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What would you do?

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hybrid1000 Thu 01-Jul-21 12:34:19

My Grandson is 5 years old, and Autistic, he lives with his Mum and Maternal Grandmother, they are very lax when it comes to discipline, whereas his Father and myself are more strict with him, the problem we now have is that whenever my Grandson is outdoors if he needs to Pee his Mother allows him to just do it on the nearest Tree/Bush, which I don't mind if there are no Toilets nearby to run to, but, a few days ago I was looking after him at my house, he said he needed to Pee, i have a downstairs Toilet, he knows where it is, (he used to live with me for the first 4 years of his life so he has used it many times), I then realised that he was taking an awfully long time to just have a Pee and went to see what was going on, I then found that he had walked straight past the downstairs Toilet, unlocked my Front Door and was standing in the middle of my Front Garden having a Pee on my Flower Bed, I haven't told either of his Parents about this because his Mother would think it was funny and his Father would go berserk, clearly this problem needs addressing, but what should I do?

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Hithere Thu 01-Jul-21 12:37:19

www.gransnet.com/forums/ask_a_gran/1297909-What-would-you-do

Same thread has been posted 3 times

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Toadinthehole Thu 01-Jul-21 12:38:07

I always tell the parents of my grandchildren anything, either good or bad, and then let them decide. It’s not for you to worry about, if you can help it. Appreciate that’s difficult at times, but the parenting has to be left to them.

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M0nica Thu 01-Jul-21 12:42:20

It is known as Grandma's rules in Grandma's house. Make it clear to him that when he is with grandma he has to use the toilet. It will take a little time and much watching, but once he gets into the rytthm of it, he will understand.

he does need to learn it, though because soon, as he grows, what is sweet behaviour in a toddler becomes very problematic when done by an older child and could lead to exclusion from school. perhaps that is an approach you could use with his mother - that he is rapidly reaching an age when this kind of behaviour will no longer be acceptable and will cause socialisation problems.

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M0nica Thu 01-Jul-21 12:42:20

It is known as Grandma's rules in Grandma's house. Make it clear to him that when he is with grandma he has to use the toilet. It will take a little time and much watching, but once he gets into the rytthm of it, he will understand.

he does need to learn it, though because soon, as he grows, what is sweet behaviour in a toddler becomes very problematic when done by an older child and could lead to exclusion from school. perhaps that is an approach you could use with his mother - that he is rapidly reaching an age when this kind of behaviour will no longer be acceptable and will cause socialisation problems.

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