Thoughts please !

When I lived in USA it was the norm to get a baby sitter of 14 or 15 to sit for a few hours a day or night.

The parents wouldn't necessarily even know the sitter either!

I fear the OP has left the building...

I wouldn't expect a 14 year old to take on the responsibility. In this case a breastfed baby could be very chippy about being given a bottle for a start.
I got told off by my mother for leaving my 6 month old son with an elderly (much younger than I am now) unmarried aunt on one occasion for exactly the responsibility reason.

Yes, that's the main thing.

I think as the OP posted just after midnight it’s been two nights and one day if that makes sense, so it seems it’s been longer IYSWIM?
The thread is definitely spooky though and I hope the baby is safe, whether with the mother, babysitter or OP.

NO , NO , NO. Not fair to the baby or the girl. 5 hours!! ?? A 14 year old will not have the emotional maturity necessary for such a task. The reasons behind this post are not important, however leaving any 14 year old so long with a baby is IMO reason for concern.

Oh sorry, I didn't realise that.
I've seen a few people say that threads seem to be sinking without trace when they have new posts on.
Weird.
Maybe Halloween has made everything a bit spooky?
We need a witch emoji.

MissAdventure

Well, she did only post the question yesterday.

Something very strange is going on here as this thread has been running for several days but all the comments are now showing as happening yesterday.

Oh I wouldn't at all.
Not if I felt the baby was being put at risk.
People keeping "their nose" out of it has ended in tragedy far too many times.

Ultimately, it’s none of your business who they leave the baby with. If the parents including your ‘successful in his field’ DS have decided they are suitable then that is entirely up to them. I’d suggest you keep your nose out of it.

Well, she did only post the question yesterday.

Doesn’t look as if the OP is coming back.

As a direct answer to your question.....No, I wouldn’t. However, this doesn’t sound like a straightforward household, and it may be the 14 year old is more capable than the mother!

I think a lot of the information that has been added would have been much more important than the information in the original OP and now it's all a bit of a mess.

Lizzy you should talk to mum, find out why she didn't choose you to babysit and find a way to put to rest past problems. If you report her for this, or confront her another way, she legally has done nothing wrong and you will just make the situation worse

Lucca I think you are correct.

ElaineI

I can't understand from this the relationship between OP and the baby??? Or do you just care for the baby sometimes and no relationship?
My DGC were all breast fed and would not take bottles so that would worry me if the baby had no food or fluid for 5 hours.
If the mother is alcoholic maybe the baby is better off with the 14 year old. Many are fairly mature. Generally I would say not a good idea but too many unknown issues to make an informed comment.

OP is grandmother to the baby.
Baby’s mother went out.
Baby left in care of 14 year old neighbour whose mother is apparently alcoholic and lives in a dirty house,

I would not report it to Social services as it will have huge repercussions on your ongoing relationships. I would agree the set up is ill advised but in daylight hours I am not sure it is illegal. I would try and be non- judgemental and offer to babysit ,in a relaxed way, if ever they need a bit of help. Try not to worry. It may well have been a one off.

It really depends on the 14 pyear old. I'm assuming if anything went wrong she has access to emergency contacts, neighbours etc.

You mention mum usually asks you, why didn't she this time?

How do you know this is exactly what happened Lizzy60, I can’t imagine your DIL has told you?

I can't understand from this the relationship between OP and the baby??? Or do you just care for the baby sometimes and no relationship?
My DGC were all breast fed and would not take bottles so that would worry me if the baby had no food or fluid for 5 hours.
If the mother is alcoholic maybe the baby is better off with the 14 year old. Many are fairly mature. Generally I would say not a good idea but too many unknown issues to make an informed comment.

There is an 11 year age gap between our eldest and youngest, the eldest didn’t babysit her siblings until she was 16.

Enid101

The OP confirmed in an earlier post that the child is her GD.

In a previous thread back in August, she expressed “frustration at seeing things done not the way I’d do them”, and “relationships have just survived”.

She also tells us that she has four children all of whom are successful in their chosen fields.

If everything the OP has written is true (dirty house, alcoholic mother, leaving child with unsuitable sitter etc), it sounds as if her DIL needs more support from her ‘successful’ partner. It seems unfair to put all the blame on the DIL who is still in the fog of very early parenthood which is very tough.

I hope you find a solution and wish you all the best.

Confusing but I thought the alcoholic was the mother of the 14 year old sitter and the dirty house belonged to them not DIL

If I’ve understood this correctly, Lizzy’s 3 month old grandchild was taken to the (dirty) house of an alcoholic for the alcoholic’s 14 year old daughter to babysit, alone, whilst Lizzy’s daughter-in-law went out for five hours. The baby is breastfed but the 14 year old was left with ‘a’ bottle to give it. Really only one bottle? No I don’t consider it is acceptable to leave a baby alone with this young girl or in these surroundings. Why the 14 year year old was chosen, and why at her house rather than the daughter-in-law’s, we don’t know. Perhaps Lizzy could explain that (is the 14 year old related to the daughter-in-law or is the alcoholic daughter-in-law’s friend (Lizzy has presumably been inside the house to know it is dirty), also whether she thinks it might happen again.

As others have said, I would be concerned for the baby and for this young baby sitter. If anything were to happen regardless of whether or not it was due to something this young lady had done, or failed to do, the trauma for her could be life changing.

I would be very concerned whether or not the baby in question was my GC.

Hithere

So the problem is that you were not picked to babysit the baby, I see.

Wow. Horrible, judgemental comment.