Am I being ‘old fashioned’? Our 16 year old GS has asked to come and stay during the summer holidays with his 15 year old girlfriend. But we only have one spare bedroom. He said he will sleep on our sofa in the lounge. We do allow grandchildren to sleep on the sofa when other family members are staying. His Mum, our DD, says she has checked with the Girlfriend’s family and they are OK with her staying. But I feel uneasy and wish they were a little bit older, certainly over 15, before actually staying as the responsibility is falling on us. Am I being unreasonable and ‘old fashioned’? My DH says if the parents are happy with it then we should let them come and stay. What would you do?
Cornflakes... you have to be kidding me
So she is restricted in the room no matter what?
Wow, just wow
You could always strew cornflakes outside the gf's door each night - that would do it! - crunch, crunch, crunch!
Some posters think the teens are coming for “A” visit. No, they’re coming for the entire school holiday
Did CrazyMazy say that? If so, I missed it.
I thought they were coming during the holidays for a short visit, Gundy.
Apologies I read your post again and you said your dd has spoken to the young girl's parents,
No doubt you have already discussed these issues with your grandsons parents, who will have been in contact with the girlfriend's parents to discuss the visit.
As you say you may need to get up a few times during the night but that is normal as we age.
Hooe all goes well.
They are only coming for a short while. We live in quite a rural location with no buses so we will all be going out together.
There are some places of historic interest nearby and local shops. Just hope the weather improves so we can get out and about!
Theexwife
Judging from some of the replies here, there must be some members that have very disrespectful grandchildren with such a poor relationship that they wouldn’t know if they could be trusted.
I think you have made the right decision, you must be lovely grandparents that have a grandson that not only wants to stay with you but also introduce his girlfriend.
Equally likely, these members were the sex crazed disrespectful grandchildren and are projecting what they would have done!
CrazyMazy I hope you have a wonderful visit
I read that they would like to visit ‘ during’ the summer holidays not for the whole time.
Some posters think the teens are coming for “A” visit. No, they’re coming for the entire school holiday. In England, I do not know how long that is - weeks, a couple months? (In US it’s three months)
That’s a lot of work for Grandma. That’s a lot of keeping track of where they go all the time.
The NICEST and most respectful young people (g’frnd/b’frnd) have hormones. 🥴 They will always smile at you saying they just went for ice cream.
Both sets of parents would love to have the summer off and send kids away. We don’t know if they’re having sex - but there’s always the first time.
It sounds like you’ve made a sensible decision that you’re happy with. This couple may or may not be in sexual relationship, if they are, even though the girl is only 15 (no mention of when she is 16) It’s most unlikely, even if someone were to want to prosecute your GS for having sex with a younger, under 16 year old girl, he’d be found “guilty” of statutory tape given they’re so close in age. Enjoy the company of two lovely young people. X
I would not have a problem with it. Both sets of parents trust them.
Is there some reason they need to come and stay with you?
Sorry, my comment should read,
I agree with VioletSky. ☺️
MerylStreep
Callistemon
You forgot a chastity belt for the girlfriend. 😂
😁
Callistemon
You forgot a chastity belt for the girlfriend. 😂
I think I’d be ok with it if both sets of parents were. However I’d come right out and speak to my grandson about my concerns and about his responsibility towards both my own wishes and to his underage girlfriend. Knowing my daughter she would have already had this conversation with him! She probably would tackle the girlfriend too!
I absolutely agree. Have the conversation with your Grandson which will show you have respect for him as an adult and believe in his sense of honour. He will appreciate the fact that he has your trust. Plus he will think twice about losing you and your husbands respect and run the risk of your disappointment.
I’d be absolutely fine with it the parents have given their permission. My gripe would be what are the boundaries about times they have to be home at night that would concern me more.
Judging from some of the replies here, there must be some members that have very disrespectful grandchildren with such a poor relationship that they wouldn’t know if they could be trusted.
I think you have made the right decision, you must be lovely grandparents that have a grandson that not only wants to stay with you but also introduce his girlfriend.
Marmight
Perhaps this lovely grandson just wants to bring his girlfriend to stay with his GM for many reasons other than sex!? Talk about guilty until proven innocent. After all this dissection of his private life, whether under age or not Id stay well away if I was him. What happened to trust? Just make the boundaries clear or , I suppose, you could always booby trap the spare room door should anyone dare to open it after the 9 o clock curfew and lock him in the sitting room until breakfast time? Perhaps they just want to spend family time and play scrabble with his old Granny (rather than strip poker which most if you imagine is going to happen). 🙄
Yes!
Why assume they're going to have sex?
A bucket of water on the top of the spare room door sounds like a good idea 😁
Or lock the grandson in the garden shed at night.
Under 16, not under my roof.
I think I would be asking g to speak to the girls parents personally and if they are truly OK with it I would probably agree. I would also be likely to say "stay on sofa" and hope he would.
Sorry Naughtynany but I thought I WAS being a responsible Granny. We often have grandchildren to stay and they do seem to like being with us and are respectful to us when they are here. I just wanted to draw on the experiences of other Grandparents in this instance and find out how they felt.
We are not irresponsible and we seem to have managed OK bringing up our own children. We do not have any intentions of letting these young people come to any harm whilst staying with us.
The girl is under age. I'd simply say to GS that you have no issues with whatever they do EXCEPT for the fact that it's not legal to have sex with an under 16 and you would rather they didn't do so in your house. Both sets of parents have said it's ok for the pair of them to stay so, apart from making your view known it's not really your responsibility to enforce this. They may not even be planning on going all the way anyway. If they want to have sex there's plenty of other places they can do it so not exactly easy or even possible to stop them.
I’m very open minded about certain things, but I do feel 15 & 16 is just too young to spend the entire holiday under your roof as they will go off and do what curious teens do, no matter where they are, day or night. They’ll drive you nuts‼️
I say NO
USA Gundy
I am shocked! I am in my late 70s and shocked at how many Gransnetters automatically think the grandson and his girlfriend intend to have sex at his grandparents' home.
All I read was that the grandson had asked if he and his girlfriend could come to stay, and he would sleep on the sofa as there was only one spare room at his grandparents' house - a perfectly respectful young man.
Good decision CrazyMazy!
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