Looking after granddaughter once a week

Oh, I'd just like to say, that the time you have with your young grandchild will pass so quickly, it's not worth falling out over?.... Maybe your daughter expects you to just say you are going on hols and she'll have your back, as you do for her? It's such a precious time, regards and good luck ?

I have taken care of GC one day a week for many years . It is easy for AC to forget we are getting older! Whenever we go away I gave sufficient notice and my daughters are always able to find alternative child care. Much as we love our AC taking care of their children is us doing a favour for our AC - it is not the other way round! This is not a job where we have to ask the boss for time off, AC must be made to realise this fact.
Our method works for us . Tessam , please speak to your daughter and gently gave her the ground rules. She probably doesn’t understand how you feel. Even when our children are well and truly adults they are still in ‘ child’ mode and think “ oh Mum will do it” our generation have given huge amounts of free child care and our AC have come to think that us the way things are done . Even one day a week is a huge commitment . AC must realise that we must not be taken for granted. Please do not feel guilty about this. You are entitled to feel ‘ put on’. You obviously have a sound relationship with you daughter , use that basis to communicate with her. Go for it and I wish you well.

twinnytwin

I think that sometimes DC think that grandparents love looking after their GC that they forget the hard work that goes into it. If you're also still working, you'll so enjoy having a few days off to yourself - especially if your DD isn't at work. Have a chat with her.

Yes, most grandparents love spending time with their DGC, but it is tiring, especially as grandparents and grandchildren get older.

A difficult one, I know! We have looked after one of our grandchildren every week for three days. We have never broken our arrangement. We offered to look after them. We did not wait to be asked. Our DIL has been away a good few times on her own and we looked after our GC as normal. I di think it a bit cheeky not to think that we night like to go away. I know ask if she can let me know her holidays so we can book to go away. I never mentioned the fact that she had been used to going away on her own. Could you try this>

It’s s good idea to discuss all this in advance and glad it’s been of help to you.

Hello
I too will be looking after My Grandaughter for one day a week soon so I'm also interested in any replies ...We have spoken about holidays vaguely but you have prompted Me to have a proper chat .Thank you

Thanks all. The consensus is to talk to her which I will. I think it shows the importance of discussing expectations before embarking on arrangements like this so as to avoid unpleasantness down the line.

That is really thoughtless of her. You must talk to her because the longer this goes on the harder it will be to make changes especially if another gc comes along...as they tend to do.

She needs to talk to you in advance about her holidays and you need to be able to say you are not available certain weeks as you are going away. Or you may just want a day at home to rest or catch up or do whatever, and if they are home then there really is no need fir you to look after your gd then, unless you want to.

Like you we did one day a week fir over 10 years and there were times when we felt a little tired/taken fir granted and I often wished we hadn’t committed a day and been a bit more ‘as and when ‘ but that would not have worked for her job wise.

Talk to your daughter and agree on babysitting terms - to be clear is to be kind

I think that sometimes DC think that grandparents love looking after their GC that they forget the hard work that goes into it. If you're also still working, you'll so enjoy having a few days off to yourself - especially if your DD isn't at work. Have a chat with her.

In a good way, let your daughter know you feel put upon and aggrieved. Tell her just what you have said here. I would hope that with a thoughtful daughter (as described) a solution could be found in short order as long as you both are communicating clearly.

Sit down with a coffee and have a chat about the way forward in the future regarding you having holidays and time off, if she is reasonable I’m sure it will be fine.

If she becomes unreasonable then at least you can tell her the rules for the future!