Thoughts please !

And potentially a huge burden to place on a fourteen year old if something goes wrong Rosina.

If the 'childminder' is under sixteen the parents are still legally responsible for care of the baby. If something went horribly wrong - choking etc. - would a childminder of that tender age be competent to deal with it? In all honesty there are fifteen year olds with more sense than some people twice that age, but even so it does seem a young age to take charge for so many hours.

No.

No I don’t think it was a good idea to leave a baby with a 14 year old looking after it, in a dirty house and a alcoholic mother being there, sounds a bit of a shambles to me, poor baby! But it seems your DIL and your successful son don’t have a problem with it,

Lucca
I see no point into getting into an argument about the rights and wrongs, Someone who is able to talk to the people concerned should be assessing the true picture, and the first place to go is Social Services, not in an accusatory way, but to ask them to check up on the situation.
There's a horrible case in the news at the moment about a child possibly killed by its parents. How would you feel along the line if harm came to this child and no one had expressed concern?

I was left to look after my 6 month old sister and 11 year old brother for 2 weeks when I was 15 years old. My parents went on holiday, we had an ‘adult’ friend of my parents staying who decided to go home after a few days because she’d argued with her sister! I was a very grown up 15 year old but I wasn’t really happy being left in charge because for one thing I didn’t really like babies very much (still not keen, prefer dogs) and my brother was more than a handful. I was extremely nervous and annoyed to begin with as I knew it was going to be hard work but at that age too I wasn’t aware of all that could of gone wrong because I was far too young. So no I do think it’s wrong even for a few hours to leave children looking after children as babies are not dolly’s even if they are well behaved. It’s too much responsibility for one so young and not fair on the teenager if something happens. I do remember telling my parents when they returned from their holidays in no uncertain terms I would never babysit again and to never ask me. If people want a baby they shouldn’t expect to leave it with another child to look after. Both my brother and myself are in our 60’s now and we’ve discussed this recently how it was totally irresponsible to have left my sister at home with us just for a holiday.

I’d say NO to this. It would never be right. What on earth was your DIL thinking?

Surely it’s illegal, isn’t it?

Too much responsibility regardless for a 14 year old.
Irresponsible to ask of any child to care for another for such a long period of time. I’m wouldn’t have wanted my child to have that on their shoulders nor would I want my baby to have to rely on a 14 year old. That said……unless we know the circumstances how can we possibly make judgement, could anther adult have helped? Or was the 14 more able than an adult of more years ?

I used to babysit when 14 for a baby and a toddler, no problems whatsoever
Think young people are very capable if we give them the opportunity to do so.

Too much responsibility to put on the shoulders of a 14 yr old. Very unfair and selfish.

I think there are a lot of grey areas with regard to leaving children alone.
I'm sure it used to not be allowed if you had an open fire, or something.
As for leaving them in charge of a younger child, I wouldn't know.

Thought the legal age was 16 for a babysitter?

Cossy Confusing isn’t it? I scrolled back and OP says “the girls mother is an alcoholic “ not “the babies mother” .
I can understand LIZZIE60 asking for opinions , and think it very unkind to suggest she is jealous as someone did . I’d be quite anxious being left with a 3 month breast fed baby for 5 hours as an experienced mother and grandmother .I think it is completely irresponsible and I’m wondering if the babies mother has post natal depression to do such a thing.

Can't be bothered with reading the whole thread, so if someone's already said this, I'm just reiterating it.

If the 14yr old at the baby are siblings, legally it's OK but the parent(s) is/are still responsible if there are any issues.

If they're not siblings then the 'babysitters must be minimum 16yr old and again, the parent of the baby is responsible if there are any issues

At 15 I was asked by friends of my parents to babysit their 3 month old while they went to the cinema. They were going to be away for 3 hours and said the baby would not wake up during that short time. If course he did! and when I went in to cuddle him he screamed his head off. We had never seen each other before. It was a nightmare! Luckily the parents returned about 20 minutes later and all was well.

I got paid 5 shillings. It was my first babysitting job.

The 14 year old daughter of an alcoholic may well be extremely responsible as she probably has to look after her mother! Children of alcoholics mature very fast.

Cossy I think it was Enid who mentioned the op pops on and off with the odd thread. Perhaps she's decided shes got enough answers to satisfy her?

That was my thought katie1950

No definitely not it's not fair on the 14 yes old to give her so much responsibility for so long

I’d love the OP to come back, please ! So many unanswered questions and so much confusion ?

Who is the alcoholic mum with the dirty house ? The DIL or the 14 year old’s Mum ??

Did she report them to SS ? If she did is Son still speaking to her ?

If she was that concerned why not just “pop by” and check ?

It’s all too odd !!

it does sound as if the girl was probably looking after the baby better than the alcoholic mother, if you have concerns for your grandchilds safety then please report it, maybe social services are already involved, have you checked? as others have said you get a bit nippy if others do not agree with you. by the time i was 14 i had been looking after younger sibling for 5 years and yes one was a baby, maybe this 14 year old is very capable as a lot of 14 year olds are these days.

Germanshepherdsmum

I fear the OP has left the building...

She came back a few times, but how much more can she say?

Grannygrumps1

There are laws and rules and regulations about these things.
My understanding is that a 14 year who is not related to the baby is not allowed to look after them on there own.

There is no law relating to whether you’re a relative or not !! See my previous post

The law This is taken from Gov.Uk

The law on leaving your child on their own
The law does not say an age when you can leave a child on their own, but it’s an offence to leave a child alone if it places them at risk.
Use your judgement on how mature your child is before you decide to leave them alone, for example at home or in a car.

The National Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Children (NSPCC) says:

children under 12 are rarely mature enough to be left alone for a long period of time
children under 16 should not be left alone overnight
babies, toddlers and very young children should never be left alone