losing my three granddaughters and I'm crushed

5 years ago my son wife and 2 grandchildren moved to be near her family( you lose a son when he gets a wife!) it happened very quickly, and i went into a kind of shock for a long time, it is so painful, a form a grieving i believe has to be accepted, because that is what it is , a loss. yes you can skype etc etc, but for me the ache never leaves.I have a son dil and grandson near me ,but does it lessen the ache? no. ive thought of moving to be near them, 300 miles away but then that comes with problems of its own.Maybe Im wrong I don't know but losing family that are near and such a part of your life is so painful. I hope things become easier for you.

I do the same as you with my grandson. I would be devastated. But as my husband and I are retired, we would move too. Is that an option for you?
I'm so sorry for you

Oh my! How sad for you.I feel your pain in what you’ve written.Whether they are beside you or a thousand miles away ,children grow up and then the distance is there.My young
teenage granddaughters are not those little girls who filled my life, but I am here for them ,whether they ask me about homework or have a moan about mum and dad. You are always in their lives . Let them fly free.

With FaceTime etc you won’t loose them, but it’s time to except their not your children, they will always love and look forward to seeing you, and your wife.
Perhaps take up some new interests 62 is no age, time to start a new chapter, have you a dog ? Plenty around needing a loving home …
Now be positive and happy for them and enjoy yourselves and time together …

I think you're right BlueBelle and he didn't get what he was expecting, but I'm referring to the judgemental and unkind responses on here.

Sorry you feel so devastated. They are not dead you are very lucky. This is now the time for you and your partner to move to the next phase of your aging. There is still a big world out there and you must live in it. Lots of us have been there and yes we are sad but you can visit them in America. There is Facebook and lots of ways to communicate that our parents didn't have. Hope everything goes well .

Well I don’t think we are going to get any answers because I don’t think Davmalk is coming back either because it’s a spoof post or because he didn’t get the answers he was expecting or wanting

True, there is not much information here, other than to commiserate with you.

1) “raised them from newborns” is a striking comment. •You had custody? •Parents were not present due to circumstances? •You offered to be the ultimate babysitters? •Parents off-loaded kids onto you for selfish purposes (taking advantage)? We just don’t know enough to understand if this was a deliberate move or not.

2) If all was completely agreed too and stable and emotionally accepted… then I hear your heart. They too will be missing the both of you and it may be a tremendously hard adjustment for the children when they encounter new sitters (if both parents work).

3) What you save in $ by not having them around (food, clothes, recreation, toys) really adds up. Start your air-fare kitty now so you can afford to fly out occasionally. I’m sure your daughter will return too for important visits.
Wishing you all he best.
USA Gundy

For the benefit of UK posters, the distance from Tennessee to California is 500 miles more than the distance from London to Moscow. I live in the US and I have grandchildren in a state much closer to me and in the same time zone, but it’s still a full day’s drive to see them. I also have grandchildren in the UK and I’m lucky to see them once a year. I highly recommend FaceTime or Messenger video, but it’s not the same as being near them.

Some of the posts on here are completely uncalled for. If anyone has doubts about the motives and character of any other poster, they should report their suspicions to GNHQ, instead of making hurtful and completely baseless insinuations.

As Namsnanny says, poor bloke.

I stopped logging onto gransnet for a while because I couldn't believe how hurtful some of the comments were on here.
For whatever reason the children have been a large part of this grandparent's life and I would think that this has benefitted all involved. It may have been to help his daughter and her husband out. Now that his daughter's family are moving away there will inevitably be a huge change in the grandparent's life and as hard as this will be I'm hoping that in time they will adapt and find benefits to the new arrangement
In a world where we can make so many choices why can't we choose to be kind. Remember everyone's situation is different.

You seem to feel the need to devote your life to the grandchildren and thrive on that. Now that's being taken away it's hard. Think positive. Share their excitement on moving, visit often and get a dog to take to the park, swimming in the summer, shopping, visiting friends etc. The dog will be yours and yours alone and will return that devotion 100%. All you can do with children and grandchildren is give them roots and let them fly

I do understand how you feel as I am a Special Guardian to my lovely granddaughter and we have raised her from a toddler. In our case, my granddaughter cannot live with her birth parents due to mental health and my son's addiction. They are not even together any more. The fact that your granddaughters have a stable and loving home with their parents is absolutely wonderful. I am sure you have been the most wonderful and devoted granddad to these girls and nothing can take that away.
I think the advice to send them off with a smile and your blessing is spot on and now you can make plans to fly out to them and now enter a new stage in your lives, while also keeping that bond by means of video calls such as Facetime, Messenger and WhatsApp. Be excited about all the new opportunities for them and for you both!

You are fortunate to have grandchildren with whom you have spent precious time but times change. I have no grandchildren of my own, only step grandchildren who I rarely see as they live 130 miles away or are now at uni scattered round England. My husband is 85 and I’m 69. I hope at least my younger daughter ( in her early 30s) will one day have a child but I doubt my husband will be a hands on Grandad if he’s still around when the child is born. I have to curb my jealousy of friends who talk about their GC. Enjoy the time you have and use FaceTime or email when they’ve moved, and count your blessings. Even our children are only on loan and have their own lives to lead. Good luck

So sorry for you. You will of course miss them, but you have built up a great relationship with them which will last forever. Think about a move closer, you will be able to visit them, or they you.

Dear grandpa, I'm a mother and grandmother. My son lives nearby with wife and son. We see our grandson very often, in fact he has two homes, one with his parents, one with us. Our daughter moved to another country and lives there with her husband and two small children. I love them to pieces, but yes we have to travel to see them. It's very different, I agree. But......we, you and your wife, me and my husband, we made our own choices when we were much younger. We shouldn't object when now our children make their own choices. That's life ❤️‍🩹

..may be over reactions expression and wording if so please take a step back and reel it in ....

What would you say to a good friend to help him if he poured all this out to you ??

If you are still here please reply!!??

Nobody said life was easy, you have a lot more than many - my friend would die for a GC !! You have such wonderful memories and can still see them! Tell you what teenagers can change very much Ha
I find gratitude helps in challenging times!!

Enough said....if this is for real

You could move too.

You won’t loose them unless there is another reason they are moving . How does Granma feel about this ? Are the girls your only Grandchildren .
Wish them well with a smile on your face ! You can visit FaceTime telephone there is so much available. Don’t let these little ones be upset by your feelings

I know how you feel like a lot of other grandparents who have been the child care with their grandkids then they move overseas. It’s not easy but you learn to live with it and move on with your life. Enjoy what time you have left before they move and I’m sure they will miss you too but that’s life families don’t stay on the doorstep anymore and you shouldn’t expect them to. They have their own lives to live. Be happy for them and like others have said you can fly video call etc I know it’s not the same but that’s life I’m afraid

I know it feels like it is the worst thing in the world but if you look at strategies for you and your wife to have your own lives, you will cope. You will go through a period of grieving because it is a huge change but try not to let that show to your child or your grandchildren because it really is your problem rather than theirs.
Try to reframe your mindset to see how lucky you have been to have this time with them with so much involvement. Try to see this as an opportunity to live your own life but still have contact with them by visiting or talking through technology.
My husband's ex wife took his children away where visiting was difficult and he had been in similar circumstances to you. At the time it broke his heart but he decided that he didn't want to be the one who "ruined their lives" by making a fuss. He thought about what was best for the children because he loved them so much, he wanted that. Many years on, they have returned to our area and they have a closer relationship again. However, he knows that they may choose to go back to their Mum's area again at any time or even to a new location altogether. If they do, he will cope because it is what is best for them.

From the age of 55 your three young grandchildren have been your everything - time to get a grip - it’s not all about you ……. There seems a lot more to this than we’re hearing, if I were their Mum or Dad I’d move away too!

Perhaps they have moved with very good reason !?

mrsgreenfingers56

Reading a bit more of this post maybe the American way of expressing yourself is considered a bit excessive compared to UK ways. Don't know what others think.

I'm in the US and agree with everyone here that what the op has expressed is over the top and off.

" they are my world my best friends my copilots in life" indicates it is past time for the op to do as the wise gn's here are advising; find new hobbies, friends and spend time enjoying life with the spouse. 62 is still young from where I sit.

Germanshepherdsmum

BlueBelle

This bothers me
*They go everywhere I do, that includes my friend’s house!!!*

I thought that sounded rather creepy.

I'd be very surprised if Davmalk comes back to reply. Poor bloke.