cancer

Oh, have you been given treatment for your anxiety, ethel? That must be a positive step - nothing worse for your physical health than constant worrying.

I agree, you do sound perkier!

Ethel - you are beginning to sound a bit better - I do hope your anxiety treatment is beginning to kick in and make your life easier.

thank you all for your kind word, next check up is 2 weeks, Im still anxious but theres nothing I can do so I may as well enjoy being off work and lazing around the garden in the fine weather.
I know that when I get back to work I will soon be grumbling that I wish I was off. (although not for the reason im off now for).

Your GP doesn't sound the most tactful person ethel When we tell our GP that DH is responding to treatment his answer is always "That's good" rather than "At the moment" no wonder you feel worried if you aren't getting the support you need from the GP. A dear friend of mine who had bowel cancer as a teenager has to go for regular check ups. She told me that the upside is that after each one she knows there's absolutely nothing wrong with her.

I think everyone who has had a cancer diagnosis and treatment has a lurking fear of its return because the medical people never use the word 'cured'. It is easier said than done to 'get a grip'! However, my way of thinking is to be grateful for every day without the b_____d.

Check ups did tend to put me into a slight state of anxiety as I hated feeling like a patient and returning to the clinical environment brought back the fear. I've passed the 5 year milestone now and no more check ups. It is easier to put it all behind me.

Time and distance should help Ethelbags You are still recovering. Have you a Macmillan Centre near you? They provide counselling for this kind of anxiety free of charge, at least the one in Belfast does.

ethel I can appreciate that it can be difficult when you have been told that the treatment may stop because at present you are cancer free. You unfortunately will have to get through the 5 year period but think positively- it may not return.

At least if the symptoms do return you will be on the lookout and can get an early appointment to get it sorted.

As many have said before, you have to rest, you will not get better overnight.

I went to the gp for a routine check up not cancer related and I remarked that I had just been told that I was cancer free and my treatment was stopped and he said something like 'for now' in a grumpy voice. so I assume they are waiting to see if any rogue cells have escaped the surgeons knife and will appear. I have check ups every 3 weeks so I guess I will know soon enough. Im still recovering from the op although almost ok I still have to be careful with lifting etc and I get very tired. I do see the point of your comments maybe I doo need a dash of cold water as someone said. lol. It would be nice in this hot weather.

I've just come across this discussion Ethel and thought I would at a note about immunity. A couple of years ago DH had his aorta replaced - triple AAA op. In preparation it was discovered he had a tumour on his pancreas which though not cancerous could become so so it was removed. During the op his spleen was removed too. I had no idea what that meant but it means he now has no immunity. After his AAA op he remained on antibiotics for 18 months.The guideline for us was that should his temp rise above 37.5 we should go immediately to the doc or hospital emergency if it was out of hours. In all that time it has happened twice and DH admits he felt unwell but didn't want to be a nuisance!!!! but in no time his temp was reaching 40 and he started having convulsions around midnight. In the hospital I had to deal with everything in French.It could simply have been dealt with by visiting the doc for antibiotics . Now we have a thermometer like those in hospital and we know exactly what to look for. He takes no antibiotics now and life is back to normal but we have joined the 8 a day (fruit and veg) group and he loves it.We carry note of his medication with us and take no special hygenic precautions. I forget he ever had the op. Life is good and will soon be good for you again.Sorry I have gone on a bit!

I have never told ethel to pull herself together.

The mid over matter bit is different, and can work and does work in certain scenarios.

But I take your point if there is persistent anxiety involved.

If only soontb if only.

But you are not suffering from a treatable anxiety state soon. This is in a different league. Most people have got past the "mind over matter", "pull yourself together" attitude.

You say that your fears haunt you at night.
I think that everyone, for some reason, is more fearful at night. And it seems to me, that most people cant do anything about that.
I may have said before, that I ignore all thoughts at night. Well actually, that includes the ones as I am going to sleep, and all those before breakfast too! They are rubbish. So I have trained myself to ignore them.

ethel is by nature anxious and it is probably manageable most of the time - but this diagnosis and treatment has understandably triggered a more acute anxiety. Get some help with it ethel - my friend is in a similar situation and she has been given something to curb the anxiety. She now leads a full, anxiety-free life. This could be the same for you if you talked to your GP and asked for some help. Do give it a try.

I think there is a theory that pessimists are the survivors. My son in law says to me Why all this negativity? But it's a primitive response rather like the tribes who call their children names like ugly and wicked so the bad spirits will not want them and won't come and take them away. Etheltb is voicing her worst fears so they won't happen. She has already got a grip .IMO

I agree Elegran and I did post earlier that it was time she started to see the glass half full instead of half empty as she always does. However we are unlikely to change her attitude so perhaps we shouldn't try.

So have I, annsixty I have had cancer, and I lost my husband to it. I have been round the loop twice.

But having seen already how ethel always thinks the worst in any situation and how she doesn't believe good news even when she hears it from the horse's consultant's mouth, I repeat that as well as reassurance (she is getting more of that than any worried poster ever on GN) she also needs an occasional reminder that everyone is actually both working hard to get rid of it and being transparent with her about her results.

I agree that the best people to tell about her anxiety are her consultant and her GP. They have the means to make her feel better about the whole thing.

Been there, done that, got the tee shirt. What ethel is feeling is how we all felt, the only difference being that most us felt exactly what she is feeling for a long time BUT we kept it to ourselves and only admitted that dread to ourselves at 2/3/4 am. When with family,friends etc we were always positive and upbeat. Anyone who has had cancer and wasn't scared to death is not being truthful and those feelings catch up, unawares, for years. Those first few reviews were the most scary visits to make with many a sleepless night beforehand so ethel go, get it over, and then relax. It will get better.

Thanks Anya.

A good post Falcon

Luckily I've only had two benign skin cancers but my OH had cancer and my son is now in remission.

All your fears and worries are normal ethel. Cancer is one big b------. Not only that but there are all the tests, unfamiliar hospital surroundings, the operation, the list goes on.

The cancer teams know all about these fears and worries so lean on them Ethel, tell them your worries, they're trained to deal with it and TG for them and keep posting - a trouble shared is a trouble halved.

Really? A dash of cold water and a demand that she 'get a grip'.

Some people respond to lots of sympathy, some to a bit of straight talking. Ethel has shown in the past that the more soft soap that people give her the more she suspects that they are just humouring her and not telling her the dreadful truth. Soutra is administering a dash of cold water to wake ethel up out of the slough of pessimism and self-pity and get her to see the information she has been given more clearly.

You got an all-clear at your last appointment, ethel. You have had a serious op - but you came through it fine. For goodness sake stop acting like a Victorian heroine going into a decline and start rebuilding your life that has been on hold since the begiining of this diagnosis - no since the beginning of the merest suspicion that you might get this diagnosis. If anxiety keeps creeping up on you, then go to your GP and get medication for it.

You are always saying how independent you are. Now is the time to use that strength.

Quite! The anxiety seems to be more risk than the cancer. Get some treatment for your anxiety state!

I suspect Soutra was only saying what quite a few others were thinking.

What a horrid post Soutra. If you feel like that perhaps it's better to keep your opinion to yourself and not bother posting.