grandparenting classes

Grannylyn said it all in one short comment.
All you need to do is keep quiet unless asked for advice. Then when my 6 come to stay it's Grandma's house = Grandma's rules! Never had a problem & I get on really well with both DiL.

Just respect our children and in-laws and remember the grandchildren are our children's and not our children.

Just love them and mind what we say?
Good luck.

I was 68 when my first grandchild was born so felt very rusty! I would have welcomed a refresher class.

My method of Grandparenting is to talk to my DD, ask her questions & follow her lead. After all she was 29 when DGS1 was born & now 36 when DGS2 was born 12 days ago.

I don't interfere, my DD knows she only has to pick up the phone if she needs me. I look at DGS1 who is now 7 & know she's bringing him up well. She'd send me off with a "flea in my ear" if I crossed the line.

So much has changed in the last 36 years, in fact advice has changed in last 7 years as DD has found out. My DD survived being brought up by me so I'm sure she'd trust me with DGS'S, but I would always follow her guidelines. Not willing to pay out for Grandparenting classes

I think classes are an American idea.

www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2089554/Grandparents-classes-bring-speed-modern-baby-rules.html

However a book is useful because making 'mistakes' in family life can be very costly in emotional terms. may lead to fall outs that are difficult to negotiate.

There are a lot of books on how to be a granmother. this one looks quite good. Grandmother as student!!

www.amazon.co.uk/Becoming-Grandmother-Transition-Sheila-Kitzinger/dp/068483538X?tag=gransnetforum-21

* ajanela * - Maybe we should all be less dismissive of these courses. It sounds to me as though this could be a real help to many - especially in areas such as breastfeeding where I know support and information is still lacking.

I suspect that my son's mother in law would have enjoyed them in the run up to her first grandchild and then maybe then her daughter would have had more encouragement to breastfeed instead of encouragement to give up.

The baby is doing really well but I can't help but think that he has missed out on this.

As someone else said, maternal grandmothers in particular do seem to have a lot of influence in the early days.

As a Health Visitor, I started grandparenting classes near the end of my career. I qualified as a Health Visitor at age 23 and retired at 63,although I had breaks and lived abroad during that time.

In that period parenting especially in relation to feeding and baby care had changed dramatically. e.g in the 70's we gave babies solids in the first few weeks by the time I retired the guidlines were 6 months.

Parents look to grandparents for support but this support is undermined when advice from grandparents is different from that parents are reading about and learning from professions. This is very stressful to all the family and causes conflict which is nor what a new mums needs.

I did the grandparents class with a Mum who was a breast feeding counsellor. Many grandparents did not breast feed or had a bad experience meaning the level of breast feeding in the UK is one of the lowest in Europe. The skill of "The Womanly art of Breast feeding" was lost due to women having to work during WW2 and the provision of free National dried milk which carried until at least the 70's and then cheap milk was sold in clinics and it was still free to some families. The breast feeding counsellor was able to explain how grandparents could support their daughters who wanted to breast feed their babies.

These classes were not lectures but great fun with lots of input from everyone, and the grandparents found me more believeable as I spanned the 2 generations and could relate to where they were coming from and what had happened in their time and what was happening today.

So grandparenting classes are not about "teaching you to suck eggs" but helping all the family to work together with current information to enjoy parenting and do the best for their children.

Also I think reading the posts in many Forums that we grandparents have to learn to step back and remember we are not the parents. As my daughter once said, "I know you are right Mum, but I would like to learn for myself."

Nanarose, what wise comments. There have been many changes with new information on many aspects of childrearing. I think it shows support to our families. Some comments seem quite sarcastic, and give grandparenting a bad name.

When I was due to become a granny, I joined Lovedbymums group on Fb. Great way to learn the latest thinking on child-rearing after a 30-year gap, and the mums are very kind and helpful in telling me how they want to be treated by their mums and in-laws. So much has changed!

grumppa the title mentions grandparenting but the actual OP mentions grandmothering

I just didn't think you should be let off the hook left out!

When I had my first baby {having never even touched a real live one before!} I relied on the fact that I had successfully hand reared two kittens and a baby squirrel and how hard could a human be? When I had my first GS to look after I relied on the fact that both my children had survived my ministrations so this one probably would too.

PS. Afterthought: we could form a company to franchise classes all over the country world

If grandparenting classes are catching on, I suggest that most of us would be qualified to run them or at least act as consultants.

At a very personal level, I do think there is, during pregnancy, labour and the immediate post-partum period, a particular role for women. There is, in my experience, a bond around women who have given birth in which their own experiences are remembered, and examined at a profound level. Just as some women find the support& friendship of ante-natal classes deeply helpful, others do not wish to be part of it. My own feeling is that you should do what works for you, and your family.

Of course, most of the grandparent role, especially after the first few weeks, is not really gender related, although I do agree about the mysteries of car seats!

Surely grandparenting includes grandfathering?

Having said that, grandfathering seems to involve special skills in fitting and removing different child seats for different size DCS in the back of he car, not to mention calming them with specially chosen songs, especially French ones, from a rugby-playing past.

I don't think I need a course.

I think my daughters can tell anything they want me to know. Babies are babies, not been much to change.

what about grandfathering too?

They changed with my DC too - just go by what the parents want you to do!

The hard way? just seems that things change so much. Lots of things babies can't have to eat now, that used to be fine. Solids; the rules seem to change all the time!

Like parenting, you learn on the job

I suppose if grandparents are doing a lot of the childcare, then why not attend classes?

For many years, where I used to work, the midwives offered a single'granny'class as part of the usual (free) ante-natal classes. They described modern midwifery practice, what care could be expected, a few updates, and a chance to chat and ask questions.
They were much appreciated (of course, only those who liked the idea attended!) and a lot of grans would say how much they enjoyed them.
They are not running as such now, but I know that the mums are asked to invite whoever they want to attend, including grans-to-be.

To answer OP: I suggest you look at the National Childbirth Trust (nct.org) as some of their teachers do a 'granny' class. And I think it a good idea - as with anything, some will feel they don't need or want it, but I can see benefits.

I never give advice unless asked, which is rarely !!

In fact, Angie, it says here that many hospitals have these classes (old article though):

www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2089554/Grandparents-classes-bring-speed-modern-baby-rules.html

Iv never been, but Iv heard of them. From what Iv heard, they introduce gps to the latest babycare practices and ideas, so we'll understand if our ac and cil are doing some things differently than we did and won't clash over it. Also, Iv heard they give gps advice like "follow the parents' lead" with the child and "respect the parents' wishes for their child," etc. Obvious ideas to some, but not others, I suppose.

But sorry, Angie, I can't be of help. Perhaps someone at the local hospital would know? Or you could google it?