Formal letters using my first name

A formal letter should address as MR, Ms , Mrs etc. Any other form is lax.

Dosnt bother me,here in Ireland we know our doctors chemists etc by first names, its nice and friendly

I tend to favor the Quaker custom of addressing people without using any style or title and using given name and family name, or whatever the tradition is the person comes from

Thus: Dear Anne Jackson

I don't mind too much unless I have written a strong complaint letter about something and they assume that by being familiar I'm going to capitulate.

Don't you find that it's not usually the name that your friends call you anyway? I don't like the "Hi" that comes before it either.

I agree with Fleur20 but it does not particularly bother me.

We Gransnetters cover a wide age range.

I can imagine that those at the younger end of the range are much less likely to be annoyed by use of our first name than those at the older end.

I'm in my mid 60s, and don't mind it.
My mum is in her 90s, and i have heard her complain about it occasionally over the years. But some of that has been when the person addressing her looked little more than a child to her (though might in reality have been their 30s or even their 40s).

It bothers me when a formal letter just uses my Christian name. I’m not friends with them so they shouldn’t assume they have the right to be over familiar with me. I feel it’s crossing a boundary without my permission.

AGAA4

I was annoyed when my SiL addressed a letter to me as Mrs James A.....
Not only lost my family name but took my first name too. She claimed to be a feminist.

A friend I knew since aged 11 addressed a letter to me under my husband's first and last name when we were in our 30s. I was astounded and admit to finding that rather annoying. 😒

No not in the slightest. It’s my name after all. Much prefer my first name called out at the hospital, as they never pronounce my surname correctly.

I was annoyed when my SiL addressed a letter to me as Mrs James A.....
Not only lost my family name but took my first name too. She claimed to be a feminist.

I’ve been a Ms since the late seventies. I kept my family last name when I married mr i in 1982. He died almost four years ago, not sharing a last name didn’t stop a very happy life together.

Formal letters - bills, receipts, appointment confirmations, letters from DWP or HMRC all seem to use my surname. The thing that did annoy me was when texts from my GP surgery started addressing me as MS. I complained because it felt as if my late husband was being airbrushed out of my life. They went back to calling me MRS.

When a salesman addresses me as David the barriers go up others can call me whatever they like as long as it's not late for lunch

I always worry when people use my full name, it always means trouble of some sort!

I much prefer to be adressed by my first name.

I don’t like my first name Patricia as the staff in my father’s hotel used to call me, Pattie or Patsey etc which I hated. Even though my mother came from Eire it was my father who chose the name

I don’t mind being addressed by my first name as long as it’s not abbreviated in a way I don’t use.

I agree especially when you don’t know the person. It happens on phone calls as well. I also dislike it when my first name is shortened by someone I don’t know.

Oldfrill, completely agree. Whythe Miss Ms Mrs thing ? - .men don’t !

I'm more annoyed when people use my abbreviated first name because I don't like it and I always use my full name. They don't ask either. So it would be Ches instead of Chestnut. 🙁

I'm really not keen on abbreviations of any kind!

I was pleased when my carpet fitters called me Mrs ‘Smith’ rather than the ‘ Hi Cabbie’ I got in an official letter this week, but if I am asked, I am happy to be called by my Christian name.

Greenfinch

Just lost my message yet again. I think I am going to stop sending any posts as as often as not they just flash off and are gone forever.

I've had this problem as well. Even when writing this to you. think it could be something to with flashing adverts and poorly written and designed software.

If you are going to write more than a few lines. Copy it and store it a draft email.

Then delete it after it has been posted.

Hope this helps.
🤞

How things change! I remember the emphasis on formality when I did my secretarial course in the late 1970s. Always put a title on the envelope etc etc. I've got used to being called by my first name face to face and in letters. Recently I've been getting quotes for some building work and many of the builders are very young and all but one called me by my first name face to face and in email quotes. One asked how to address me.

JudyBloom

I like to keep my name formal, being addressed as Mrs for business. There has to be a distance kept from being too friendly if any problems arose, it is also a matter of respect.

That was my point upthread. It's all very well being pally when everything's going smoothly, but if things go wrong a professional distance is useful. I suspect that's why it happens though.