time limit. Regardless of the quality of any drink use a quiet cafe or pub. If you have a good public park nearby visit that and watch other people, or ducks, swans etc., from a suitable vantage point.

Take control of your life rather than your lifestyle taking control over you.

the latest brain research has proved that faking it works. So when you feel scared act brave and you will become it. Smile and you will feel happy. I know it sounds trite but it is true. Believe it. You can do it!

I'm sure there are apps for phones which have mindfulness, etc on. I don't know how helpful they are, but was reading a review of one in a magazine, and it came out as being very worthwhile.

I'm another who suffers in the same way. I have no self-esteem - my mother made sure of that - and am anxious about meeting anyone, about going anywhere. My husband is supportive, but as a confident, outgoing man, he has no idea of how destructive these feelings are, and I try to hide them when I can. I have been on anti-depressants for years, but I also rely too heavily on my Ventolin.

My wonderful husband booked a cruise for my forthcoming birthday - we sail next week - and although I've been on a cruise before, I am absolutely terrified already. I am glad we have a balcony cabin, as I will take refuge there when necessary. My saving grace is that I was a fairly decent amateur actress in my day, and can put on the confident face, but it's such hard work.

It's good to know that I'm not alone in my anxiety, and that I'm not just a total wimp.

I find having routines help. For example, I have a checking off list for going out the door and just do the same things in the same order. My last part is actually handling the things I am afraid I will forget and saying them out loud, It sounds crazy saying, 'Keys, phone, lippy, purse, shopping list,' or whatever to myself but once I am in the routine I forget to be anxious and just get on with it.

If I wake in the night now thinking the world is about to come to an end I tell myself that it is the result of night time brain chemistry and that when I am up and about in the morning I will feel better.

I am not sure that the anxiety goes away but having a practical 'go-to' technique helps a bit.

Living with anxiety is so painful and limits so much of your life - I think you are doing well to ask GN for advice. My suggestion is to realise that anxiety, and other painful mental conditions, arise because of habitual thoughts. We usually believe our thoughts, especially if they keep coming back to us. But our thoughts are often - very often - not the Truth, and that applies especially to thoughts which keep coming back. Thoughts lead to feelings and fears. So it is well worth getting help - ask your doctor if you can have CBT, or maybe NLP (don't worry about the initials - they are ways to help you change unhelpful and unreal thoughts and replace them with helpful and realistic thoughts. That can transform how you feel)

I also suffer from anxiety and panic attacks. As a - now retired - teacher this posed problems. I overcame it by wearing my 'teacher hat' or acting out the role of a confident person. I'm still anxious being myself, but find that adopting an appropriate persona helps me cope

My late DH had bouts of depression, his DD & S both thought he should "pull himself together", it's not possible, pills didn't help him but CBT did (not always easy to get on NHS).

He would refuse to walk out of the front door, didn't want to see any-body or even talk to me at times. During one particularly difficult episode I managed to get him out of the house as I had raked up the grass the Council had mown & needed him to hold the bags open, I breezed in & said I need your help, come & hold the bags for me, he did without a second thought it broke the cycle & he could manage to leave the house again.

Daisydoo2 it's never as easy as "pull yourself together", I suffer from mild anxiety about visiting the Dentist, meeting new people & driving to strange places but as a Widow I have to force myself to do these things without support. I do agree that some celbs seem to jump "on the bandwagon" others like Bill Oddie have suffered for years & only recently spoken out.

I wish you well & hope you find your "coping mechanism"

I think celebrities will jump onto whatever the latest bandwagon is, although I'm sure they have their share of ups and downs.

"pull yourself together" just makes my anxiety worse as I am already angry that I am not in control of it. I imagine you feel something similar and then there's the guilt of letting people close to you down. My anxiety comes from PTSD: others have mentioned this was the trigger for them too. I also suffer from a problem with my nervous system which is made worse by stress so bit of a catch 22. Whatever works for you, go with it - some good advice given on here. I am on anti depressants which I hate as already on constant pain meds. I have no advice for coping to give you as I am not in that place yet but I offer my support and just showing you that you are far from alone in how you feel. We are all good at putting our mask on and pretending all is well.

I agree with you Daisy . If only it was as simple as breathing! I am not unintelligent (trumpets again). I think I have a lot to offer but am so full of self doubt and fear that it has always held me back. I do that pretending I'm somebody full of confidence thing. What a shame that we have to do that to be able to live our lives. Good luck to you too

Katyk you are definitely not alone, mine too is due to life events. James Arthur, another book promotion!, is on the tv saying breathing helped him... really.. if only it were that simple. I'm afraid feel the fear and go for it is perhaps the only way I know too. I'm trying to pretend I am someone else, who is more confident than me, when i go out today... well at least it gets me out the door! Most anxiety sufferers I believe have amazing knowledge and imaginations (blowing my own trumpet I know) so I'm trying to put mine to good use. Good luck.

I'm sure some celebrities do suffer in this way, but I also think some jump on bandwagons.

Daisy I too suffer with terrible anxiety. It is with me constantly, a tight feeling in my head and palpitations etc.
Everything scares me. Until recently I have struggled on but a couple of months ago, I was so bad I was shaking from head to foot at the thought of doing anything. I went to my GP who prescribed some mild anti anxiety pills, which didn't help at all. I still do most things in a sort of 'feel the fear and do it anyway' way but life can be pretty miserable for me and those around me. I have to say it does help knowing that others have the same problem, not that I would wish it on anyone. I put mine down to some awful life events, without wishing to say 'poor me'.

I think Gransnet is amazing if people read your post juliane and successfully take your advice. I just love the way we all help one another!

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Recently diagnosed with COPD, I have noticed that if I get stressed and anxious, my breathing is definitely affected!

The Vensir definitely helps with depression, and to a degree, stress/anxiety but at times I do find myself reaching for the Ventolin! (I'm on Fostair twice a day, Seebri once a day, and Ventolin as and when needed, thank heaven's for the pre paid prescription thing!)

paddynan, that sounds like the old "get on with it" approach. I've found it invaluable. That doesn't mean I think it works for everyone, or that it shouldn't be combined with talking therapy/meditation or any other type of support but getting on with it lacks the celebrity glitz it seems.

Paddyann that is a brilliant idea.. i have often thought if i could Act like someone else it would help... I will start with the smile. Thank you.