How can I curb my anxiety?

I've heard that if you can do it, one approach is to set aside a time every day , say 15 minutes, and give yourself permission to go through everything that worries you. Then shut the door on it until the next day. I never worry about myself, but my family. And I'm aware I catastrophise but if it starts I try to do something physical to steer myself away. And singing along with cheerful music helps though I don't suppose the neighbours appreciate it! With family no news is often good news. Keep positive. Good luck.

Janeainsworth the fears that the OP mentions are groundless, as all children have colds and sniffles or a virus.
My own DGC do have a rare disease which ( having read up on it) I know full well what it will lead to.I was trying to point out that worrying ahead of time about every little thing that could possibly happen to a child is not healthy for you.Therefore, although it seems to be a natural ageing thing to be more anxious, ‘not giving in to it’ by whatever method you choose to use is a good idea.

There are reasonable fears and unreasonable fears. My grandkids are healthy so I think it would be unreasonable worry about them on the health score. This doesn't mean I'll never worry, should they become alarmingly ill, for example, but I certainly won't worry and haven't worried about every sniffle and minor virus. Or chicken pox which they're enjoying at the moment.

I think the OP recognises that many of her fears are unreasonable, as did her GP. The GP perhaps should have recognised unreasonable anxiety (which is an illness, isn't it?) and done something to try and help her.

Everyone says that worry doesn't get you anywhere or help anyone. However, those of us who are anxious really can't help it. With my own daughter, I just sort of got on with it but with my granddaughter, I have been very anxious at times over little things. My DH is the same. DGD is a teenager now but when she was small if she so much as coughed my DH would look stricken. I think a lot of the problem is that they are not your children and so out of your control, if you know what I mean. Our daughter is a wonderful mother and has produced a wonderful daughter. When she goes to uni later this year I'm sure we will be anxious. I am an anxious person generally. It can make life difficult.

I feel the need to reiterate that you can't help what you feel and no amount of advice telling you not to feel like that is going to help. I don't think any of us can stop the thoughts that come into our heads and it is unfeeling to suggest that you should.

Yes, there are steps you can take to try to minimise the effects of those thought like mindfulness (didn't work for me) and writing things down (does help me) or scrubbing a floor/dancing/singing or whatever but I doubt the latter would take my mind off my worries.

Once again I suggest that if this continues you go back to your GP and explain again the effect these worries are having on you.

Those who think you can just 'get over it' are very, very lucky to have no understanding of how you are feeling, they must have led easier lives.

Who has told the OP to get over it? Nobody!
Easier lives? ( hollow laugh)
If your anxiety is getting to the point where you can’t help yourself or control it then seeing the GP is the best idea as he may prescribe something to calm you.
Don’t accept these constant worries as normal.

Well said Nonnie I have generalised anxiety, which means that I am anxious all the time I told my GP that I was constantly anxious and that my anxiety was making me feel as if I was about to die. She more or less said 'how silly' but did give me some pills to help when I got 'really anxious' which is all the time. Apologies for going off subject sluttygran

Outwardly I am a very confident, calm person, but in reality I too am a catastrophiser. I live some distance away from both families so don't always know about any illnesses or dangers they may face, but I can sure let my imagination run wild. Some years ago during a particularly bad spell of anxiety over family, I visited a CBT specialist where I first heard the word 'catastrophiser'. The sessions did help, and now I do try to rationalise my fears. You are not alone sluttygran, but try to seek help if you cannot control the feelings.

You are not alone, I worry all the time about my children and grandchildren, as we lost one of our Granddaughters at the age of nine months,sometimes it is overwhelming. I know it’s easy to say but try and think of all the good things you share with them and if any thing does happen,it’s not because of you, just be there for them.xxxx

I am not a medical person but it strikes me that those of you suffering extreme anxiety have experienced a traumatic time in life. Slutty the awful moment your grandchild came close to death, BlueBelle the loss of a son in law and Nonnie, well my heart goes out to you for the loss of a son. Surely this is post traumatic stress disorder in varying degrees and should be helped by professionals where possible.
I have suffered two nasty events in my life, nothing to compare with those mentioned but at the time I felt my mind was skewed to an extent and I was over anxious for some time before I gradually returned to ‘normal’. Where something so horrendous happens returning to ‘normal’ is not always possible but surely help to cope is possible.

You can't be blamed for worrying and as a trained nurse you're more aware than most of how an illness can deteriorate into something much worse. Plus if you feel powerless to actually do anything those fears multiply.
Obviously the children can't be taken to the GP/hospital with every sniffle - but I think you're going to have to trust their mother's instinct.
It must be difficult for you to stand back - but stand back you must. Hopefully you'll be asked for advice if it's required.

Mums ( and Grans) have always worried about “what ifs” etc it’s what we do when we love so much and the fear of losing that object of our love, is just too much to bear. No one knows what’s round the next bend of life, it’s ups and downs. My Nan always told me ... worry takes away today’s strength, not tomorrow’s sorrows.

I totally understand what you are dealing with. Your anxiety is irrational, and you know this, but you cannot rationalise it in your mind. This was probably triggered by the apnoea attack. I , too, am a trained nurse and suffer the same anxiety about my daughter and 3 year old GS and 18 month old GD. This was triggered following the death of my son-in-law. I received a phone call with the terrible news he had taken his own life, and I now am paranoid about answering the phone and am anxious about my daughter's and my grandchildren's safety/health.
Luckily, I did have a sympathetic GP. I told her I needed help and she recommended a psychotherapist. I had 8 sessions of a mixture of mindfulness and EMDR therapy. I have overcome some of the issues, so I do urge you to go back to your GP. Stress you need help. Anxiety is crippling and exhausting. But you can get help. I do hope things improve for you.

Im with you. Fortunately both gc s are very robust, but I worry about every bump and headache with all the family. I know I catastrophise and try to talk myself through it but it's difficult.

I completely understand how you are feeling. A few years ago I lost a much loved BIL very suddenly. I immediately began to worry about losing my darling hubby. I watched him like a hawk for any signs of illness, I didn't like him going out on his own and was on tenterhooks until he returned safely, I even stopped him using his power tools! I couldn't sleep and I didn't want us to go anywhere for fear of a car accident. This was not at all like me, I am usually a laid back and philosophical sort of person. I couldn' t understand why I felt so scared all the time. At about the same time I became unwell and was eventually diagnosed with IBS, a condition often triggered by stress and anxiety, and which creates its own anxieties. I knew my fears were excessive and I did my best to deal with them. It never occurred to me to consult anyone about it. Gradually my over-protectiveness of my husband has lessened and I've managed to get a grip on my feelings. Now I just have to learn to cope with the embarrassment and restrictions imposed by the IBS - but that's another story. I really hope you manage to get some help to see you through this, but you are definitely not alone.

Of course it’s natural to worry slutty . Just because a child is healthy one day doesn’t mean they can’t dangerously I’ll the next. The media is full of instances that make us fearful. Illnesses we were probably unaware of when our own were little. Ignorance can be bliss.

What we try to remember though is that these are in fact very rare happenings and hold onto that thought.

The level of anxiety some of you ladies are suffering from really needs support as they have drifted into the territory of impaired mental health, push your GP for some CBT or similar.
as others have said worry is natural and the more you love the more you worry.
I too highly recommend mindfulness I practice this with meditation, and my naturally anxious state has massively subsided.
I love your nan’s comment Coconut? it’s so true?

I too worry about everything, children, GC, DH when I know they are driving especially in difficult conditions. I always ask them to let me know they've arrived safely. I too like to know flight details when they go on holiday and worry about every little illness. They tell me when the little ones are ill but not always that they are better so I am worrying unnecessarily! I don't think I'm neurotic (though DH says so sometimes) and try not yo annoy the family by going on but it's difficult to stop!

I personally think that many of you are neurotic in your involvement regarding the minutae of your children's and gc's health and safety, where there are no reasonable grounds for being anxious.
Taking tablets and having to see your doctor for a condition you bring on yourself because you feel out of control, is utter madness.
If you want worry to make you ill, then carry on but it seems ludicrous to want to keep tabs on family activities and insist on phone calls and flying itineries. Madness.

DS was on a long coach journey late last night and then had to drive home afterwards, I worried! I had asked him to email me when he got home and only then could I sleep properly. I just post this as an example of a natural anxiety, given the weather conditions.

Another DS usually Skypes at the weekend, if he doesn't I will be worried again but it could just be that he and his family are busy. That is not a natural anxiety because common sense tells me that if anything was wrong I would hear from him, Dil or Dils mum. I will still be anxious though!

Gabriella that’s quite rude to call posters ‘neurotic’ and lacking in understanding when you say ‘there are no reasonable grounds for being anxious’.

There are people on here whose worst fears have been realised.

I think we all worry about our loved ones - I call it ‘dead in the gutter syndrome’. The anxiety when loved ones fly away on holiday or my daughter drives to London to see her Dad with her three children. I worry until they get back. This summer DGD is going to spend a week with him and his wife and I worry she’ll miss mummy and daddy and be unhappy - actually they are probably better able to look after her than I am and I know they would bring her home if things got too distressing, but I think a mother’s place is to worry

A very dear friend once pointed out that if something bad happened I’d probably hear about it sooner rather than later. So you are not alone, no need to be anxious about being anxious!

Some very thoughtful advice on this thread. DM always had ‘fears’ to the point where I felt guilty at taking DD anywhere that worried her.
My (now adult) DGS was very prem, emergency C section. He had frequent ‘blueys’ which none of us had previously encountered. When tiny he slept on a special pad which alerted his parents when he briefly stopped breathing. He’d had one in hospital and when he went home (before his due date!) his parents bought one for peace of mind. In his case the blueys continued until he was a toddler. They often happened when he was having his teeth cleaned and occasionally at nursery. Though scary for unaccustomed observers they didn’t last long. The best remedy was to blow in his face. I hadn’t thought about them for ages.
Wishing peace and strength to all of us who are under the clouds of anxiety. Being busy helps me, and meditation rather than random brooding.

I think you can no more stop being prone to anxiety than you can being prone to headaches, but if it is becoming an issue, then it needs dealing with, to at least try to reduce it.
I'm not an anxious person, and that hasn't changed, despite the worst happening.

Obviously what you are feeling has been set off by the event with your small GC and once the anxiety is turned on it is difficult to turn off. I have not had any experience with mindfulness but found simple relaxation classes and CDs a help years ago after the traumatic arrival of DS. Your GP was quite wrong to just dismiss what happened and your feelings about it but as they have I think you may have to look for somebody to talk things over with to help you calm down. Stay off the tablets if you can they are easy to start on but not always so easy to stop and as with being a mum, being a gran is not going to stop.