A little genius

Yes indeed, a touch of acid usually creeps in!
Whatever a child’s intellectual gifts, the ability to be happy, and to be a kind and decent human being must rank at least as high, and that’s what I wish for my grandchildren and everyone elses!

When GS1 left primary school in July I thought it was rather nice that the teachers didn't talk so much about his achievements, but said how much they would miss his personality.

That’s lovely to hear Deedaa -that would have made me so proud!
I was quite a bright child, and my father told me that for a girl the important thing was ‘looks, not books’ and that if I continued to be a swot then I would never be of use to any man.
I’m glad to say that he was absolutely right. I have refused to be used by several controlling men, and would recommend any girl to be the same!

I too have 3 wonderful grandchildren. To me they are the best. My DGS is not intellectually gifted, wonderfully clever beyond his years, or headed for an outstanding career. He is however autistic and has put up with bulling, name calling, physical and emotional aggression from so many. What is he like? Charming, funny, super fast wit, protective of others. Do I think he's fantastic and better than anyone else's grandchild? You bet I do.

-and isn't it inevitable that anyone with a gifted child who mentions it gets accused of bragging.

Well, talking incessantly about it, and not letting anyone else get a word in edgewise does sound bordering on the obsessive side.
Not to mention that most people aren't interested to that extent.

All children are equally valuable whatever their gifts/strengths or ability.

I am not sure why you think there is 'anti intellectualism' M0nica. That has not been my experience, either as a parent, GParent or a teacher.

In the same way a child with a strength or gift in physical development, e.g. gymnastics, has to be supported and nurtured to keep up to age expectations in e.g. Maths, so a gifted mathematician needs to be encouraged to develop other useful skills and attributes. Does not mean the exceptional maths skills are not valued.
I have taught some very academically able children over the years, they were always rewarding and exciting to work with but no less rewarding than others with different strengths.

Some parents do think their children are academically gifted when they are not & some do not realise how able their children are. Shame if parents try to hide a child's strength though.

My DGD1 is part of a G&T group at her secondary school and was miffed to get some additional work to do over the holiday. " If we are supposed to be more clever than other students why are we doing more work?" She did it and enjoyed doing it!

Are you sure you don't encourage him by asking after his GS ?
I brought out my pics today to show off my DGS. I was searching for a particular one and my friend said OMG there's another 550 photos!!
I got the message

My best friend who died last year used to go on and on about her grandchildren- every little thing thing they learnt to say, do and photos!!! They were all wonderful yawn yawn. couldnt get a word in edgeways. I never had the heart to say anything. I couldn't be that cruel.

Some people though do go on at length about their children and grandchildren gifted or not. I think the five minute rule to talk about your family is a good idea. I would tell your friend that he is over egging the pudding sluttygran before you stop being invited out,
I have a friend who tells me all about her family every time we meet but doesn't even know my children's names. I do get tired of one sided conversations and am considering having less contact with her.

I can understand that sodapop. I suppose its better though to think of something to say like "Right. enough about grandchildren. Lets talk about us now!

Well maybe not us, something else would do.

I like the three pennies idea very much.

Genius, intellectual ability, creativity etc. are interesting facets of personality, but although they can be enhanced by study etc. they are innate (I believe), so I always taught my children that they should rather aspire to develop character traits such as kindliness, compassion and patience etc. Not everyone can be clever, but anyone can be kind and I'd rather my children were kind than clever.

(They are of course both! )

Sluttygran - does your friend have just the one grandchild, or is he favouring this particular grandchild over others? If he is, perhaps you could say something like, "Tell me about ???"(Another grandchild.) Of course, this might just open up another bragging session ... If it does, just change the subject - and keep changing it, until he gets the message!

And if he doesn't, you're going to have to be upfront about it. "That's enough about ???, we talk about him all of the time. Can we just talk about us, for a change?"

When you're out in company, I would just interrupt his bragging with something like, "Yes, he's doing very well, but do tell ??? about our trip to Spain (or wotever!)

There's nothing worse than people going on and on about their children or grandchildren! 3 minutes, fine. 5 minutes, max!

My eldest DGC is a sporting high achiever . There is no way on this earth I would discuss her abilities / achievements on these forums and be accused of bragging (or worse) .

Of course it's difficult to draw a line, but as sensible grans have said: keep it in perspective, from the children's own achievements, to the rest of the family and outside world.

Gillybob - this would, I think, be a place to celebrate your DGC's prowess, but high sporting achievement risks identifying. I hope she continues to enjoy her sport and value the people she has trained alongside and met.

I also think you can inform family of news 'Jemima has her GCSE results, we're pleased her hard work has paid off...' rather than leaving them wondering whether Jemima is glad or disappointed. I have to always contact one branch of the family to ask how the children have done-they have always done well, but their mother thinks ringing to tell me their results is 'bragging'.

Oh Nannarose thank you for your kind words . If only you only knew how much I have longed to share my pride with my “virtual friends” here on GN . I am not a brag ( quite the contrary) but pride just wouldn’t cover it . Yes she has met and learned from, some amazing people over this last year or two and continues to go from strength to strength .

Nothing wrong with gently asking if you can have some adult chat instead of GC chats !

The three pennies idea is great.

It’s certainky quite annoying when people only talk about one subject, in this case your friend only talks about his grandson. It’s fabulous that his grandson is clever, bright and articulate, and I am sure he will continue to be so, BUT your friend could talk about someone or something else as well.

I have a friend with two children, both excel academically and in sports, and also seem to be very nice young people, but she has driven other friends away by her almost constant boasting about their prowess. Every single conversation comes back to one of her children.

Is it possible that your friend thinks that you and your friends bang on about your children and grandchildren too much? Or is he, like my soon to be ex friend, seemingly oblivious to what other people think?

?

I have a friend who talks about her herself, deceased husband, her family, the whole time. She interrupts every conversation with her anecdotes and is very, very, boring and repetitive. She's also a very poor listener. She's basically a good person but I can see people turning off when she starts talking. I keep trying to think of ways to tell her but don't want to hurt her.
Sorry Sluttygran, this isn't helping you as I have no solutions to offer.

I have a lovely friend who has come to grannyhood quite late, she now talks about the ups and downs of her 'smalls' non stop. Very annoying for me as when mine were all small she had not the slightest interest!, however, I am so pleased for her I just let it drift over me and drink my tea.

sluttygran only thing I can think of is to say to him 'do you realise you talk about nothing else', just a thought is there anything else in his life other than you and his family, some men can be notoriously short of hobbies and interests and therefore having no other conversation.

I don't know how long you have been in this relationship, but I wonder if your friend brags about his grandson, full stop, because that is what he does, bragging:
he always cuts in and has to better them.
If it wasn't his grandson, it might be his golf handicap. Simply intervene and pointedly change the subject.

Lucky is you friend hard of hearing? In one group of pals we have a lovely lady who is quite deaf and needs hearing aids, which she forgets to put in sometimes. She lives on her own so when meets up is keen to talk. However she often cuts across an ongoing conversation to relate an anecdote about a grandchild or something else about her or family. Whilst we understand what is happening it can be quite frustrating when a conversation is derailed! We have started gently, to say "So & so was just telling us about...." to try to help her see she has interjected at an inappropriate moment!

mcem
Oh Yes!!!
And they seem oblivious to the fact they are doing it, even on this post.

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. The bare truth is that perfect children, like perfect adults, don't exist.
As for 'banging on' about a grandchild's looks or ability. Is it for reflected glory?