Competitive other grandma

Grandmabattyit wasn't meant to be unpleasant I'm sorry if it come across that way . Maybe it's just the way she is looking at things , the other lady may not be doing things just to try to outdo the OP , so if she can try to see it from a different angel it may help

Great advice here.

Short and sweet, ignore her!

You sound like a great grandmother and that’s all that matters xx

I can only repeat what others have said.. your time, patience, love and being interested in her wee world… will give you a bond that will reassure you that you are cherished beyond doubt

65KL what a thoroughly unpleasant comment!

I have had my grandchildren one day a week since the eldest of six was born.
I completely give that day over to whichever child/children I have. We play, we read stories, we go for walks, yes they love playing in the sink with bubbles, they get muddy, we play outside in the summer, we garden together.
But if I feel like buying them a treat, of taking them to a theme park, I’m not going to resist, because I might be making another granny insecure.
We are very far from being rich, but what we have we are happy to spend on our children and grandchildren.

There are two gifts we can give our grandchildren, our love and our time...........both are priceless.

Don't even try to compete with the other GM. When you see your GD get on the floor and play with her toys with her, make her giggle, entertain her, give her your undivided attention - there is no need to spend money on expensive gifts, bonding doesn't come with a price tag.

Why do you think other Nana is competing with you ? Maybe it's your insecurities that make you feel that way . I hardly think a 12 month old is going to be impressed with gifts and expensive holidays ( how many has she gone on in her 1st year of life ?)
They only need love and the more people to support and love her through her life the better.
As for spending less time with the child , it happens things can't be equal , just enjoy your time with your family , there are many years ahead . Enjoy

It’s not about the things you buy your grandchildren it’s the time you put into being with them, it can all become competitive if you let it, I would be the one on the floor playing and inpersonating different voices while the other grandparent is happy to spend lots on the children but never join in the fun, don’t let it bother you love just be yourself

Don’t fret. The other nana is showing her insecurities. I’m sure your Son and DIL can see this playing out and see what’s going on.

Maybe you should try being a little more bold - and just insist on getting more “equal” time on these excursions. Keep your exchanges civil and kind between the two of you and don’t get parents involved. You are both loving and well-meaning grannies.
It will all work out.

Hopefully we’re not dealing with a total control freak.

It is the time spent doing things like reading stories, craft work, baking and just listening and chatting that will remain forever and enrich any child for life. I think it is what we all remember and value the most as adults looking back. You cannot buy that time. The gifts and wonderful holidays have a place, but really cannot beat the quality time spent together. I would just smile and say how wonderful re the holidays . Hopefully as time passes you will get to spend more time together.

It’s not a case of one thing or the other. The grandparents who pay for the school trip are more than capable of playing with soap suds, the grandparents who go toy shopping for Barbies are quite happy to sit on the floor all day playing Barbie and Ken
It’s seems to me that some of you are a bit smug, you seem to think that you can only be the loved and cherished granny if you don’t spoil them a bit sometimes

Ignore what other Nan does, be you. Children need you to care that’s it!

This is common when it’s your son is the babies dad as the mum will always turn to her mother first and want to spend more time with her.
But it’s not the money or the presents that build the special memories, it’s the things you do with them when they are with you, they soon get bored of specific toys etc but time and love make memories simple things like making dens and getting on the floor to play, having adventures and making things like pancakes etc.
Obviously she is to young yet for all of this but offers of babysitting is always welcome

Lots of sage advice here Briget, all of which I endorse. A dear, wise, friend was a grandmother before I was and offered a lot of helpful advice. One related to SeaWoozle's post. She said- don't buy things every time you see them or they will greet you with " What have you brought us?", and you will be dismayed and -it will be a situation you have created!

Grandmabatty

Ignore it. Don't compete or try to. Build your own relationship with your grandchild. It's not worth the hassle, honestly

This. My DD (in her 40s) still talks with great happiness about going to a cafe called 'The Little Nibble' for cheese on toast when she visited my Mum... Tiny treats repeated every time you're together will make memories that last a lifetime ❤️

I loved my Grannybecause of the time and attention she gave me. One of my earliest memories is of playing in her kitchen sink with soap suds. No worries about making a mess. I’ve tried to be the same with my five grandchildren. Time is the most precious thing you can give them.

My DGC other GP used to take them to a holiday park every year from the age of 6-12 years plus other treats . We saw them 2-3 times a week never spent a lot of money on treats . Grown up now, we know all the secrets and gossip, presents for mum and dad delivered to us . So my conclusion is that's how safe they they feel

Both sets of my grandparents came from different backgrounds.
My Dad's side very comfortable. Mum's side not so, I remembered my mum's parents as loving, people I was heartbroken when they died, but until now, on thinking I don't ever remember them buying me gifts I'm sure they did but it doesn't register, just them being adorable.
My Dad parents on the other hand always gave us Premium bonds as our gifts. My Dad's mum was a cold fish, not very loving. Perhaps it was as I was grandchild number 13.. she also perferd the boys, not her femail grandchildren, strange woman, I'm please to say my Dad's dad was fantastic, adored him too.

I'm my DGS's midfield when he plays football. He told me he liked me being his midfield because I always pass the ball to him to shoot. Apparently everyone else takes turns at shooting with him. 😁

My favourite Nana was the poor one. She knitted me unique toys, made me feel safe and was warmly loving.
It always upsets me that my co-grandmother feels that my wealth makes her feel the lesser grandparent but she came into the relationship with that attitude so no amount of reassurance about how her grandchild would love her made a difference. It was such a shame.

Some good advice on here Briget.
My MIL was exactly the same. Bragging about what they had etc. Buying the best of everything and trying to make my lovely mum feel inadequate as a Gran. For all the expensive gifts and clothes MIL showered on my children, they adored my mum who had nothing much to give except her time and love. That’s all they need really. Sit back and let her carry on.

Can you talk with her? Tell her how you feel? My grandson's other grandparents and we ourselves have a good relationship. We are better off than them, and yes pay for days away together. But they have their own ways with our grandson and he loves them very much too. When my DIL finally got pregnant (after 4 very intensive rounds of in vitro) we had a good talk and decided never to become competitors. We don't meet often but we ask about each-other, send each-other pictures on Whatts App etc. Our grandson feels loved by both of us and knows we are "friends". The whole family benefits of this ❣️

All GC love being bought presents but what they will remember will be the time spent with them, time playing horses on the floor with them in your back, time reading a story before bed the kisses blown and caught as they drop off to sleep, priceless.

I would never go away with the other grandparents. My grandchildren spend more time with The Others because they live nearer, but I cherish any time we have together and try not to be jealous, though sometimes it’s hard when I see the photos!

My grown up children remember my mum for the poems she taught them, the stories, the shortbread fingers she would make, taking them to watch the soldiers at Windsor castle….they are adults now but those are the things that stayed with them.