Unbiased Help Needed

Have I misunderstood? From the OP it sounds like it the father of the DIL who is encouraging them to move abroad, not the OP's son.

Of course, it’s up to the young couple to do what they think best for them.

The OP seems to think their new life won’t affect the girls family much, they have the time and money to make frequent trips to visit them.

Not the same for OP.

I can imagine how she feels, and sympathise.

We went abroad and left our parents behind. Quite honestly as much as we loved both sets of parents we only considered ourselves at the time. It is their lives and I know my mum missed me hugely but they came over and had a ball and we came back and saw them. It was a terrific experiment and not to be missed. Just provide support and let them get on with it.

Respectfully, if your son and his wife are adults, why do the grandparents think they can map their lives out for them?

I think you all need to get off the young couple’s back and let them decide their own future.

You have done a fantastic job of bringing up your son op. He as you say has found a wonderful girl and they have a baby now,I think you have to stand back and be happy that he’s happy, I do however understand how you must be feeling, is there any chance that they can come and visit you and stay, or you go over once a year, there are ways of keeping in touch throughout the year it’s not going to be the same as seeing them of course but it is easier now than ever. Please don’t feel rejected.

All you can do is support whatever decision they make. It’s not reasonable to expect them to make decisions centred around anyone but themselves. They may go, since your son has always wanted to travel, or they may stay, since your DIL is more a homebody. Either way, you’re best not pushing or pulling.

I fee I suppose rejected and unthought of. Advise please

Your independent son wishes to live abroad/earn well? Seems he spoke to you about it and feels it will "work out". Sounds good, what is the real problem that I obviously missed?

Looks like it's just a possibility, right? It is it confirmed?

Either way, just talk to your son when the date of moving (if it comes to that) is confirmed - how you would keep in touch

You said your son has an adventurous spirit, so this seems something he would do, with or w/o dil

What does it have to do "treating dil as a member of your family" with your son's answer " it will work out"?

It is unrealistic that they would make your wants a big factor in their decisions

Bottom line: don't blame your dil for a decision your son is also taking

I wouldn't even discuss this with my DIL's father but let my DIL know that I would support her in what she wanted to do if she felt it was the best for her. You may well find that she doesn't actually want to go anywhere but her father just wants somewhere to holiday if he has ants in his pants. Try not to feel rejected (difficult I know), if she feels this is the best thing for her child, it might be and nothing is written in stone. If she is a home body, she might find it harder to be away than her father thinks.