Are they insensitive?

My kids started picking up what they wanted to wear at 1.5 years old.

Kids are not dolls to dress to make adults happy - babies or older ages.

It is not about how much effort the giver put in the present, it is about the receiver.

This thread is a perfect example of gifts with strings attached.

Tooyoungtobeagrandma

How about your son posting pics of the items you give as presents?
As usual, the blame is misplaced

I think some replies on here are very harsh and unhelpful. You may think that someone is upset for little reason but we are all different with different lives , experiences and sensitivities. My lovely mum held to the old adage that if you’ve nothing nice to say , then don’t say anything. Seems particularly apt when speaking to a person you may not know or someone who is distressed or maybe there are bullies on gransnet?

I find it strange that there are many comments about harsh replies. Nothing I have read here is harsh it is just opinions that differ from what is expected. If you post on here not everyone is going to agree with your feelings. You cant expect everyone to feel the way you feel. Personally I am glad that people say what they think.
As to the onsie/sleepsuit thing, dont stress about it, its not worth getting yourself in a tiz about.

If you made it as a Birthday Gift then it was insensitive and I’m sure , unintentional. But if it wasn’t a gift then I don’t think that there is a problem, maybe the one she was wearing was a Birthday Present?
Noit wasn't a birthday present, but it had taken me ages to complete. DD had specifically asked me to make one with feet. She sent a pattern, but it was for a toddler. I enlarged the pattern and made a suit but it turned out too small. So, I bought new fabric and enlarged the pattern again. That time it was a success.
I think I was momentarily upset, as I had gone to so much trouble and expense to make the 'xxxx' thing!

I like your comment winifred01

22dragonfly46 Oh dear what harsh replies.
I couldn't agree more!

Oh dear what harsh replies.
I realise now why I never post to ask advice as you often get more than you bargain for.

Reminds me of the old joke- mother gives son 2 ties, he wears one. Mother - Didn't you like the other one?

Why do you need to look for constant reassurance that your DC love and care for you and treat any occasion when they do anything that you do not like or a bit off as so upsetting?
I don't need constant reassurance, thank you. Neither do I treat any occasion when they do something I don't like as 'upsetting.' You are magnifying this one event and assuming that I always react in this way. I don't. The child's parents do lots of things I disagree with, and I never say anything.

Daddima, just checked back and my post has crossed the OP’s reply within minutes, hence my assumption it was a baby being discussed.
Given this child is 7 yo then there is definitely a high likelihood they pick their own clothes.
The other thing I picked up is that the homemade sleep suit was made a couple of weeks before the birthday and wasn’t given as a birthday gift, so again I go back to - be proud of your talent OP. But a child of that age should be able to pick and choose their pyjamas without it causing any issues. I’m afraid this is a little bit of a mountain being made out of a molehill.

At least you were sent a photo of your grandchild ....some people, like me, have NEVER even seen our grandchildren, let alone find a trivial matter to be upset about .........be thankful for small mercies !

I’m with Farnorth. At 7, I’d imagine she chooses her own clothes, so I wouldn’t be too upset at her choice. Maybe she doesn’t fancy the feet? I’m sure a few chilly nights will change her mind!

And Lolo81, the ‘baby’ is 7.

I understand you feel upset, but I hope you can let it go. Another time, maybe pre-empt the problem by asking for a photo ‘just to see how it looks’. Then you get to see it on, regardless of Instagram posts.

Talented lady! I'm just upset that I can't see my GC x2 at present. When I see photos, I'm always saying: is that the one I bought? Lol. I can never remember because I buy them stuff so often!!

I wouldn't have been upset by this, but I know, that what I get upset about tends to be decided on my mood at the time. If I'm feeling low, I will be much more sensitive. So big hug coming your way in case you need it and for whatever reason.

7 year olds dress themselves. Why is the mum getting the blame here?

If someone gives my son clothes, he will wear them when he feels like it.

Dressing kids up in a photo for granny is something you do with a baby. Not a big kid.

I don’t think FarNorth was being rude as I too thought sleep suit=baby. Does your daughter live in a very cold climate? My 3 year old granddaughter wears pyjamas now. I would have thought that a pretty party dress would have been more appropriate for an Instagram birthday photo.
I used to dress my sons in awful knitted romper suits my MIL knitted him only when I visited her. They came off as soon as I got home.

I would actually say something....just perhaps...I was wondering if she wears it...is it ok..only I saw some fb photos....and see what she says...(she obviously has more than one and your daughter wasn’t thinking...)

I do understand but, as others have said, there are plenty of reasons it was not the one used for the photograph.
One thing I did wonder was whether anyone else had made something for her and your daughter-in-law decided to be tactful and use neither for the photo?

I know exactly how you feel, having been there many times myself but I have learnt to rationalise. I know my DS and DiL love me. I know my DGC love me so what else is there really. It is very rare to love one person more than another even if they provide better presents or give more attention.

Sorry have wandered a little off piste but just to say I sympathise but I am sure both your DD and DGD love the sleep suit you made. (Maybe they are saving it for best!)

I made several things for my gc including a chenille pram rug to match the pram we bought. Not one photo of the 100's posted on fb/Instagram/twitter was my gc wearing or using anything I had made but always in things his other grandma had made or given. On purpose, who knows but my dil and I don't get on at all so maybe? I've given up giving my gc gifts as they are thrown out or given away so will just give £s to my son to help towards nursery/school fees and leave the gc money in my will that their mother can't touch. Just grow a thicker skin and do things for yourself that make you happy that's what I've started to do ?

I think it was insensitive.If the sleeping suit you made was in the wash they could have said something to that effect so as not to upset you.Very uthinking.I would have been upset too.x

My Mum knitted lovely, intricate Fairisle jumpers for my boys. They looked so smart in them. Unfortunately, the boys, especially DS2, complained that they were itchy and refused to wear them for any length of time. I bought white cotton roll-neck tops for them to wear underneath the jumpers and managed to get the DSs to stand still long enough to take a photo, I think that satisfied Mum.

If your DDs house has hard flooring, DGD may have found the footed sleepsuit a bit of a slip hazard for walking around in, unless you had put some non slip material on the soles of the feet. Maybe it is just being used to sleep in, which would be ideal for any child prone to kicking the bedcovers off in the middle of the night and ending up with freezing cold feet! I agree with others next time you are chatting just casually ask if it fitted ok and did DGD like it, don't make a big thing of it.