Kissing grandchildren?

We didn’t kiss our grand babies , hugged yes, but it’s the parents choice isn’t it, their child their rules

Witzend

Surely being made to kiss sundry relatives as a child - I do remember the bristly (male) and whiskery (female) old great-aunts/uncles I hardly knew anyway - is a bit different from kissing the top of a young baby’s lovely downy little head.

Yes, absolutely.

Surely being made to kiss sundry relatives as a child - I do remember the bristly (male) and whiskery (female) old great-aunts/uncles I hardly knew anyway - is a bit different from kissing the top of a young baby’s lovely downy little head.

Philippa60
I think what you are getting here is mainly "opinion" but what you should really be considering is the science.
I know you specifically asked for opinion and wanted to know if "no--kissing" was normal.

I think the short answer is yes. It is normal amongst those familiar with the latest understanding of wellness/disease in babies.
It's the safest option until the baby is fully weaned for reasons given.

I think, as others have said, parenting has changed a lot over the years.

It starts in the womb - women are now encouraged not to smoke or be around smokers. In 1960s women were told that less than 10 cigarettes a day was ok. Women are told no alcohol is safe during pregnancy now as well.

Breastfeeding is now known to be best for baby and most pediatricians recommend waiting to feed babies anything other than breastmilk or formula until they're six months old.

It's now known that buggies for babies and young toddlers should face the adult and that if a child is facing away a lot it impacts negatively on their development.

We learned (the hard way, unfortunately) that back-sleeping is the safest sleeping position for a baby, as it greatly reduces the risk of SIDS. Some babies died because they were simply the "wrong way up". Then there are the baby-sleep-bag things. I can see they work but it does look sad to me to see them (albeit content) sleeping in a sleep-bag. I loved tucking my babies up.

Car seats are mandatory now in the UK, USA etc. No more cuddling and settling babies on the back seat anymore.

Babies are now familiarised with dental hygiene very early. I'm sure I didn't bother till my babies had teeth!

Just SO many changes - and these ate the ones that just popped into my head.

....Just go with the new evidence. Kissing babies is not normal anymore.

A little bit off topic but definitely related. Over protective parents don’t help their children, they hinder them. Children need to experience the world, and often aren’t allowed to. It starts with the introduction of the baby to grandparents and other family members and family friends. The baby in the OP is now five months old and not allowed to be with anyone other than parents and grandparents. Socialisation starts early, it starts when the baby starts to ‘take notice’ and is to be encouraged. During Covid all baby/toddler groups were closed and only key worker children allowed to go to nursery. And what did we learn? We learnt that the socialisation of young children and the language development of young children was hindered, badly in many cases. If we had but looked, we would have undoubtedly found out that immunity to common viruses was also adversely affected.
Children are born into society. Initially a baby will be cared for entirely by its parents, but it should quickly be moving into wider interactions and experiences. These parents are over the top protective. The grandparents are adhering to their rules, after all, what choice do they have? But the rules are over the top and unreasonable. Unfortunately the real problem may well come later on when this over protected child starts to interact with others. I hope the socialisation doesn’t suffer, but it may well. And we wonder why so many children have mental health issues today. Over protective parents are one of the reasons.

Well yes, I agree children can sometimes be over protected but what you’re talking about there Fleur is bacteria and children building up there immune systems.

As I found out last night with my Googling, babies don’t have their own immune system till they are weaned. So they won’t build up anything till then no matter what you expose them to.

150 miles and rail strikes at present prevent me from visiting my very new (2 months old) GGD. I am longing to see her, cuddle her, talk to her and hear her 'talking back' to me. Kissing her comes well down in my list of priorities. I can think of many more ways of showing her how much I love her. Kissing a baby is for the kisser's satisfaction, not the baby's.

I brought up 6 children on a farm , they helped muck out the byre , brought in hay , cut silage , had cats as pets ate sand from the sand pit , three of them have allergies

Summerlove

Fleurpepper

Yes, a bit extreme. And this is how allergic children are 'formed'- but it is their rule, and as you have already accepted, you have to follow them. I'd find it very sad too.

No. It’s really not.

Not just about kissing- but about very limited contact with others, and little contact with dirt, soil, nature - over protected, over cleaned and constantly disinfected. Specialised medical research proves just that. As a specialist told me recently 'I've never had an allergic child from a farming family'.

Not worth arguing about and spoiling the visit, in my experience.

Fleurpepper

Yes, a bit extreme. And this is how allergic children are 'formed'- but it is their rule, and as you have already accepted, you have to follow them. I'd find it very sad too.

No. It’s really not.

I'm not a 'kisser' but I like hugging - but only if offered.

Chestnut

I'm not a great fan of kissing, and certainly not babies for the reasons above. I would hate to pass anything onto a young baby. Holding them should be enough and when they're older a nice hug is just lovely.

I think so too, when a baby.
I am a great hugger and kisser of older grandchildren though.

OK, I get it, this is all very interesting stuff and of course I am not kissing the baby!! Was just fascinated to read the different opinions here. Thanks all!

My son is 7 months and we were told about the no kissing rule by health visitors.

Parents are just following what the medically trained are telling us.

I went back to NZ from Australia to help my daughter when she had her first baby. I'd had all my Covid shots, Covid test negative, up to date with immunisations (I'm a nurse). Spent four days with them, changing baby, bathing baby. Came time to leave, wasn't allowed to give my grandaughter a kiss goodbye, very upsetting. Don't know when I will get to see her again.

A great screenshot from the article VS posted a link to.

I doubt that the parents would be worried the baby's toys have herpes on them. Unless of course. The grandparents has put them into thier own mouths.

That is a different concern I suppose, something for Frued.

They could put the toilet seat in their mouth and it would still have less bacteria than a human mouth

I wonder how these parents are going to cope in a few weeks time when the baby puts everything it touches straight into it's mouth?

Tim Spector is doing a lot of research into it on the ZOE app. I’ve been talking pre biotics and probiotics but they give me terrible wind.

To tag onto the issues with babies under six months:

I'm a nurse and I've worked in a couple of very remote communities. (I live in Canada and we are talking about communities that are literally fly-in only. They're located in a northern territory.) Nurses up there work expanded scope and can diagnose and treat common medical conditions as a doctor is not available except by phone. (Visiting specialists come periodically for a week at a time but that's it.)

When I took the course to go up there, we were taught that if we saw a baby under 6 months who had a fever, that baby needed to be Medivac'd out to a hospital. Babies under 6 months should not have a fever because they are protected by immunity from the mother.

THAT'S how serious illness can be in these little ones.

When someone is coming from another country, they can also carry germs that aren't native to the area and to which local people have no immunity. This is not to say that people from other countries are The Great Unwashed or anything of that sort. It's just that the normal bacteria and other germs they carry as part of their normal flora can be different - and those germs can be dangerous for a small baby.

I'm with the parents here.

Yes, all the research of recent years about gut health could be the next big breakthrough, I think.

If people will pay attention to it?

Lathyrus: I know this is a deviation off topic, but I just listened to a podcast last night on how our gut health controls our entire health system.

The theory being looked into is that diseases like Parkinsons, Autism and ADHD could have a link to leaky gut syndrome.

The podcast I listened to is "Stuff You Should Know: Your Gut is Also a Brain" if you want to Google it.

*could