Kumon ruining our holiday

I am sorry that this Kumon set of papers have become such a stumbling block. I wonder who is operating the system. As its Japanese its presumably franchised out to people.
Wikipedia says:

Kumon Programs
Kumon offers its math and language learning programs, primarily English as a foreign language or the local language. Kumon's basic principle is that the students reiterate familiar content in order to compensate for existing deficits and to provide a foundation for further successful learning . The tempo is determined by the children themselves. Afterwards, they use their own examples to work on previously unknown topics. The aim of the Kumon method is to successfully teach children independent learning. In addition to the technical knowledge, the method promotes concentration , self-reliance and self-confidencethe children. The Kumon learning materials continue to evolve, incorporating the experiences and impressions of students from around the world.

Seems something has gone wrong some where.

Do the work with her. Talk to her about the fun of figures - after all it was your choice so you must have liked it for some reason. Share that joy and interest. You might find your delight rekindled!

grannypauline - I'm so with you on this - thankfully my daughter recognises Kumon for what it is - a money-making racket allowed to flourish by the Tiger mummies whose kids are tutored up to the gills, the outcome of which is that lots of other kids ' parents feel they have to join in. Somebody should blast Kumon into the stratosphere and kids should be able to develop at their own pace - there would be far less mental health issues among teenagers and it's true that such problems are on the rise, in parallel with the over-tutoring of children. I'm sure that you as a retired Maths teacher can think of really inventive ways to give your gc much more than Kumon can.

I agree wouldn't do it yourself and lie -bound to get back to parents. To sit with her and help when necessary seems reasonable and stop after an hour and own up to parents tellig them that a y more would have ruined holiday (if it hasn't already! ) Btw what is the other little girl doing while she is doing the papers? I think it will build up resentment in both of them -one because her sister doesn't have to do the work and the other because she has to kick her heels waiting to go out and have fun.

When our grandchildren came to stay or visit us all school work was forgotten. Enjoying ourselves was the priority, didn't do them any harm, in fact they did quite well although not super academic children. Life's too short to be doing an hour Kuomin!!

No wonder so many children and young adults are suffering MH problems.
Isn’t Kumon Japanese in origin? And didn’t Japanese schoolchildren begin to suffer increased MH problems decades ago?
Our poor hothoused children.

I remember the year my daughter was sitting the 11 plus. I let her play all summer, while my friend had her son sitting indoors doing 11 plus papers. My friend said I would regret it. I didn't, she passed, her son didn't.

I'm all in favour of education and there is some evidence showing that repeating maths sums regularly does seem to produce results. However, it certainly does not foster a love of learning which is more important, in my opinion.

I would have refused to take the maths scheme on holiday with me and told the parents that I would do incidental learning instead like working out change when shopping, looking at railway timetables etc. as that's more relevant to things she will need in real life.

Perhaps next time this situation occurs, you could print some ( hard adult) maths off the internet - enough for an hour a day -and give it to them both and say you want it completed on your return as they will have plenty of time to do it as there's no childcare to do! Or maybe you could ask them to work out how much this scheme will cost over the years and calculate how many tins of beans, bags of chips, cinema tickets etc. they could have bought instead!! Suggest they give you the exact number of examples as the days your granddaughter has spent completing the Kumon papers- 365 x ?

Would they really stop you seeing the grandchildren and give up the free childcare? Your son is to blame equally for this situation and maybe if he sees the ridiculousness of it he may agree to end it, at least during holidays.

Kumon isn't about helping kids understand maths, or becoming more confident in the subject. But it may help certain children become better and quicker at passing maths tests. This is important for some parents who have high aspirations for their offspring at any cost.
But for a 7 year old on holiday? Ye gods!
Just dump the Kumon in the trash and concentrate on having fun with your DGD.
And when you get home, ask your DIL how much paperwork she undertakes on holiday!

Please do not follow the suggestion to do the work for your GD. If you do, you are teaching her that it is quite all right to cheat and afterwards to lie to her parents! I'm sure all the posters who suggested this course did so out of pity for the child, but jumping from the fat into the fire is not going to help.

If she were my grandchild, I would if possible say to her parents that this stupid maths system is counter-productive, as it is making the child simply hate the subject, and as she will have to do it for the next ten or so years of her life that is decidedly not a good thing.

You say your DIL is controlling, so maybe this is not an option, but surely if you are tactful and tell your DS and DIL that you really have tried to follow their instructions, but that you feel it did more harm than good, you could get them to discuss it. It does of course mean you have to avoid the slightest hint that you are criticising DIL.

I read this as never heard of Kumon www.kumon.co.uk/maths/#pill_programme_widget_age_groups_2_2
but it says 30 mins? I'm beside myself as getting DGS for a couple of days and planning all sorts of treats as having them them to ourselves will be wonderful - they haven't wanted to stay as they did before they got older. But I would never even hint at a less than united front with their mother my d-i-l. They are her children, not yours and will pick up (ferociously cunning creatures that they are to use anything to their advantage) at any discord. Even if I think I know better I support the parents (and the other son). Make it fun, lots of rewards stars charts treats when she does it. Try not to view it as a chore but an exciting journey - and to cheat - sorry but if do it and she tells on you (and I have been dropped in it by mine) the ramifications can go on for years - usually via their partners. For the sake of your son put your own feelings aside, and dont be judgemental. Have fun and enjoy your time with them.

The holiday will soon pass . I would do the paper as early as possible and then forget about it . I used to teach my children maths through play . We would go shopping and they would have to find the cheapest beans etc . Could tell Mum after the holiday that you did other little linked projects and these were better or as good . Parents do face a lot of competition .I am a nursery nurse in a private setting . Every evening we do detailed handovers - nappy details , all food eaten ., focused activities . what a child got out of a trip , monthly next steps ...all done via very focused 'play '. Parents evening for a young child are 3 times a year and the 4+ have a cap /gown graduation which a prof photographer coining it in and the nursery too via commission .These are examples of how the system sucks . She may feel the same but as a child she has no voice . I would try and give her a positive side to this too as her school work may become better / easier .

:Your holiday , could say your rules. I think it is totally out of order, maybe a paper twice whilst on holiday but that is it. If it was me I would just do two a week and then when the holiday is finished face the consequences.

My GC have a timetable pinned to the fridge that plots out the day. I thought this was extreme but it works. They can all see when they are allowed time on their iPads, when they are expected to practise their instruments, when they can ‘chill’. The 12 year old willingly does her English workbook as she knows that after that she has iPad time.
The summer holiday is very long and research has shown that lots of children go backwards in their schoolwork over the summer.
Why not get it done first thing in the morning and plan each day so she knows there are better things ahead?

Children vary in their learning speed. At 7 our DGD was very uncertain and worried by maths and it certainly wasn't her best subject.

She is now 11, about to go to secondary school and got 110 out of 120 for maths in the SATs test. She is now quite confident and happy with maths - all without any need for tutors or extra maths of any kind. It just took her a while to get the hang of the subject.

I see no need for maths coaching unless a child has a clear problem and then one to one tutoring that can address each child's specific problems is far more use than just going for mechanical maths tests.

Sent this thread to 2 friends who run kumon classes and asked for their comments. Amongst other comments they both said independently that the work load should certainly not be more than 20mins.
Unlike some of you I wish my daughter would send our DGS. It is very repetitive but the results do seem to be good.
The children in our family do seem to have benefited, one of them is a maths teacher herself now, but it is very difficult to quantify. Unlike our generation (in our family) maybe they would have been good mathematicians anyway!

I can't think why your DIL doesn't take advantage of the fact that you were a maths teacher and ask your advice!
I was a teacher and dislike Kumon maths- I found that children who did it were very rigid in their thinking - not something that you want in maths. I also think that a 7yr old wants a holiday and there are so many ways that you can practise maths in everyday life and games that are fun.
However I don't think you can battle the parent - it will be to your detriment. Try and come to an agreement with the granddaughter. Sit down and say that you don't want it to spoil the holiday but it is going to have to be done so discuss the best way to do it- see what she says. I would suggest first thing in the morning to get it over with- set a timer and have a treat when she finishes and a bigger treat if she is fast. She may have a different suggestion.

as for not needing to be a maths genius, well primary maths now includes stuff I didn't have to tackle until I was well into secondary school..... so a "pass" now =s a maths genius in my day simply because they have to plough ahead through topics that IMO shouldn't be necessary until later or unless maths is chosen as a subject for progression!

I don't think this mum is going about it the right way AT ALL. But she won't be the only kid getting extra maths help, even at 7, that is the norm now not the exception. (A curriculum and system that creates a need for this is to blame IMO, not the parents)

BlueBelle a "pass" is not what it was, the curriculum has changed and now they are having to do work that was done by much older kids in the past.

Also, you won't get into academic streams for OTHER subjects if you just scrape a pass in maths like you could previously.

I have said that I disagree with this amount of work @ 7, but am also giving some general context about why some parents feel that the HAVE to push maths so much these days. It's all wrong but its systemic in many cases.

WOW - so much support and many suggestions. Many many thanks people!

nottonan I realise you have to have a pass in maths nowadays (I have seven teen grandkids)but that’s all you need ....a pass you don’t need to be a maths genius and for heavens sake she’s 7 not cramming for her GCE exam maybe if she was 14 I d understand more

M0nica yep.

I'm struggling to work out what I;d do if this was expected of me.
I'm not a fan of homework for 7 year olds but always did spellings, reading and tables with mine as expected by school. That would be for 20 mins or so during the school term time. I would not do any formal homework during the holiday time and I certainly wouldn't expect their grandparents to do so.
She's 7, on holiday with grannie, what's the point of over an hour's extra curricular work every day? You could be reading, drawing, painting, out visiting interesting places or imagine, lolling around watching a dvd whilst eating something indulgent

Poor poor child. Poor you. Nothing to suggest that hasn't been out firward already just wanted to add my sympathies for you both.

I asked my son about the Kumon as he also has trouble getting it done on the day. He said his daughter has made progress in Maths thanks to Kumon. I haven't seen it myself.

He doesn't (yet) see the controlling side of his partner in spite of several red flags over the years, the Kumon being only one of them. He is still very much in love and (bless) works so hard to keep the peace in some very difficult situations. I find it hard to keep silent over a number of things but I don't want to upset his family life.

I have come to the conclusion that I must keep the peace myself and be around for him and his daughters and support them if they have any difficulties. I also believe in praising them as DIL is more critical than praising.