giving birth to first child at home

Had requested home birth in early 70s. All okay until twins discovered 6 weeks before due date. Feet hardly touched the ground in hospital until delivery. No choice given which was just as well as one brow presentation other breech. Of course with scans etc a lot more info but the babies' positions changed just a couple of days before delivery. Friend's daughter had her baby 3 years ago in bathroom, alone. All turned out well, thankfully but the daughter had PTSD for a year with the distress of what happened. Don't think you will be able to persuade your DD to go to hospital. Medics involved will surely have given her insight into what is involved and how difficulties will be managed.

Three of my 10 grandchildren have been delivered on n the kitchen/bathroom floor - all unplanned home deliveries but with telephone guidance from the maternity services until the midwife and or ambulance arrived. The last one I actually ended up delivering with SiL as they lived close by. All fit and well -stitched up when the midwife arrived and no need for a hospital visit. Much better if it had been planned that way, but sometimes it’s not possible to predict these things! Wonderful times!!

My daughter had first baby in hospital , aged 34, a miscarriage aged 36. and a home birth aged 37.
The home birth was planned, but didn't go to plan. It was an unexpectedly quick labour ( about half an hour) and the midwife was still travelling to her. Her partner delivered a healthy boy on the living room rug with instructions being given to him down the phone. Not long afterwards he was serving tea to paramedics, ambulance staff and the midwife all of whom had been summoned but missed the event! It's now a very precious memory, and father and younger son have a very special bond.
The only downside was the rug; had taken ages to find the one they wanted, but it had to be disposed of!!

NHS England made a commitment many years ago to move birth away from the medicalised time constrained service to a more holistic midwife led community based service.

Although we feel hospital is safer statistic wise it isn't. Hospital delivery is often more rushed & involves often unnecessary interventions.

Going forward home delivery is very likely to become the norm.

If she has been carefully monitored, and all is well, it's extremely unlikely there would be any serious problems. Don't cause her any additional anxiety by worrying her about it.

My first baby, born in the 60s, was a home birth, with my husband present plus a lovely old-fashioned midwife. Scary and painful (pain well controlled though) and a total joy. A slice of Easter cake in bed afterwards, and it was April and Spring came with the baby.

My second baby, unfortunately, had a hospital birth because of a tiny speck of blood on my knickers - we both wanted a home birth. The hospital was in Scotland, with VERY oldfashioned attitudes and DREADFUL food - my husband had to bring me salad and fruit in a box - no fresh vegies. They did NOT approve of a partner's presence at the birth, so didn't bother to call him, and unforgettably, when I was discharged, my husband and two year old son weren't allowed behind the curtain while I dressed! Times, thankfully, have changed.

My Grandson was born at home with two amazing midwives to support and no problems. Try to relax and enjoy this very special time x

Me and my two brothers and 1 sister were all born at home under supervision of midwives. My brother one year older , was also a breech birth. My sister 11 years older than me had her first in hospital all ( 9lb 10ozs) of him...hated every moment... and elected to give birth to the other three at home.....one on Christmas Day at midnight with the midwife straight out of midnight-mass!! I was there with her for the middle two boys and saw them born (I was aged 15 and 17) for those two. After births were burnt on the log burner...one of them had the cord round his neck ( blue baby) but midwives seem to cope with all possibilities. Not sure about midwives now....whether they’re ‘up to the job’ withought hospital back up. My daughter wanted and planned for her first to be born at home ...but had to have a planned Caesarian .... and my second grandchild also. Not sure whether to be sorry or pleased about that. But I now don’t think the back up is there these days for home birth...all manipulated over the years of course by male doctors...to take responsibility out of hands of women. I think it’s too late to turn clock back....unfortunately!!

Congratulations on your first grandchild!!
One of my best friends delivered her grandson on the floor of the hall in her own home after her daughter unexpectedly went into labour during a visit. Everything turned out fine, an ambulance having been called of course. So much is beyond our control and childbirth one of the more unpredictable events in life!

Im pretty sure i read something similar though,back when id wanted a home birth for my middle child,that youve the right to a midwife being provided???

Agree with your post mama wolf.

It’s her decision and I understand your worried. I woukd of loved home births much to my mil,s horror but it was hospital and no messing wasn’t given any option. Hope it all goes well for her.

It will be fine, just If she’s had all the pre checks why ever not.
The perfct place in my eyes. Not some cold clinical environment with strangers buzzing around.
Emergency access available if necessary which highly unlikely.... what’s not to like.

I had all four of my children at home a relaxed and wonderful experience a warm bath my own bed and a midwife who had been with me from day. one My daughter opted for hospital and was left alone in a room for ages at a time midwife had 3 ladies on the go at the same time so no constant presence. Things were different in my day each village had resident nurse/midwife and policeman. We have lost much in our manic world.

PS paying £3000 for a midwife did ensure she would be there and the visits before the birth to prepare were gold with massage, homeopathic remedies, and making sure we, the birth supporters all knew our jobs!!

My best friend had all 3 of her children at home- no problems at all except her husband who was banned form the last one as he made such a fuss at the previous 2!! The midwife told him it would be hours to go & sent him off to get some totally un-needed shopping. It was all over 10 mins after he left.
I really wanted my 2 at home but as they were both expected to be over 10lbs (they were too! they wouldn't let me.
If they were in any way worried it might not be a good idea for your daughter they would advise against it.
It will be a wonderful family experience I'm sure.

I was at two home births in London and it was amazing and everything went very well and was quite straight forward! But these were second and third babies. The hospital made such a mess of the first my friend wouldn’t have another hospital birth. The mid wife was hired privately ( cost £3000) but was just amazing ? with lots of homeopathic remedies to speed things up and slow things down. My friend was free to move around and do what she liked and spent time in the bath before hand which helped ease pain. She was allowed to give birth on hands and knees leaning on the bed which was the easiest position to give birth. It was an incredible experience!

Back in the day though it was the norm to be born at home, as i was in 60's- but you dont hear of it much nowadays- only when a babys made a surprise quick appearance,i wanted one in '89 with my middle child,but they (drs) talked me into a 'domino' delivery,where i went in with midwife and came out about 6-8 hours later,so a good compromise..But could your daughter not opt for that instead? Or at least arrange to go to a nearer hospital if she does need to be transferred?? 30 mins away when there seems to be many hospitals in London seems a bit dicey in a true emergency?? Wouldnt they just take her to the closest? Anyway if shes anything like my middle daughter then there will be no changing her mind,so try to trust what she wants,& you never know,she may find its much harder/ or more painful/ more difficult/ worrying than she thought it would be once labours fully underway& ask midwife if she can go hospital herself- shes a first time mum remember,having never experienced it and 'reading up' on it may have given her a rose- coloured specs view of it all,( call the midwife on tv has a lot to answer for!)anyway good luck-and congratulations! i too have just been told im to become a gran again this year!

@Nannarose - thank you. I am trying to not make my fears obvious to her (but have patently failed!), but these many messages have made me feel much happier and more confident and, as you say, she is much more likely to be open and relaxed if she doesn't think she's fighting me as well.

Dear Pinkhouselady. My friend had all 4 children at home with no complications. I had both my children in hospital with complications. The choice has to be your daughters and the midwife should have discussed the pros and cons of home birth to ensure this is what she really wants. Any problems will be planned and dealt with. By all means discuss the home birth with your daughter, but leave out the gory bits. Xxxx

@Bibbity use some common sense!
There might be a legal obligation to provide a midwife at a home birth but it’s not a infinite resource. If they’re all busy with labouring mums (whether at hospital or in their home) then they might be quite late getting to the patient. After all, birthing isn’t an exact science and labour can take days, so it’s quite a juggling act.
At least in a hospital they can pop between rooms to check on more than one patient at a time.

I requested a home birth but ended up being induced when I was 12 days overdue.

I’d stop reading all the stuff online. I was born at home a long time ago as were my two older brothers. I had to have my three in hospital but I had complications. A lot of information gets picked up during ante natal care. Try not to worry and look forward to your grandchild.

@polnan, thank you, hugely excited.

And keeping schtum is extremely difficult!

@agnurse, thank you, excellent idea. I think if I can get busy with practical assistance, rather than winding myself up, it will be much more helpful for all parties! x

How exciting, first grandchild is very special

over 50 years ago, my best friend had her babies at home,

I haven`t the personal experience...
but congratulations, and yes,, we have to let our children make their own decisions... not easy!