Daughter's illness

'Never assume anything' as my friend used to say.

Daisy I hope things went OK today with your daughter. Changing your flight times sounds like a good idea, and a cheaper option should you decide to go. Not sure how much they charge over there, but it is usually around £100 when we have had to do it from Australia.

I was desperately worried yesterday morning and felt that circumstances were beyond my control. Since then, I have had posts to say that she is responding to treatment and reassurances that she is in the best possible place. My financial circumstances are such that I cannot always act as I would prefer. I feel sure that if she continues to make progress, even slowly and with setbacks, she would prefer me to wait until the planned meeting at the end of this month, even if that has to be curtailed.

If I went now, I could just be an added burden to my son-in-law, who has enough on his plate just with working and driving 3 hours each way to visit my daughter. Also, I don't know him very well: they married in the States and have only visited us twice for very short periods.

Thank you all for your replies.

[I had to google as I didnt understand]

The word assume "makes an ass of you and me"

My brain whirls even when asleep. Occupational hazard of being me!

I cannot change that anymore than I can change my DNA

I make assumptians about absolutely everyone I meet. Doesnt everyone?

How can you not be with her when she is so very ill? You say you feel "so desperately worried". So why are you hesitating?

It all sounds very odd to me.

I am sure if an apology is offered it will be accepted in the spirit in which it is given

That dig at Soutra was a tad passive aggressive imo

Well you may think that Soontobe but I couldn't possibly comment. Maybe I have too many other things on my plate at present - don't make (more) unfounded assumptions!

If you were planning to see her in December could the flights be changed. Your profile says you had a bad financial experience so would your insurance cover the change of plan?

I am agreeing with Ana.
The op says "it is very difficult" for a reason.
Else she would just go.

The op came on here for a reason.

I have realised that computer writing is not the same as talking to someone in real life. In real life we can pick up on body language. Signs and signals of how a person you are conversing with wants the conversation to go. And of course, we may know some stuff about a person.

On the internet, we know virtually next to nothing sometimes about a poster.
And some posters do want to mull things over with other posters. But some do not, though they do want some initial talk or chat.

For instance Soutra, I have learnt about you that you do not want much chat. This poster may be somewhere in between.

Feeling for you Daisy and hope you make your decision soon and are happy with it. The problems with adult children are so much harder than when they were small and you could cuddle it better.

We can only reply to what she chooses to tell us.

Let's not "second guess" what other members' private circumstances or motives might be. It seems intrusive, even presumptuous .

I mean others, as in people who are not close to her situation.

I am thinking that Daisy has other reasons for hesitating about going.
Reasons that she doesnt have to tell us about.
A complicated family set up. Complicated finances. Her own fears about something. Her daughter may go through this type of thing regularly, so waiting and see what happens might be more appropriate. etc etc.
I do think there is a tendancy for others to just see what is on the surface and most obvious.

i hope all goes well today. Good luck to you both.

Thank you all for taking the trouble to reply to my post. The concert could do without me. I think I have to wait and see how the treatment she's having today affects her. It is very difficult. Thank you again.

Daisy, I feel for you. I have a DD living abroad and know that I would be very concerned if she was ill but it is not always practical to jump on a plane. Only you can make the decision

Daisy, it may be that you're concerned about the financial, or other implications of getting on a plane and going to visit your daughter now. She's been ill for quite a while you say; has her condition deteriorated to the point where you fear it's life threatening? If not then you can choose to go now and alter your original plans, or hope that by waiting you can manage your own anxieties until you visit her later. She has a husband who would presumably let you know immediately if there were reasons why you ought to go immediately. Would it worry your daughter if you changed your plans? Would she want you to drop everything?

In similar situations with two of my own children I was absolutely certain that they would want me to be with them immediately and acted accordingly, but only you know the dynamics of the situation. I suggest you follow your instinct. (((hugs)))

I think perhaps Daisy wanted someone to give her ' permission' to drop out of the concert. Well, if that is so we all give our permission.

Al I can add is that old cliché "listen to your heart" - it usually gives good advice

I really feel for you Daisy I (personally) would have no hesitation but you must do what you feel is right. I would hate to be in your situation being so far away from DD when she is so ill , you must feel helpless. There will be other concerts. to your DD.