Interfering?

I don't think that you can compare today's risks to the past. We are more aware of paedophiles now than several decades ago, and there is a lot more traffic than when we were kids. It's probably the latter which is the real danger. I would be worried about young children crossing roads, unless they were shepherded across by a lollipop person.

It is difficult, though, when it's grandchildren. You could bite the bullet and voice your fears, but that might lead to a row. I suppose that there isn't much that you can do, but you are bound to worry.

I'd keep quiet for the sake of peace. She's his mum, her decision! Your son must have felt it was OK too. A nine year old is capable of doing this. At that age children develop road sense. If you're worried have a chat with your son, saying what a big boy your grandson is now, and hopefully your son will reassure you as to what's going on. Never a good idea to criticise parenting skills even if you don't agree with them.

BGB31 I think we worry perhaps more about our DGC

I think we do, because we are no longer the decision makers - our children and their partners are, busyb

Mine took themselves off to primary school and home again but I think the worst time was when they did their Cycling Proficiency tests and had to take their bikes to school.

We just have to keep our fears to ourselves.

I would worry if it were my grandchild but it does partially depend on how the sensible the child is. Nothing you can do about it without causing trouble questioning your DD’s wisdom in allowing him to walk alone.

My 8 year old granddaughter recently asked if she could walk to the shop on her own. No roads to cross, basically its round the block. My daughter asked our opinion and we both said "no"! We assured her we'd probably still say no when she was 18! Its a hard one. I would have wandered a long way off at that age.

I always took my grandkids to school and fetched them as my daughter and son in law worked in another school 20 miles drive away. So When the eldest at 9 went to a different school , I could not physically be on two places at once. I don’t drive, so it was decided that I deal with the little one and the 9 year old had to ‘grow up quick’ by taking his self to school 1.5 miles away. He had to cross a very busy road ( with crossing)... and then cross two more roads on his way. He thrived on the responsibility! He’s now 13 and his little sister is set to go to his school next year..... children are far more able and resilient than we give them credit for ....it’s their first chance to prove themselves as responsible little beings. Crikey I took myself too and from school from day one ! Too much mollycoddling is no good. Trust your grandson...he will be fine.

In this day& age you cant be too careful- ive had 7 children and know what im talking about- when they moved to high school my 2 youngest had to get a public bus, no school bus and at least they were together, and friends got on too, but they were 11& 15& half by then.Not 9. There were warnings from the school that some kids had been almost abducted, and also other older kids can also be a problem on a long way to school, especially to nick phones etc off younger kids.- Has she really thought this through? Or discussed it with the school?why on his own now,at 9? Has your daughter taken a job recently? Couldnt she drop him to school on her way perhaps? Or is it possible for you to offer to walk him till hes year 6 maybe?

BGB31 I think we worry perhaps more about our DGC, I was in the same position 2 years ago when my DGD's mother (My DS ex) let her walk 25 minutes to school across several main roads and finally down a back lane. I was appalled and did say so, but at the end of the day that was all I could do. her Mum was very nice about me worrying and speaking to her about it.
Now 2 years later DGD has just started at her second school and is quite confident about the bus and route and I was proved wrong - although this doesn't stop me worrying.

My youngest were not allowed to walk alone to school till age 10- and we live very near it(2/3 minute walk away, one rd to cross, with the crossing lady) at our old house when elder of the 2 was ten& he took youngest with him we lived directly across rd from school, and i could stand outside our door & see them go across rd safely.when he moved to high school i started taking young one again myself as he was only nearly 7.I guess we were lucky being so near, but i certainly would not let a 9 yr old walk all the way your GS is on his own- what are they thinking? Tense relationship or not, id mention it to his mum, as GS has mentioned it to you do you not think he must be anxious over this, or he wouldnt have said anything at all?!?

I can understand your concern but I assume his mum is equally concerned. She must be convinced that he is sensible enough to do this - and perhaps he is walking with someone else, or Mum will follow at a discreet distance for a little while.

I realise things have changed a lot over the years but when I was around 6 or 7 I walked about a mile to and from school in Wembley, usually with a friend/friends. In those days there was not the same regard for safety and I can remember being kept late at school for chattering in class and having to walk home alone in decreasing light. The lollypop lady had gone home and I remember being frightened having to cross the road on my own. I certainly wouldn't recommend that but I do think it is important for children to gain some independence as they grow older.

Someone tried to take me when I was seven, but I got away. It was probably why I was more careful with my children. None of them walked to school on their own until senior school. There was no point, it wasn’t a risk worth taking. I can’t see my daughters or DIL’s allowing it either, but I would probably just site my own experience. My daughters were also hassled once by young guys on motorbikes, when they were around 12. I met them at that point for a few times until I was satisfied they were no longer a threat. It is difficult. You can’t interfere..but you can use examples of why it’s probably not the best idea.

Just talk to your daughter and tell her what I said. Just tell her my advice comes from love for her child and our own experience.

My son was nearly abducted very close to.home. I am really not a fan of them walking to.school alone. In this day and age it's scary. He is now 38 but I know it's had an effect on him. Boys are no.safer than girls. I think they.should walk in groups and be told about stranger danger.

My grandson’s school sent a message home at the end of last term to say that year 5s are allowed to walk to school on their own.
My daughter was very worried about this but one upside of the pandemic is that parents are asked to ensure that their children are socially distanced as they go into school. Problem solved.

I would assume that the parents have done their own risk assessment, and have a safety plan in place, plus will have done several trial runs at different times of day, with different traffic conditions, and therefore the child will be as safe as they can plan for.

That said, it all depends in the child, doesn't it. If he's not happy about it, then an alternative needs to be found. But if he's ok with it, then I think it'll be fine.

I had similar calls at work recently, about this very thing, from the parents, and also from the school. The school said that their policy is that no Year 5 child can walk to/from school until Easter, so that may be something to check.

But from a grandparent's stance, it's not something I think you should comment on.

(Personally I would hate the idea of my 9 year old granddaughter walking to/from school on her own - or even with friends)

When my children were young, they wouldn't let us take them once they went into Junior School, even though we were walking their siblings to school, they had to go on their own, so it set them up for when they went to secondary school.

I think best to leave it to his parents. I know how you feel. I was in similar situation with my DG who lives in Tokyo. Children at an extremely early age of around 6 travel to school on the Yaminoti train (circular that loops around Tokyo) I’ve seen them so when my DGs did same albeit at age 9, I was concerned too. He was fine. Although it’s relatively safe over there. As someone has already said it’s up to his parents to make that decision. Try not to worry

I think children are mollycoddled to much these days and taken everywhere. Its interesting that there was a programme on the TV about children 8 and under who were taken to London and given instructions how to get to a certain point on their own. Its was a few miles away and involved catching buses and crossing busy roads. The two children who did the best were a brother and sister who lived on a farm up North somewhere and lived a very free life but had never been to a large town or city.

I started school at 5 and the trip to school involved a short walk across the park. Then the school moved to the other side of town, involving two buses. In those days my parents didn't have a car - not many people did, and an older girl who went to the same school was asked to take me with her. However, she proved to be completely useless and kept leaving me behind. So I just got on with it! Before I was six, I was catching the buses by myself with a change in the town centre and doing it twice a day, because I went home for lunch, having absolutely rejected school dinners! (I had 20 minutes in the house, before I had to go back to school!)
I survived!
Of course , times were a bit different then, but I still feel amazed that I was allowed to do it!
Incidentally, one day, when I was about 8 or 9, we had a new teacher, who kept the class behind at lunch time to finish some work. I told her several times that I had to leave to catch my bus or I wouldn't have time to get home, but she ignored me, so I nipped out of the window (ground-floor, low windows!) and ran to catch my bus. By the time I got home I was so upset and in floods of tears that my parents kept me home for the afternoon and rang the school. I was terrified to go to school the next day, but the headmistress was obviously sympathetic with the circumstances and just told me never to do it again

How does GS feel about it? I know it was different days, but I used to walk into town from about 7 years old, I was scared, but got used to it.

How times have changed. Age five my mother took me to school for the first week. Only two minor roads to cross. When we moved when I was eleven I had a mile walk to the train station and a mile walk the other end. In the winter it was dark before I got home.

mealybug there are any more weirdos we just hear about them more.If you make your children into wee scared people they will always be "victims" You have to let them go when THEY are ready not when you are.

It depends what you think will be the outcome of your talk. She may reassure you that no of course he doesn't walk to school alone, or she may say "yeah the little b* I hope someone abducts him" in which case you'll call the social services. Whichever you choose there will be a varying degree of deterioration in your relationship, either in the good scenario that you didn't trust her or the bad scenario that you dobbed her in. And shades in between.

I would suggest talking with your DIL just to air your worries, without criticising her decision. It s normal to be concerned. Most of us would feel the same

I'm probably going against the general consensus here and I know it's his parent's decision but I wouldn't like my GS walking a 25 minute journey to school. There's so many weirdos out there these days and I would be worried sick, especially if you live in a quiet rural area. It wouldn't be so bad if there was a school bus or public transport nearby where there would be other children around.