Counselling

I wondered if, like many of us on GN, you got a shock when you looked in the mirror because the face you saw was not the one you used to see. It happens as you get older.
But at 34 that is not surely the case.
Without wishing to sound patronising, there's a lot you can do with hairstyles and make up to emphasise your best features. Looks aren't everything.
Some of the loveliest people I know are old and wrinkly and much loved. You at least have youth on your side.

www.nhs.uk/Conditions/body-dysmorphia/Pages/Introduction.aspx

Check out this link about Body Dysmorphia - what you are describing fits with this and help is available on the NHS.

If you are only 34 you might be better asking the same question on Mumsnet. They will have some good advice for you.

I'm 34, I dislike everything about my appearance

I think it was just a question to find out what aspect of your appearance you feel so bad about. (Sorry Anya I know you are wuite capable of answering for yourself! ) But I too was wondering if this is age related or whether you are still quite young and have always felt this way?

I'm not sure wha you mean by that Anya

Is this to do with your looks as you age snowted ?

I've been like this 15 years, I can't do it on my own

Hhhmm. Why not do some reading on the subject. Try 'Mind over Mood' as a start. Still not sure how high a priority you might appear to an NHS psychologist if you give those as the symptoms. Self loathing and what it might lead you to do might be a starting point. Suspect CBT rather than 'counselling' might be a more useful way ahead. There are excellent online CBT courses available that NHS endorse.

I'm not going down the medication route so if I get offered meds I'll refuse

By self esteem I mean how I look, I literally hate how I look, I can't look in a mirror, I'm constantly jealous if my boyfriend looks at other females, I feel rubbish etc

You may be able to self refer to IAPT services in your area. Look here

Check out your local branch of MIND too here

You will have to tell your GP what the problem is and how it affects you. I would recommend you write down some notes about how you feel and your situation to take with you. It can be an emotional experience and your notes can help make sure you tell the doctor everything you wanted to say. What happens next will depend on the arrangements in your area. Good luck.

Not sure what you mean by 'self esteem issues'. Can you elaborate?

Agree with mumofmadboys, and it's so important that you see your GP, snowted. It's your first port of call, really, isn't it? Depending on where you live, you may not have to wait very long to talk to a counsellor. Not all GPs think medication is the way to go, thankfully. I hope you get the help you need.

If you specifically ask to be referred for counselling and explain what problems you are experiencing you should not be offered medication. You may be asked to do a questionnaire to assess whether you are depressed or anxious as scores for these are often required to refer to psychological services.

I suspect that you'll find that there's a very long wait indeed. Is there any other way you could access counselling other than via NHS? There is a chance that a GP might not see 'self esteem issues' as a 'medical' matter. S/he might just give you a prescription for anti depressants or anxiolytics.