How often do you see GC 1 hour away?

I think it's very important (and polite) to do visits by arrangement and not just turn up no matter what the distance is.

Thank you for your responses. I'm aware that all families are different and there's certainly no right or wrong, just whatever works for all involved. I was just curious to see what the most common answer was, and to see what might be considered too frequent or infrequent. I guess it's a tough one also because depending on mobility the distance is nothing to some but quite far for others.

We live just under 2 hours away from ours having moved away 4 years ago when we lived 10 minutes away.

We have 4 grandchildren aged between 7 and 14 . We see at least one child every school holiday for a few days alone ( more than one in the longer summer holidays) . Then we see them in pairs if their parents need us to have them for a weekend. We also see each family for a whole week in the summer holiday's.

On top of that we travel back for an overnight about once every 4 weeks.

So whilst we don't see them for an hour 'pop-in' we do see them for longer amounts of time than we did when we lived closer.

I live about 45 minutes drive from my children so visit my 4 week GD on a Tuesday morning, then collect my grandson (he's 5)from school at 3.15 then drive him home where I stay overnight and spend the next morning with my other GD and then head off home.

I love it ( as do my children!)

Am about an hour 20 minutes away (if no tractor or motorway issues). I go to see DGD every week and have done for several years. They come down here 4 or 5 times a year.

It is as long as a bit of string. No one publishes of tables showing length and regularity of visits plotted against distance.

Each family amicably works out what best suits them with the parents of the grandchild having the last word.

Do not become a grandparent from hell always comparing how much time they spend with their DGC with the other parent's family and complaining because it isn't equal to the millisecond. Accept what you are offered with grace and gratitude.

I think we re talking to ourselves

Our daughter and her family live an hour and a half away from us.
They used to come here fairly regularly but there are more commitments at home for them now eg swimming lessons, school, plus a new baby this year.

We had been going there and staying in the Premier Inn, but that meant we were at their house most of the weekend. My daughter's partner works away all week so we're conscious he needs his home and family time.

Earlier this year we bought a touring caravan. We've found a great site 15 minutes from their house. Last weekend we stayed there and at their invitation spent Saturday afternoon and evening at my daughter's house.
On Sunday they had a friend's lunchtime birthday party, then domestic things to do so we had the day to ourselves in the caravan. It was a nice balance.

We're going over for half-term week and our granddaughter is pencilled in for a caravan sleepover one night ?
We're thinking of going over once a month and I think it's going to work really well.

Ours (are about a 1 1/4 hour drive away, and we usually see them about once every week or ten days. But this week I’ve been staying since dd is away for work so have seen them every day since Tuesday. Home tomorrow (knackered!) since the other GPs are coming to take over.

I live just 15 minutes max drive , from all my grandchildren. I see the little ones about once a fortnight for about 2 hours and it’s usually on a Sunday (morning, at one house and evening at the other.)

We look after our little grandson a couple of times a week and usually see him with our daughter another day. However we know this will change next year when they will be able to access free nursery care and also later when he goes to school. Also I suspect our daughter will want to go back to work full time rather than her present part time. We moved to be nearer to them, but with traffic the journey can take up to an hour each way. We've been fortunate to see him so much and build a great relationship with him. But totally accept we will see less of him in future. So long as they're all happy, that's good enough for us. Every family is different though.

Kim19

My answer would be spasmodic. Sometimes a feast or a famine totally depending on what their committments are. I'm very aware of this as my own lovely Mum used to give me a hard time over not seeing enough of us and there was I busting a gut to keep everybody 'serviced' and happy. Difficult indeed! My family are a busy lot with both parents working and attending all sorts of clubs and hobbies regularly. I sometimes get a bonus call to 'babysit' when some plan or other goes wrong but other than that the definites are birthdays and other celebrations. Visits between each other are totally by arrangement (of course) and, I think they know I would like to see more of them but.... I have the time and they don't. Furthermore, there are other GPs to be considered and they live at the other end of the country to me. I really think time pressure is huge for them nowadays. After writing this I'm doubly aware how lucky I am to see them at all!! Thank you.

This sounds very similar to our situation. Our GCs are 11,12 and 13 so not tots any more. Of course we'd like to see them more often, but four or five times a year seems to be the norm at the moment. They're all busy people...

I would agree with everyone here. It depends on your own circumstances.
I used to see a lot more of our local (and hour away) DGC when they were small - once a week approx but then they started school and now High school, I could see them more often but it's more like once or twice a month either here or there.

Further away DGC : I haven't seen the NZ one in person since the summer of 2018 and it doesn't look like anytime soon does it.

It depends on each family.

Nothing fixed in stone. That’s where problems can start IMO.
I see mine (1.5 hours away) possibly once every three weeks or month for about two days and the GC come and stay with me for 4/5 days in the holidays which is lovely for me as other DS is in Sydney. However I never ever want there to be any pressure on DS and DDIL about it.

I’d be interested to know why OP wants to know ?

We see them all fairly often via FaceTime. In person during term-time about once a month, sometimes more often, sometimes less. We have three grandchildren aged under 5 and we see them when we see them. The one with siblings at school who also lives a bit further away visits us less often in person, but my husband occasionally travels over to see them. The one who is nearest has just stayed with us for a couple of nights and will be back next week for another overnight stay. The one who is an hour's drive away we talk to seven nights out of fourteen on FT and we usually meet up once or twice a month.

My sister sees some of her grandchildren every single day and one of my friends sees hers only once in a blue moon.

It depends on the GC age and whether mum is working. When everyone was at home with tiny children about once every two weeks, now nearly grown up GC very little and a text always welcome! you do have to go with the flow.

Our youngest daughter lives 60 miles away.When she was on maternity leave I used to go over once a week.We then had a period of time where we saw them every couple of months.At the moment we go over once a week to look after our grandson.He starts school next year so it will probably change again.We tend to let them let us know if they need our help and also to arrange any family outings.They both teach full time,have their friends and need their time as a little family.So long as they are happy we’re happy.

Every couple of months

None of mine live an hour away so I can't really comment.

It is rather like asking how long is a piece of string as so many other factors could be involved.

There are so many factors involved that it's hard to judge really. I've mostly seen my grandchildren once a week over the years. They are all grown up now so it varies.

My answer would be spasmodic. Sometimes a feast or a famine totally depending on what their committments are. I'm very aware of this as my own lovely Mum used to give me a hard time over not seeing enough of us and there was I busting a gut to keep everybody 'serviced' and happy. Difficult indeed! My family are a busy lot with both parents working and attending all sorts of clubs and hobbies regularly. I sometimes get a bonus call to 'babysit' when some plan or other goes wrong but other than that the definites are birthdays and other celebrations. Visits between each other are totally by arrangement (of course) and, I think they know I would like to see more of them but.... I have the time and they don't. Furthermore, there are other GPs to be considered and they live at the other end of the country to me. I really think time pressure is huge for them nowadays. After writing this I'm doubly aware how lucky I am to see them at all!! Thank you.

I think you just discuss it. We are a very close family and DD1 is 30 minutes away, DD2 in same town as us. We see them once or twice a week for childcare and nearly every weekend on one of the days socially. Always have. DGC are 7, 4 and 3 now. That may not suit everyone though.

It depends on everyone's schedules and what they want. An hour isn't far for me but that doesn't mean that the parents aren't busy (or grandparents) and can't fit a visit every week.

There is no right or wrong amount and it doesn’t help to compare your situation with anybody else’s. If you are unhappy about your contact with your GC that is up to you and their parents.
Quoting the experience of others is unlikely to make you happier.