Cost of parties for four year old.

I always did my daughters' parties at home. Party games, party food and lots of fun. One year, another mum asked about doing a joint party with her dd, as we had a large building in the garden, ideal for parties. Not a problem for me. Until I found out that the mum had then given invitations to my dd's friends for a party at McDonald's for the chosen party date.
Thinking cap on. My dd still wanted her party. I invited a friend of my Mum who happened to be in a current popular childrens film and his wife, along with my parents. We did a themed party around the film, with the children bringing their books for autographs. The children who were invited were all those in dd's class who hadn't been invited to the McDonald's party. My dd's guests had a fabulous time and went to school the following day, full of stories of the games they played, meeting a film star, getting autographs and being treated to a magic show as the guest was also a member of the magic circle. The ones who had gone to McDonald's, had simply been to McDonald's. Next year, we invited the same guests to another home party, and had a few others, who had been to the McD's party, asking if they could come too. No problem, just a bigger pass the parcel to make.
No 3 dd insisted on having a party with games, albeit age suitable games, even at 16. At her 17th I didn't do games, much to the disappointment of the guests. 18th Birthday saw party games reinstated, with everyone, including several over 40's, joining in.
I wonder if any of my dd's remember?

Oreo

It’s all madness.
All four year olds need are a few fun games to play, some nice party food, balloons and if you must a magician or a balloon artist.
If in Summer all done out of doors and bubbles.

Thanks Oreo, for saving me the effort to write just the same.

Sheer madness!

The festival idea is great.

Ps. Other daughter has twin boys and they had parties at swimming pools etc but she also organised the food. And as they shared most of the friends then she said it really only cost half of the price! More expensive but not over £200 I think.

My daughter is excellent at parties at home. When her daughters were young she had a range of activities and games which were appropriate plus home made food - including things for some with food allergies - her daughter included and last year she organised a a mock festival in the garden for her 16 year old and friends - who were all excellent guests. She doesn’t have a big home, although they do have a reasonable sized garden and it was all done on a budget. The party for the 16 year old may sound a bit twee but they were all involved in the planning and had a great time. I think a small amount of alcohol was involved but def no drugs!

It’s all madness.
All four year olds need are a few fun games to play, some nice party food, balloons and if you must a magician or a balloon artist.
If in Summer all done out of doors and bubbles.

Omg! Just read the party is costing£3k. They are surely having you on. The child is four. Absolutely ridiculous. And the cheek of asking for £100 toward it!

I used to help with my granddaughters party bill when she was young. It was an offer though not a request

My daughter’s a teenager now and just does a something with a few close friends but when she was in primary, parties were at play centres or trampoline parks mostly. They’d cost about £200 but the only full class party she had was in Reception and there’s only 20 in the class. She had a swimming one in Y6 and that was probably getting nearer to £300 with pool hire, food and cake. As a preschooler she had one in the village hall which cost more than £100 when hall hire and food was taken into account. She’s also had a couple in the local park. I’ve not encountered any competitive behaviour from other parents regarding parties and certainly haven’t felt any pressure. We just had one at home as I’d just come out of hospital and we had just her cousins and a couple of friends round for a barbecue. So a lot of the comments on this thread are a bit alien to me tbh!

Seems to me much is exaggerated on MN. As if everyone wishes to be the same. Real life is, imo, far different. Gatherings in the garden or living room. Easy homemade food, cheap as chips. Done.

Young adult couples nibbling, chatting, and having a look at their children whilst drinking or not. We're not in the "over £100" set.

Best Halloween party we had was sandwiches cakes cheese and pineapple quiche crisps for the children and curry and rice for the adults. DD organised games for the children. A mum with 2 little boys knocked on the door trick or treat, heard the music for pass the parcel, ran in sat down and played! The mum was so embarrassed but I invited her in to watch so her boys could finish the game. There were about 15 extended family children here so 2 more didn't matter. The whole food bill was about £60 plus bottles of squash coke lemonade. Family brought their own spirits and beer.

My GC now 13 and 13 have had birthday parties where the whole class had to be invited. When about 4 it would be at a play centre with a space for sitting to cut the cake and have a juice. A goody bag with a few small gifts and a pack of sweets to take home. As the age increased party would involved trampoline parks, climbing centres, crazy golf then the computer game centres usually followed by pizza but, numbers dwindling down to 3 or four friends. It's the inviting the whole class even though so young that I can't get over.

I think the problem today is almost everyone buys into the instagram lifestyle and feel they have something they can post. Neither mg Gd have big parties mind you the wee one only just turned 1 in March and my DS attempted a teletubbie house, it was cute but scary my older Gd is happy with an outing with her best friend and a meal out.

Almost 50 years ago we booked the village hall for my daughter's 7th birthday. We invited the whole class because we would have been mortified if anyone had felt left out. I did all of the catering and we had an entertainer who had a white rabbit with him. The rabbit was the star of the show as far as the children were concerned. However, a couple of days before the event one mother stopped me in the village and shouted at me for not inviting her younger daughter. This woman actually fostered several children and had about five of her own. She terrorised the rest of us Mums as she was very fierce and not remotely the earth mother figure you would imagine. One of her long term foster children was my son's best friend and they are both 50 years old now and successful businessmen living in different parts of the country. They speak to each other almost daily. But back to the party conundrum. We couldn't afford to invite the whole school so I had to be very brave and tell her so. She shouted some more at me then, frankly she terrified me. But you can't please all of the people all of the time. The party was not remotely grand, just the normal sort of party food children ate in those days. We cleaned up the hall at the end of the party and it all seemed to go quite well. The man with the rabbit would take over all of the entertainment which was a great relief. My daughter's birthday was in January so by the time it got to the end of the summer term the children were word perfect and knew his 'act' better than he did as they had seen him several times by then. The rabbit was the best bit though as far as everyone was concerned.

I've seen that on MumsNet too, the question was if £ 3000 for a party was exagerated - or not. I'm a grandmother too and I know it's not longer like it was when our own children were small, altough I remember doing nice parties for them. I think nowadays going to a softplay or renting a bouncy castle is the norm, but not a £3000 party! My grandson turns 5 and will have a bouncy castle, a nice birthdaycake, some sandwiches, and a small partygift for all his friends. We rented the location for 2 hours and will do the decoration etc. ourselves of course. Read : paper napkins, paper cups, paper plates - so no posh restaurant.

Parents are anxious about leaving their young children with effectively strangers, sadly very few child abusers ‘look’ like child abusers, or perhaps even the level of safety awareness that the parents have (bleach and other caustic substances knives etc left accessible to small children). All these factors stop people having parties at home and they gravitate to organised public areas such as football at sports venues

Went to the park the other day. It was a child’s third birthday. Large group of children and parents playing in the sun. Some parents had brought a few snacks and there was a cake. Great fun and laughter for around two hours. Cost negligible I guess.

When my DGDs were in reception class at school, it was expected that the whole class would be invited to birthday parties. It was impractical to host 30 children to a traditional type of party at home, so most parents hired a hall with some entertainment or theme, or didn’t have parties for their children. Once they were in year1, they only had close friends and went to something like a soft play. Party bags had to be provided of course and cake! I’ve always contributed financially because I can, not because I’m asked to!

I wouldn't ever ask a relative to contribute to my parties. But to each her own.

My son is now 35. Around the age of 10 he would invite 10 close friends to Macdonalds or a bowling alley with face painting. I’m sure happy memories for him and didn’t cost the earth but then I chose to have an only child. We speak every day and usually go to a restaurant or cook at home once a month.
Times change and Mumsnet mothers enjoying a glass of something with the other mums sounds good to me as long as dad is driving.

Children's parties are immensely varied. Some are big and expensive and some aren't. It depends on your budget.

DGC just had old fashioned parties and certainly no parents inthe kitchen drinking alcohol.

After they were about 8. they and a couple of friends would do something together that all the family would enjoy. DGS, 2 friends went to Flamingo land along with parents and sister.

Chocolatelovinggran

Ooh yes MissA - that sounds like my sort of party.

I remember we had an ‘old school’ party for adults, with face painting,Pass the Parcel, Musical Chairs, etc, and pizza,ice cream and jelly to eat. The adding of beer,wine, and cocktails made it a night to remember!

Also, there was a party for a gang of seven year olds in my hairdressers the other week, where they all had manicures, facials, makeup, and hair ‘updos’, followed by a photoshoot, and they polished off bottles of fake fizzy and mocktails. They did seem to be enjoying it, bit I wonder what the parents will do next year.

Well I’m a pre school nursery teacher. And for a four year olds party this week they had a build a bear treat and an outing to pizza place. Must of cost a fortune.

RosiesMaw2

Each to their own.
My GS (5) had an outdoor picnic and treasure/Pokémon hunt in a nearby country park in Walthamstow.. SIL had printed off loads of Pokémon pictures and went round before the party pinning them onto trees etc. Pizzas all round (pieces of) and birthday cake and little carton of juice to drink. They also had a Piñata with sweets in it, . It was his whole school class plus some siblings and his cousin, 30-40 children plus parents. There might have been some prosecco for mums and dads who were free to bring additional eats or drinks if they wanted to. Oh and a birthday cake.
I can’t believe the whole thing even came anywhere near £100. They had a wonderful time.
It was all pleasantly “home made” and unfussy. The children could run around and tire themselves out. Clearing up was a doddle and frankly who has houses big enough to host 30-40 children anyway.
But in reply to OP’s original question, maybe they don’t!

Loads of colour printing, Pizza, cake and drinks for 30-40 children. Piñata filled with sweets and Prosecco for mums and dads for nowhere near £100. We all need to move to Walthamstow!

And don’t forget it’s a god given rule that the birthday girl/boy will end up overwrought and in floods of tears