My Grandson does NOT love me

It is his body he can choose who hugs him and when, because No means No. Let him have that freedom of choice. Why are you patting him on the head? He isn't a pet.
My DGD is 4 and I always ask her if I can have a hug if she says No then that is fine.
If he is being what you think is cheeky either tell him it isn't kind or Get up and walk away.

This is very upsetting for you. It's tough when a cuddly toddler suddenly turns into a cool and distant child but it has to happen, they have to assert their independence. It's happened to me too. As others have said, stay calm and kind but don't force any physical contact with him. It will push him further away. He is learning to know and understand you as a significant adult in his life but he's decided that he doesn't need the physical affection. Try to enjoy the changing relationship and find interesting things that you can share with him. Good luck.

Agree with Rolypoly55 BE KIND

I can remember my son when he started to 'pull away'. It's a normal part of growing up but I understand you feel hurt. Step back, let him come to you. Let him know that you will always be there for him but let him initiate the cuddles and touching. He will wonder why you aren't coming to him and will test the situation. Just continue loving him and occasionally ask if you can have a cuddle, if the answer is no then wrap you arms around yourself and say you'll just cuddle yourself. Don't let him see you're sad and accept that little boy is a young man now trying to understand all the changes he's going through

It does sound as if an adult has said some of the things he has repeated to you. 'You heard me' is the sort of thing a parent might say if the child has been questioning an instruction to put his toys away (for example). A parent who is trying to get on with a task might well tell him, 'You're annoying me'. Has one of his parents been working from home, and finding that a child interrupts his/her work? In such a scenario he could be feeling that he has to maintain a distance from adults.
Don't let his attitude disturb you. All children go through phases - didn't we all?

Hithere

Naughtynanny
Why do you say body autonomy is for the parents?

I do it for my kids, so they know nobody can touch them without their permission.
Even their doctors ask for permission.

What you teach a kid while growing up will stay with them the rest of their lives.
If you tell a kid he/she has to be touched/hugged/ tickled even if they dont want it, it puts them at risk of sexual abuse, physical abuse, etc., because they were taught to never say no.

I absolutely agree with you on this. I meant that the parents are teaching this ethos to their child, and rightly so, but it may the reason the Grandson in the OP is behaving as he is towards his Granny.

The thing about love is, sometimes we give what we hope to recieve.In any one sided relationship it's best to take a big step backwards and assess the relationship.

Children today are words like "resilient" and have boundaries and know their rights, like many of us never did as kids. They are taught from Pre School to manage their emotions and to say if they are uncomfortable with something. It's very hard if that thing is you, OP

I would try to modify your behaviours in line with children of today and try not to take it personally. Would you rather your GC said nothing and suffered something they were unhappy with? Or would you rather they had the honesty and resilience to talk about it. It's hard, but the best way to build a two way relationship is to listen and be prepared to change.
I would talk to their parent, as well so any rudeness is not tolerated and

Yes, she is upset as she is not shown love the way she wants it

Very yabu

Welbec.... don't be so judgemental. Maybe that's why she's not responded to the posts , I wouldn't either if the information given was so negative . She's upset that's all.

some don't seem to recognise the rights of a child to decide whether he/she wishes to be touched or not.
which is concerning.

Why are so many blaming his parents?

It’s normal for children to cuddle less as they age!

bettyuno

Gees......he is 6 yrs old people not 26. Most of you are making out he needs to be on his own and find himself etc....patting on the head is not a big deal as far as I am co concerned and being mouthy to an adult at such a young age is a big no no.

You might have enjoyed being patted like a pet.

Many of us did not.

yet she hasn't felt like responding to any of all these posts...

Welbec it is a genuine question. She's just upset because she feels she's lost the affection of her grandson.. She obviously loves him very much. It's not her fault, her grandchild is just flexing his independence muscles.

Fairyamma... I really feel for you. This happened to me too, my grandson was super cuddley towards me then all of a sudden he blanked, it was just his way of showing his new learned independence, although rather childishly I found it more amusing that upsetting. Also could his parents have said something to put him off you in some way.? As this also could also be a valid reason especially if there is some jealousy in the amount of love he showed for you. This happened with my granddaughter by the way. So don't be put off showing your grandson effection. Soon he'll be too old for cuddles, or it won't look cool in front of his friends, as I'm often reminded by my 10 year old grandson. Whatever the reason, its not your fault, just go with the flow or it will become an uncomfortable issue and give rise to conflict by all involved in your grandsons life. How can cuddles ever be wrong from a loving grandparent.

I wonder when he started getting "mouthy", as OP says this has been going on for a year.

If OP has been doing things that he clearly doesnt like and OP knew he didnt like them - it is reasonable for him to lose his patience and express himself in a more assertive way (what may be interpreted as rude)

Gees......he is 6 yrs old people not 26. Most of you are making out he needs to be on his own and find himself etc....patting on the head is not a big deal as far as I am co concerned and being mouthy to an adult at such a young age is a big no no.

Don’t be upset by this it is absolutely normal. He’s just growing us and asserting his new found independence. Just carry on as normal and don’t make a big issue out of it.Boys particularly stop wanting hugs or kisses when you meet them from school much earlier than girls particularly when their friends are around. As soon as we can though we shall be hugging our 12 year old grandson as we’ve not been able to for over a year now. He and his 8 year old sister do air hugs when we see them and she says she can’t wait to hug us again and we’ve got a feeling he feels that way too!

Give him space.

Space and autonomy are so important to kids.

I wouldn’t purposely ignore him as some have suggested as I feel that’s manipulative.

Just have a normal visit. He’ll choose to cuddle, or not.

Please try and think that there may be a positive side of this - that he is, for whatever reason, moving on from the sort of relationship that he had with you in the past to a new sort of relationship - it will be different, but might be good in its own way.

It is like when our children become adults - there is a sticky patch for a while and then everything shakes down into a new way of relating that brings its own rewards.

I will add to my earlier comment...two of my grandchildren...5 and 9 open their arms for an air hug as they know we can't do a proper hug. Children are very aware that we must keep our distance x

Oh fairyamma, how sad for you and all you want to do is show him how much you love him ... I think a lot of the responses are very harsh .Just give him time they all go through these stages ... Don’t be sad I’m sure all will be well shortly .

It does seem to be a change in behaviour your describing here. What does your son or daughter say about this? It's been a tough year with covid but is there anyone else new on the scene? He is only 6 and whilst he doesn't want cuddled at the school gate usually gran would give a hug without a problem at home

I’m sure he loves you, this covid restrictions hasn’t been easy for my 3 year old grandson to understand. He’s 4 soon and I’ve noticed he doesn’t want cuddles, part of growing up

Perhaps its something he has learnt at home...is there something going on?