Friends using messages instead of picking up the phone

Yes, I prefer WhatsApp. You can read and respond in your own time.

I hate having phone calls. When mum and dad were getting old and dad had dementia I used to dread the phone ringing. It was always bad news. Compounded by the day my daughter was involved in a riding accident ( she was ok but I didn’t know that for ages). And also the way that, pre catchup tv, the phone would always ring when I was watching something that I’d looked forward to watching ( eg the phone rang just as I was watching the last part of the last episode of The Killing). I love the way that I can message my kids and they can message me and know that we aren’t interrupting anything. My biggest problem with being banned from Facebook on my iPad is that I can no longer use messenger when I’m away from home. I seem to have lost touch with friends that only communicate by phone and won’t email or use messenger.

I have one friend who always uses WhatsApp as she’s pretty deaf and finds actual calls difficult. Others always phone, never message, horses for courses I suppose.

Surely the benefit of messaging is that you can respond in your own time. I will look at a message and if it’s not urgent and I’m in the middle of something I just reply to it later on. You can’t do that with a phone call.

Like others who have replied to the thread, I prefer messaging over phone calls. I do like speaking to people on the phone, and can ramble on for ages, but people have busy lives and a call is often disruptive.

The beauty of messages (text, email, WhatsApp etc) is they can be sent, read and responded to when it's convenient.

If I want to speak on the phone, I text first asking if it's okay, as more often than not, it's not convenient.

Technology has hijacked some people's thought processes, I think.
I had a friend get angry at me for not answering messages.
The fact that I was at work completely baffled her, as she was at work, too.
Also the agency I worked for would get angry that they'd messaged, and I'd not replied.
Because I was At Work!

but you can always leave a message/get a recorded message anyway just on a normal mobile dial.

If I want a chat with someone, I WhatsApp them to ask when convenient.

Unless it's an urgent matter, when I would both use and expect both a call and a message. - you still have the choice to pick up but are informed as to why the urgency.

It’s modern life isn’t it? I love a phone call with a friend but what we usually do as most of us have jobs still, is to text to agree a time for a call.
Sadly so many people don’t seem to want to actually talk to each other now.

Could you say this to them?
"Sorry, fingers not working well today, please call"?Could you say this to them?
"Sorry, fingers not working well today, please call"?

Noooo! In case they phone!!

Seriously, I've one friend who sends literally walls of messages, before I've had time to acknowledge her first one.

Even my boy gets cross at me spending all evening on my phone, trying to get a couple of replies in.

We (family) use WA most of the time, but phone when we want a proper conversation.

I use WA with most friends, but have a couple who I speak to on a regular basis 'by arrangement' because they moved away before mobile phones and we would have lost touch otherwise.

With people like my sister, we WA first to see if it's a good time for a chat, and neither takes offence if the other is busy.

I often don’t get to the landline before it goes on to answerphone, but at least that way if it is important I will get back to them.
My mobile is usually on silent because it needs to be off for various activities, choirs etc, and I forget to turn it back on, so a message will always reach me.

MissAdventure

The problem with messaging is that some people expect a five hour converation.
And i can t

alk the hind leg off a donkey.
But, as above shows, I'm not very dextrous, finger wise, can barely see what I'm doing, and have a steam powered phone.

Could you say this to them?
"Sorry, fingers not working well today, please call"?

I think messages are ok for appointments , practical matters and its great to get photos, but sometimes its nice to hear a voice.

As a family we use WhatsApp all the time and face to face calls which I find helpful as I am deaf and it is all much easier if I can see them.
The only problem I find is when people don’t reply and you are left wondering whether to send another text or what, somehow the landline out of the blue feels intrusive now.

Pleasebenice

I use messages to send a single quick message but I have friends who use channels like WhatsApp to have a long conversation. I try to divert to a call but they get annoyed or don’t answer. If I am busy or even just reading my book, a long written chat is much more disturbing than a nice phone call. Is that just me?

These are not mutually exclusive. WA messaging need not involve long conversations - I don’t actually get that.
A short WA message need not intrude and some phone calls can be often intrusive, at a bad time and be hard to terminate if the other party is determined to go on and on. Or all three.
Brought up in the days of landlines, few of us will deliberately ignore an incoming call . Which is why I so often preface my call with “is this a good time?”
My Ds laugh at this and say if it wasn’t, they’d have left it unanswered (which can be VERY deflating)
Our children’s generation will look at who it is and just not pick up.
The advantage of WA is that you can form a group - eg family members, book group, neighbours and so avoid having to text separately when you don’t need to.
A written message, in whatever form can be picked up,read and replied to when it suits you

I use WhatsApp or Messenger, very rarely actually talk to anyone on the phone. We don't have a landline.
Mt son and I can have quite long WhatsApp "chats" over the course of an hour or so, both often doing something else at the same time.

The problem with messaging is that some people expect a five hour converation.
And i can t

alk the hind leg off a donkey.
But, as above shows, I'm not very dextrous, finger wise, can barely see what I'm doing, and have a steam powered phone.

I hate when the phone rings, just message me!

Phoning was fine when it was just landlines. If a person wasn’t in they didn’t answer. Now with mobiles they can be anywhere and a call is often inconvenient.
My DS tends to call often but always on the landline. Our DD uses WhatsApp. It is much less intrusive.

I keep in touch with friends and family using Messenger. The phone was wonderful when that was the only way of instant contact but now I think it has had its day. Have stopped using a landline altogether and calls are more easily screened on my mobile.

I rarely use the phone to call people and prefer to message. It's obviously a personal choice for folk. Fewer younger people actually call now and tend to use WhatsApp instead

One of the advantages of WhatsApp messages is that you can read and reply when it suits you. I have one friend who could have a long back and forth chat on WhatsApp, but if I see a message from her, I tend not to reply immediately.

I agree with Sago. People seem to ring at the most inconvenient moments . I love WhatsApp and use it regularly to communicate with family and especially with DD. We always begin the day by sharing our Wordle results and that might be all or we may continue to message throughout the day sharing our thoughts and activities and exchanging photos of the pets etc. I think it is a lovely way of keeping in touch.

Yes, I find phone calls intrusive.

I will often send/receive a text asking when a call is convenient.