Worried

How old is the GC ?

thewellworried, please don't read too much into it. Nobody should be expected to like someone all of the time and kids are expert at seeking sympathy from another.

You only really know what you witness when your daughter is with you. Perhaps she sees time with you as 'down time' and feels that you can take over childcare, she can relax? Maybe she's completely different when she's alone and feels in charge.

My own daughter admitted to being 'snappy' when with me. She felt exhausted, at the time, and that she never got a break. She felt somewhat jealous of the easygoing, happy times I had with her child.

My granddaughter was delighted when I put her mum on the naughty step for being nasty!

How old is gc?

Is the child fed, clean clothes, etc?

Maybe she means the mother doesn't play with her?

My 2 kids want my every minute to be dedicated to them and it is exhausting not having personal time.

Honestly, I wouldn’t take it as a big thing. If I had a dollar for every time my kids didn’t like me, I’d be debt free!

My youngest told me he didn’t like me, and I was the meanest Mommy ever. Why? I put his brother on time out. For standing on youngest’s head!

Kids are learning to handle and process emotions. Everything is big. “Mummy being on her phone.” might simply mean, “I wasn’t allowed to use Mummy’s phone.” or “Mummy asked me to quit running around and shrieking like I was on fire while she was on a call.”

Hard to know.

Is your daughter a single parent? This time of year can be incredibly stressful for everyone, so I wouldn’t doubt that plays a role too. How is your relationship with your daughter normally?

How old is the child? This s significant so not really possible to comment helpfully without that information

Be careful when you talk to your granddaughter, it's easy to ask leading questions. Stick to why, when where if she volunteers information. Leading questions with children can lead to exaggeration very easily.

I'd wait until you and daughter are alone and ask her if she is OK, is she struggling? Is there any support you can offer?

Parenting can be overwhelming and exhausting at times.

I'm glad I am a Gran now as being a parent is hard work while children are young.
Children will say they don't like a parent if they feel aggrieved about something they have not been allowed to do for instance.
Your daughter may be struggling to cope if she is snippy with her child.

I hadnt asked questions. My grandaughter told me while I was playing with her. Shes a happy little girl most of the time and I was sad to hear her say this. Shes 4.

theworriedwellI understand how upsetting that must have been with your 4 year old GD.
Something similar happened with my GS when he was around that age. I asked him why he didn't like her and it was just that she had forgotten to kiss him that morning.
I told him he had a lovely mummy and people get busy and forget things.
He is 18 now and adores his mum.
I would find out why your GD said this as only then will you know if it's something or nothing.

Maybe mum had said no about something, 4-year-olds are rather fickle. Maybe your daughter is only on her phone when you are there, you cannot know how she is when alone with her daughter.

I would just tell her that mummy is lovely and point out nice things she does with her daughter.

Kids say all sorts of things. They can be very manipulative. Unless it’s obvious that she’s not being cared for properly, or she becomes more insistent about it, I would play it down for now. The last thing you need is to have contact cut off, then if there really is a problem, you won’t be round to see it.

Just watch from the sidelines. Most likely will amount to nothing.

She is 4!

Please do not anything to your daughter.

This is not a fish you want to fry, not worth it

At 4 years old "I don't like..." is just an expression to describe a feeling at a particular moment. She is still learning how to experience, process, and manage emotions.

You say that you can't say anything as it will make the situation worse with your daughter and granddaughter. Are there wider problems that you are facing in the relationship with your daughter? If so then I would focus on trying to sort those out, if you can. .