Older age

I have started my own mini life audit, on the back of this thread.

Realising I cant predict 20 years time with much degree of accuracy.
But I can concentrate on thinking about what things I am doing now, and what I may want to be doing within the next 10 years.

Thank you.

No need to ask for the thread to be deleted, fancythat. Mine is only one point of view and I'm interested in what others have to say 🙂

I just deal with things as they arise, although there's lots of things I can preplan unfortunately some of the most important things, I know I can't. I'm currently waiting to see my cardiologist but last week I was in Paris at the Olympics. My health has taken an unexpected turn for the worse but I'm determined to continue enjoying my life as much as I am able.

You are young. when I was 60 I went off on a volunteering post in South Africa for a year.. I hadn't even thought about getting old.. I think the clue to how you're feeling may be that your DH has returned to work and you can't see how to move forward.
I would start by making a list of all the activities you enjoy or would like to achieve and then see how you could go about doing your favourites.. we all need some sort of purpose.
The other thing, which seems counter intuitive to that. is to really try to live in the moment and not to worry about the future..it can bring great peace in my experience, but I also meditate.. I've found happiness now I have less energy by painting and drawing and really like toe artists I've met through that.. I hope you enjoy your life fully

I've been swept along rather than planning my life, which is entirely my own fault. But at 86 (almost 87) I do feel that I need a plan. Still in good health but with some problems creeping in now, mainly with mobility. I tried and failed to get Attendance Allowance. How much longer can I cope? I wish I could formulate a sensible plan instead of just waiting and seeing.

We're in our 70s and DH took our financial planning very seriously whilst we were both at work. Managed to retire on company pensions at 52 and 54. Both my parents lived well into their 90s, and I plan to do the same, hence lots of fun to be had in the meantime. My main focus is to remain healthy and not to have falls. Both my parents died after falling - DM with broken hip and DF with a crush injury after falling trying to get back into bed in the middle of the night. We both love our life - plenty of friends, loving family nearby, no serious health issues, sufficient money. Life's great for us. Enjoy life day by day.

I am reading, and taking on board all the posts. Thank you.

We honestly just don't know what is around the corner. Therefore, take stock of what you have and enjoy or put it in a metaphoric cupboard, what you would like to have/do, and plan for it, and generally take a look around you and see what needs changing or improving. Get some good hobbies to fall back on and get out in nature walking, good sleep, good food, and good people. At best keep peace with yourself, at worst put up strong boundaries for those who don't respect you or your time.

I am heading straight towards 80 and I reckon you have to somehow accept that you can’t plan the next 20 years, if you can’t cope with planning day to day try month to month or year to year. This year we have had all kinds of plans broken by health problems we couldn’t have foreseen. I remember my mum and her friends in their retirement block worrying themselves about building works planned near by, 13 years after she died no building has been started and she and all her friends are long gone. Get out there and make the most of it.

I think like with lots of things in this life there has to be balance.
I know people in their 90s who don't realise they are old, but I do think this can be a selfish attitiude as people do care for them and want them to be safe and well.
I also know people in their 60s who are limiting their lives because they now 'feel' old without having good reason to be. These people can be a drain on your spirits.
For me it is about having a mix- old friends are a real blessing as you have great memories to share.
New friends keep you stimulated and offer new perspectives.
Keep some things the same, change others. Life your life most of all for today.
It took me a whole year after finishing work to realise I don't need to plan any more. Now I love this feeling of fluidity and freedom. I find it very liberating!

Know anyone with a crystal ball ?

Callistemon213

I'm a planner, I plan how I'm going to spend my £1m win on the Premium Bonds each month 😃

(Nothing this month)

I like your style!

I'm a planner, I plan how I'm going to spend my £1m win on the Premium Bonds each month 😃

(Nothing this month)

I never really thought about 'getting older' until recently. We've just plodded along, enjoying life as best we can, up until now. We had plans for DH to retire in 18 months - 2 years time, but recent circumstances mean that it looks like he'll be retiring sooner rather than later.

Whilst looking forward to him retiring, and finally having a life of his (our) own, outside of the demanding, stressful job he has been doing for the last 44 years, we are both beginning to feel rather anxious about our future and what lies ahead for us.

Probably, our main concerns are to do with finances, and not knowing how long we're going to be around for! We're concerned about whether we'll have enough money put by to live on, particularly if we live well into our 80s or 90s!

However, having fairly recently lost some friends who were around the same age as ourselves, it's kind of put things into perspective, and I see no point in worrying too much about the long term future. I've now got the attitude that whatever will be, will be. One way, or another, within our means, we'll manage, and I fully intend for us to enjoy our retirement as best as we possibly can! Bring it on!

Good grief 65 as old!! I shall be 80 this Christmas., with quite a lot of life in me yet.

The couple of friends who are older, are sort of sorted as to how their life may go

You / they may think that, but no one knows what might happen - good or bad. Serious illness - or inheriting a lot of money. The need / desire to change plans if grandchildren arrive. I’m an organiser too, but there is only so much you can plan for, then you have to go with the flow. But try and live your best life now.

Sorry for those who lose people young.

Maybe it is all a bit taboo for a social media forum.
I can ask for the thread to be deleted?

Baggs

"Do what you can with what you have where you are" seems like a sensible approach to me, especially having witnessed two young family members die tragically in the last few months. What's the point of worrying. Just live.

I agree

This thread has cheered me up no end
(Not!)

"Do what you can with what you have where you are" seems like a sensible approach to me, especially having witnessed two young family members die tragically in the last few months. What's the point of worrying. Just live.

Doodledog

I think I know what you mean. I am 65 now, and for the first time am realising the reality that we won’t go on forever. I knew it before, but am accepting it now. Plans for 30 years hence are unlikely to come to fruition - is there any point in planting a slow-growing tree, for instance? Even small things like home improvements now factor in possible future infirmity. It’s a change in mindset, and rather sad. Is that what you are getting at?

Absolutely what I mean. Yes.

That was in reply to Septimia post.

I was going to write 30!
This is the sort of thing I mean.
I am somewhat surrounded by people who are living to a ripe old age. Into their 90's.

It surprised me a few days ago, that that would mean, if in reverse, all the years back to when I was early 30's.
Seemed a huge long time to be older.

My Dad used to say ‘hope for the best expect the worse’😄
I deal with life by not planning ahead much except where money is concerned, we don’t have much so we save where we can for a rainy day.That’s for a new washing machine or boiler and so on.
None of us at whatever age know what’s round the corner so why worry? Take life as it comes is my motto.

I think I know what you mean. I am 65 now, and for the first time am realising the reality that we won’t go on forever. I knew it before, but am accepting it now. Plans for 30 years hence are unlikely to come to fruition - is there any point in planting a slow-growing tree, for instance? Even small things like home improvements now factor in possible future infirmity. It’s a change in mindset, and rather sad. Is that what you are getting at?