Sleeping issues

This has reminded me of younger daughter when aged about 3.....the one I said I had put straight into her cot. She had a cold which was giving her a bit of a night time cough. She awoke distressed and I went into her room administered some mild cough mixture and sat beside her a little while whilst she calmed down which seemed to be taking a while. I was working and needed to be up early so a disturbed night was not really welcome. I weakened and offered her a chance to get into bed with us.
She leaped at the chance and I must admit I enjoyed the extra cuddles and was just drifting off when I felt her wriggling and heard the words....'Mummy can I PLEASE get back to my own bed I'm not comfy?'. Hey ho....of she trotted and we both got a half decent night's sleep.

Honestly they need to be content in their own beds, not a case of being a bad mother Luckygirl!

the wee baby is having a laugh! Sorry but Mum and Dad need to knock this on the head.

A nearly 2 year old does not need food throughout the night.

I should add that my second daughter had this problem with her baby at 15 months. I t took three weeks to cut out the nighttime breast feeds. She has a nighttime cuddly toy.

First of all, don’t despair! Your little grandaughter is comfort feeding, and in order to stop she needs to be happy and secure in her own sleeping space. She is old enough to enjoy novelty, so her parents could make a nice bedroom for her and encourage her to play in her cot for a short while during the day. Then they could encourage her to take her daytime naps in there. Cut out the last breast feed at night before her bedtime ( Bath, story cuddle first) an replace with a drink of milk. If she wakes in the night, briefly offer a feed- no lights on, no talking, be boring. Then start taking it in turns just to go in and reassure her, but don’t feed. Let her have a dummy, suck her thumb, have a favourite toy or blanket. She hasn’t learnt to self- soothe yet, so she may need some help. A dummy, if used just to soothe at night, won’t hurt her. It will take a week or two.

Definitely comfort nursing and not feeding.

Some parents find it hard to let go of this close tie - but at the expense of other important close ties.

This child needs to be helped to be a part of a family with all the give and take that this entails. At the moment she is queen bee with everyone dancing to her tune. It is time to stop this - and she will need hep to do this. They need to start settling her without a feed at night - it will take time and she will not like it I am afraid, but it has to be done.

The parents need to be in their bed together and getting cuddles - and more - but they cannot do this under these circumstances.

Do up a room for the child - involve her in choosing stuff - make her feel like a big girl. Wow! - you ate nearly 2 now - time to have your own bed, and time to stop breast-feeding.

I could weep when I see these parents sacrificing their whole lives to their children to assuage their guilt and do he done thing.

I confess that my little ones were in their own rooms when a few weeks old and the night feeds dropped off very quickly. Bad mother!!!

Extended breastfeeding plus co-sleeping/bedsharing. Oh boy. That's quite the bundle.

Would agree with suggestion of Mumsnet where these things are discussed constantly.

In addition, five feeds a night at 22 months aren't feeding for nutrition by that stage, she is nursing for comfort.

But yes, Mumsnet.

ClareAB. First things first if baby is thriving and developing well in all other aspects then she should not be needing night time feeds of any sort. Mum and Dad first of all need to 'train' her to sleep through. Babies are not born knowing they have to sleep through the night its up to Mum and Dad to reduce feeds and widen the gaps and that's usually done by 12 months. The longer they leave it the more GD will be self aware and the harder it will be.
Then GD needs to be in her own bed/cot and that's usually achieved earlier. Babies need to feel content in their own beds, they need to fall asleep in their own environment, wake up sometimes and have learnt that all is well and they can get back to sleep. What's happened here is that GD has almost trained her parents to continue the baby stage longer than needed. Back in the old days of strict Health Visitors they would boss you about to separate yourself, wean of the breast much earlier and create a healthy happy night time environment for the developing child. Can remember having my 2nd and the Midwife was so impressed that baby was in next room in her cot by the time she signed me off. With doors left open it was just as easy to put baby straight into cot after feeds and she quickly became accustomed to that. After a few nights I fed and changed her in the dark....it was all about reducing the level of stimulus and making the whole thing very cursory. Can remember she explained it along the lines of if you nurse them back to sleep they will never learn to fall asleep themselves and if the wake up in the night (as of course they do) they soon feel something is wrong i.e. you are not there and wake fully and cry. You DD needs some good strategies and the confidence to stick with them. A health professional or perhaps even a private nursery nurse needs to go through what they need to do in small steps. She and her husband really need to be back in the same bed. Sleep deprivation is not used as a form of torture for nothing they must be at their wit's end.

I will pm you.

I would suggest Mumsnet - there will already be many threads on this topic which may help or she ( or you) could start your own. Hop over and have a look