Friends using messages instead of picking up the phone

Eloethan

Some people don't particularly like talking on the phone. I have never been that comfortable, unless I know someone really well. Without visual cues, I find it difficult to judge the mood of the conversation or when to speak.

My reluctance has nothing to do with the advent of texts but I have read that young people are extremely reluctant to use the phone, and some are actually fearful of doing so. That is presumably the result of people living their lives online and feeling more vulnerable using a less controlled method of communication. I can understand that in a way - with texts you choose exactly when to communicate and what to say - and have time to consider how you will reply.

Eloethan Some people don't particularly like talking on the phone.

Me - I hate to waste time on the phone.

Some people don't particularly like talking on the phone. I have never been that comfortable, unless I know someone really well. Without visual cues, I find it difficult to judge the mood of the conversation or when to speak.

My reluctance has nothing to do with the advent of texts but I have read that young people are extremely reluctant to use the phone, and some are actually fearful of doing so. That is presumably the result of people living their lives online and feeling more vulnerable using a less controlled method of communication. I can understand that in a way - with texts you choose exactly when to communicate and what to say - and have time to consider how you will reply.

I'm in the habit of sending messages by WhatsApp.
I often illustrate them with photos of plants
Sometimes I send bible quotations or recipes or something that catches my eye.
At school we had to write daily diaries and illustrate them .
A childhood friend moved away and we wrote long letters to each other.
I always wrote to friends then emails became my choice.

Now it's WhatsApp .

Sorry MissAdventure, I thought you were saying you'd rather have a call
...not that you'd rather they were brief!!!

Mum expected me to chat to her for at least an hour a day. I was happy to do so but she often rang me when I was in a meeting with QCs or later with actuaries. My employers were very sympathetic but I was so embarrassed. My one and only son has followed me into the corporate world and I only contact him on WhatsApp. My landline has gone.

I use whatapp for group chats, often where some who are still working can then join when they can - a bit like GransNet really, don't you think?
I use it for conversations with my disabled brother who is unintelligible on the phone.
And with my lovely DIL who prefers her fingers to her voice.

But yes, I miss phone calls

I definitely prefer WhatsApp. Phone calls can come when you're in the middle of something like cooking, eating, watching a TV show. The caller has no idea if they're disturbing you.

A chat so much more friendly What’s wrong with the phrase is now a good time If not you can arrange a mutually convenient time A conversation can move in directions you might not have anticipated

My family is totally WhatsApp. If any of us phone each other it's bound to be devastating news.

I've not spoken on the phone for a long time now i just don't answer it at all.

I had a much loved friend, school friend, who would phone me and vice versa once a fortnight. We would have an extremely long chat and I was happy with that. Sadly, she died a couple of years ago so now my phone is silent.

I still love a conversation and feel the written word lacks the nuance of spoken language.

My sis-in-law is known for her fast typing and long texts. By the time you answer the first one, she has sent two more. I just end up calling her, since I know she has her phone in hand.

For some others, I will ask if they are available for a call. We have some lovely before dinner chats with friends of ours, all on speakerphone like we are sitting at the same table with our glasses of wine or beer. Texting just isn't the same. It's fine for messages and arranging meetings, etc.

Pleasebenice

It’s is not a single useful message or a fun photo I object to. It is a long conversation that goes on and on!

It takes two to have a conversation. Just delay sending a response until you’re ready. Or if it’s a trivial topic, ignore it.

Rarely use the phone. A group of us in WI have a group Whatsapp and it works really well.

I’m the opposite, I either like a fully WhatsApp chat or a face to face chat.

Our family all use WhatsApp a lot and we have various groups for different purposes, ditto most friends.

After my husband died I was plagued with call from companies who had purchased shareholder lists from other companies he had invested in, even though I had signed up to the system to have calls stopped. It went on for years, and it was upsetting to have people asking for him all the time. That instilled a dread of phone calls in me, and I still feel that dread when it rings. My family and friends have various groups on messenger, or use texts, and I far prefer that, we often use Zoom or messenger calls to talk in person (and we can see each other too, which is a bonus). The only person I ring regularly is my 97 year old mum.

Poppyred

I hate when the phone rings, just message me!

Another phone-call hater here, I've always hated it.
Whatsapp's OK.

WhatsApp is no replacement for the to and fro of a conversation with someone, either face to face or on the phone.

If someone rings me at an inconvenient time, I either do not pick up and ring later or I answer and say 'Can I ring you back? When would be convenient?'

WhatsApp has its uses, but in many ways it is just a watered down email. Telephones are for those enjoyable conversations with friends you cannot often meet up with, or family who are not physically close. We phone DS once a week and have a conversation that can meander over lots of different subjects. In between we email and WhatsApp, but it is the weekly phone call that keeps us close.

Pleasebenice

It’s is not a single useful message or a fun photo I object to. It is a long conversation that goes on and on!

It doesn't have to go on- just stop responding!

As an introvert I don't speak on the phone unless it's absolutely necessary - I think I've spoken to my husband 3 or 4 times on the phone in 5 years.

Messaging is so much easier.

It’s is not a single useful message or a fun photo I object to. It is a long conversation that goes on and on!

Yes....🤣

I use WA all the time, all my friends are on it plus I have certain groups of chums, family one etc.
I love the face time /video, my DD and DS both just call me on that, My DS lives about 1.30 hrs aways, so it lovely to see his small daughters, they show us what they have been doing that day.
I also speak to my neice in Australia and see what's she up to in her garden and touch base with her. Plus my chum who lives in France contacts me when she cooking in her kitchen, while she's waiting for things to cook.
So much more than a phone call.

MissAdventure

If I rang my mum, she'd just shout "Eastenders!' at me and slam the phone down.
I got her point, wasn't offended, and tried to time calls between the soaps.

😂 I know never to phone Mum when it’s on.

I absolutely hate talking on the phone . I also don’t use any social media(except gransnet) so I communicate by texts . If people answer them it’s fine and if they don’t it’s also fine . Two of my adult DGC live in wales and I’m perfectly happy with the odd text from them and would get annoyed if they constantly phoned me up . The rest of my family live very near so very little need for phonecalls when they can just call in instead of.
The only exception is my autistic teenage granddaughter who calls me when she has a panic attack but that’s fine as it’s necessary for her mental help.

I find phones intrusive, preferring email. I'll speak a moment and no longer. Our children wait for a response. I expect the same from others.

If I want to speak to someone I text them first to ask if it's a good time.