Bath sharing

I agree with your post Antonia. This isn't something I'd be at all comfortable with but there does seem to be more criticism of the GF here than the parents of the children, which I find rather odd as this wouldn't be happening without the parents' agreement would it.

I don"t even think it is sensible for the children"s father to be bathing with a 7 year old daughter. I guess that makes me old camp. I recall.ad a child, not too old, my Dad used to come into the bedroom I shared with my younger sister. He was only there to make up the beds but I was trying to get dressed and felt self conscious. Really the grandfather ought not to have to be told to quit interfering in bath time.

Yes 2Nana, your son is a good place to start you would think. I was talking to my daughter about this thread, and she thought it inappropriate too. It made her wince to think of her little girls in the bath with her father in law! She’s very fond of him.....but no.
I wish you well.

Yes thanks from me too 2Nana
and hope you can say something to your which will have a good effect.
Sorry I mistrusted your first post.

Thank you for coming back 2Nana
Good luck with it

Thank you all for your comments, all very interesting and different replies. In this modern world I think the parents want the children to grow up liberal and open minded but I think this is a step too far. I don't want to make a big deal out of this but I will have a quiet word with my son and see if we can stop this before the children get any older, its just not appropriate. thank you

I honestly have my doughts about this thread now.

Thanks ashcombe. This sort of thread is a common problem on MN.

This is the only post on Gransnet from the OP, according to a search. Suspicious and I’ve reported it.

OP says that they ‘get in with their Grandfather’.

I've been thinking about this today (hmm) and it's mainly the practicalities.
I'm not very big but fill the average size family bath. So how about the average sized Grandad?
How could 2 chilren of 7 and 4 fit in too? Quite a squash.
Perhaps the OP means they take turns.
Or like in the old days in the tin bath in front of the fire they share the hot water. Dad or GP first then other family members in descending order of age?

NO, NO, NO, on every count just NO!

A football coach would be in serious trouble with the safeguarding regulations. This is definitely bad practise. Then a football coach would, or should be, DBS checked and would have done a safeguarding course. It’s not however just about the children as an adult could be accused by a child of inappropriate behaviour so it protects the child and the adult. The adult could be entirely innocent but the accusation could be made.

Would it be appropriate for a child’s teacher , neighbour , uncle , football coach etc to bathe with them ? Of course not …..How is a grandparent any different?
Er, because all the people you mention are outsiders and a grandfather is family?
I don't think it's very appropriate either, but - it's a bath. It doesn't make the grandfather a pervert.

Nannagarra

Like Fennel I’m beginning to suspect this is a wind up.

I get the feeling it isn’t, but the OP is assimilating everything we’ve said. The fact we all agree makes it difficult for her. I would need time to think.
I may call Social Services anonymously, and ask the question, “ what do you think? Would this be considered appropriate behaviour?” I suppose I would act on their response, although I know I wouldn’t want to report them, but my grandchildren would come first, at whatever cost to me.
As toad said a few pages back, are you absolutely sure your grandchildren enjoy this? Could you delicately find this out?
Bless you, it’s a really difficult call, I do hope you manage to resolve it.

Like Fennel I’m beginning to suspect this is a wind up.

And mine!
Speaking with my Safeguarding hat on, alarm bells are ringing!
However, I wouldn't want to be the person who approaches the parents, explaining how inapropriate it is. Very tricky!

My husband said the same thing ginny

Rufus2 to help balance of opinion I asked my DH , my brother and 3 male friends all of whom are Grandfathers. They all responded in the same way, which was a resounding ‘No, that’s not appropriate.”
What is your opinion ?

it can be read by the big wide world
Fennel Even as far as Australia!
The "big wide world" starts at your front gate and nothing can change that!
Not long ago you were bewailing the lack of Grandads on Gransnet, thus being deprived of the opportunity of someone to banter with! Remember the dangling preposition saga?
Unfortunately, the remaining few all left, for some reason, so we haven't a balanced view on this topic!
OoRoo

A definite "No" from me! I have no problem with parents bathing with young children, but a grandad? Why? My husband wouldn't dream of suggesting he bathed with our grandchildren, and neither would I. It's so unnecessary, and it just doesn't seem right. As others have said, it's difficult to actually say anything to the parents if they are OK with the situation, and you certainly wouldn't want to suggest any wrong doing, but I'm afraid if it were me, now the children are getting older, I'd have to say something to my son. Even if it is all purely innocent, imagine how the parents would feel if one of the kids mentioned something to a teacher, and they were called into school to discuss it! Even though your DiL has been brought up in a liberal minded family, it surprises me that your son is OK with this.

actually i'm wondering now about this thread.
and at least one of the responses concerned me too.

Why is a grandfather having a bath at that time of day with his grandchildren, very odd ? It would definitely ring alarm bells with me.

The OP hasn’t come back … I do hope that she is OK

Just no..