Situation forcing rules to be broken

@ Gustheguidedog may I respectfully ask you to lighten up?
Whether or not anybody agrees with an OP, shares their point of view or not is not the point. Suggestions, support and (helpful) comments were invited.
BTW how would you have managed to be so rude and dismissive without the Internet too?
If that was your best comment, I’d stick to playing with a ball in the garden or fulfilling your very important role for your visually impaired human.
Hattiethesighthound

I work in Children's Services and have had several calls with similar scenarios.

Our local authority has a team to deal with this kind of situation (I have no idea what, if any, solutions they are offering though) so maybe your daughter can contact her local children's services and see if they can offer anything

Gosh that was such a good idea to officially register as your daughters children's carer. I wish we had tjought of that. I looked after our 2 GC when she became a single parent after domestic violence. I took them to nursery then school for 4 years until she moved 250 miles away. I tried to carry on my psychotherapy practise & wrote two books but it took a toll on my health so I gave up my work. I loved having them, altho extremely tiring at times. It never occurred to me to register ot probably would have helped her finances too? Good advice.

I have only recently found out that the government has very craftily slipped in a new law as quoted in the Independent on June 2nd..... " Childcare was not defined in the health protection regulations until changes came into force on June 1st. The law now states that childcare cannot include care provided by relatives. A relative in relation to a child means grandparent, aunt, uncle, brother or sister whether of full blood or half blood or by marriage or civil partnership ". Mr Cummings has a lot to answer for!

I am looking after GC for 2 mornings a week as the parents are both wfh and weren’t coping. It’s not much a walk in the park etc, but I am doing it to help
the family . After the Cummings incident I can justify it on the grounds of instinct and common sense. The nursery will have him back in July so I will go back to not seeing them again when that happens.

Reading posts with interest. Want to stress that it's the dilemma of separating the older generation from the younger which is forcing people to have to opt for looking after their gc not the family itself. Certainly for me I have chosen to care for each child as they came along, the same as many on here. It's never been a chore. The school age children have their key worker places but the 2 yr old has only ever had us. Then there's the school pick up and drop off, staggered times to maintain distance. All this a nightmare for many parents especially single parents without help from gp. I'd love to help, it would all be achievable if I could help and I see from
the posts, a lot of you get this. Since posting, dd now sorted without our input - at least for now.

Tweedle my questions were general , not a pop at the OP, however the sentence ‘with the help of her parents’ is something that needs to be addressed, not particularly by the OP, but to parents and Grandparents in general, the GPS are ageing, not all in very good health and yet their help is pivotal for a lot of couples where both work.
Something needs to be done, but no one has come up with a solution.

Hi Toddy, I would just like to share my experience with you. I have just started the school run for my GS who is 6. I have always done it and I am in good health in my sixties. I have found that the school is very well organised. I walk him to school wearing a mask and then we all have to form a spaced queue with markers. We are no longer allowed into the school grounds and a teacher allows one child at a time through th e fate. The same applies when they are collected so it is just the same experience as going to the supermarket. We then walk home and so far we play in the garden for an hour whilst keeping our distance. I can let GS into the house if he needs the toilet or a drink. By the time the weather gets worse, the breakfast club and after school club will be open. As my GS is on the autistic spectrum he can’t just be bundled off to a childminder. My DD has been told by her company that if she wants to take time off it will be unpaid and the company never took part in the furlough scheme and so has worked throughout and SIL has just gone back after being furloughed. Everything is working very well.

coast35 - so glad to read your post. I have been saying to DH this morning that I cannot bear the thought of months and months ahead without the care we give to our grandchildren. Yes, we are at risk but of an age when you have to consider what life is about. For us, it is our children, their partners and our lovely five grandchildren. It is a huge dilemma for us - can't see the answer yet but hope there is light at the end of the tunnel.

I have continued to look after my grandchildren throughout lockdown, they are age 4 and 5 (6 this month) both parents are key workers and work shifts. They have gone to school on the days both parents are working or sleeping after a night shift but with their parents needing to leave for work at 6-45am for a 7-30 start and finishing at 8pm if a late shift, where are my grandchildren ment to go before and after school if not to me?

My husband and I are both in our mid-seventies and I have MS. We are also legal guardians to two grandsons, one of whom is due to go back to school this month as he’s in year 10. We are all (including him) very concerned about this. We obviously don’t want to jeopardise his education (he’s very bright), but neither do we want to put ourselves at risk. (Who would care for them if we can’t?) We’re still not sure what to do. The older boy is at home from university. Both are working well from home and appear to be keeping up with all their subjects.

BJ was asked this very question on yesterday’s 5.00 pm press briefing and his answer was telling ‘ we will continue to do all we can to support parents who have to go to work whose children are still at home’ and that was that except for saying that he hoped schools would return in September.
The law enacted last week as we come out of lockdown is crystal clear - a person can travel to go to work, to get shopping,!tonget healthcare, to exercise, to meet with a group of five other people from the same household in a. Ooutaise space, and to get public childcare and that excludes childcare provided by a family member so if as a GP you provide childcare in your own home and the child is being brought to you then you are breaking the law - ludicrous isn’t it when BJ says at the same time ‘I appreciate that it is difficult’ - the cock-eyed way this coming out of lockdown law has been written shows the damage done by Cummings- it is specifically written to excluded all family child-minding but doesn’t put anything else in its place - brainless and thoughtless.

In the end you will have to do your own risk assessment and take it from there. We also are in our 60s, I have asthma. DH is a dentist returning to work next week. Our single parent daughter has had to go back to work as of end of May as she cannot be furloughed. There is no option but for us to resume childcare. There is no longer her childminder in place and the new school hours are 9am to 12.20pm. Whoever thought that these truncated hours for selected years only, would get the workforce back and up and running, clearly doesn't know much about parenting.

We all have individual needs, the government can not cover everything! Responsibility lies with one & all..do whatever is best for your families needs.. We are all key workers in our family, childcare is still school and shared between family, we can't be ferloughed....

The pandemic has brought the situation of Grandparents doing childcare very much to the forefront.
I was providing childcare 4 days a week and although it was a lot for me as I have health issues I was happy to spend time with the DGC and help DD.
I was to attend a hospital appointment and after checking that DD was not working at that time I thought it was arranged that she would come with me to the appointment. She did not show up. Next day I was told what time the DGC would be dropped in my street. I was ill, probably scared and nervous after the appointment, and said I could not cope that day. No concern about my health just fury that I could not take DGC.
If the DAC want the DGC to be cared for by Grandparents they should have concerns about the Grandparents health and that family support should be a two way street.
I have never seen them since. (This was long before the pandemic)

You would be at risk if you look after your grandchildren, especially as your daughter is going back to work . She could contract the virus at school .
She needs to talk to her employers if she has no alternatives as if childcare is a problem she cannot work and will continue to be furloughed.
Teachers in high risk groups will be still furloughed. Its your decision in the end but why put your own lives at worst and health at risk? Older people, and especially those with underlying conditions, are more at risk from this contagious illness We are still in lockdown during a pandemic.

As your daughter is a keyworker (Teacher) then the local schools and nurseries that have been open throughout this crisis should take your grandchildren as they would be in the priority group. A lot are running as child care pods with extended hours that would easily fit around her school day. Or is it more that her preference is for you to look after them rather than using something like this?

I help to run an after school club in the local village hall. We are not able to open; no out-of-school settings for children older than 5 are, unless they are in school premises and can keep the kids in their bubbles. This guidance, btw, came out last week; we had been planning how to reopen and keep everyone safe for ages. The next review is due on 3rd July; we've put everyone back on furlough in the meantime

I cannot tell u all how helpful these perspectives have been as my caring responsibilities will need to start again soon and I am of course weighing up all of the issues everyone has put forward. I don’t have anything else to offer however what I will say is that thanks to everyone’s input you are likely to have helped many people like me by adding views and experiences. As ever thank you and keep safe.

oops a daisy3 I would be furious if grandparent care was not allowed to carry on. We very willingly look after out grandson two days a week after school and we love the holidays when we can have him for longer. “ Not allowed” would be a total invasion of our excellent family links and privacy.
it is one of the joys of our lives. We absolutely love it and don’t in any way look on it as a chore. We do both live a full life as well. We both volunteer for charities and enjoy that too. I’m in a Rock Choir as well which is enormous fun. if people feel looking after grandchildren is a burden they shouldn’t do it. For me it’s the greatest privilege in my life.

If your husband is in his 60s and has asthma then I don't think you should be looking after your grand children if your daughter returns to work in her school. Yesterday the government said that people would not have to return to work if they could not get adequate childcare. Don't risk your husband's health because he could get Covid 19 severely if he is asthmatic.

I am going to sound unkind here you say "What is she supposed to do now if I don't take up where I left off before lockdown."
What would she have done if you had had a serious accident or died? She would have had to make alternative childcare arrangements, which is what she needs to do now. Its called being a parent and taking responsibility and is what our parents did for us.

I am in the same position. Always helped out daughter with childcare, she is a teacher too, but as I am shielding husband aged 60 with asthma, there is no way we can have our beloved grandkids in the house much as we’d like to. So daughter cannot return to work and fully understands. Your DD should not be putting you in this position. She can’t return to work or children go to a nursery if she must.

@Toddy
I too like a lot of other members am in my 60s, may I be bold enough to ask what you did before the birth of the Intenet? How did you let the whole world know YOUR Business? If I were your DIL I certainly would not be passing on any information about anything to YOU, you seem to find great pleasure in moaning to other folks about THEIR business.
Have some respect for yourself woman.
Regarding `Breaking the Rules` do you really expect anyone to aid & abet you by advising you to be a rebel?

My daughter and I are both nurses, she is a single parent. We have always looked after her children at our house whilst she works nights.
My OH is over 70 with underlying health problems. We made the decision very early on that the only way she and I could continue to work was if my OH and I socially distance at home (separate bedrooms and bathrooms) and I continue to care for her boys overnight at her house and they go to keyworker school whist she sleeps. Yes it was bending the rules but as Boris has said all along use common sense. There was no other alternative other than us both stopping work, financially and ethically we believe we made the right decision